I guess fiber is good for you. I've been trying to consume more but it tears me up. Anyway, I found a good source of fiber. http://www.fiberone.com/Product/Bars.aspx?key=chocolate They have cereal with like 57% fiber. I can imagine the fucking gas you would get with that. I found a good story about fiber: http://www.poopreport.com/Techniques/Content/Fiber/fiber.html
I must have had that yesterday. I went about 6 times but all of that fiber would not allow diarrhea. At least after round 4 my farts didn't stink anymore.
Which reminds me of a shart story. As I stood looking out my bay window one morning, I attempted a gas discharge but was alarmed to feel a slick sputtering slide through my sphincter. I shuffled (cheeks clenched) to the shower and removed the soiled skivvies under the warm, evidence-cleansing water. I didn't think I released any droplets from the confines of my drawers but later on, my wife's cousin came over with her dog. She was perplexed as to why her dog shot over to the window and began to writhe around on the carpet but the wife and I got a good laugh out of it. Lessons learned: 1) When in doubt, fart on the throne. 2) Don't pet my wife's cousin's dog.
Gross! The only time I crapped my pants was in the 4th grade and I had intended on just farting. Luckily, it wasn't at school. I did pee by pants at school in the second grade laughing at the girl who fell head first down the slide. I've always had a sick sense of humor. The last time I peed my pants was at a party in high school. I conveniently "spilled" beer all over my pants after that. And I may have peed a little a few years later but I was tripping on acid so I couldn't tell if it was urine or just wet ground I had sat in. Both times it wasn't a torrential downpour, just dribble from laughing so hard.
