Dumb injuries

Discussion in 'Medical Advice' started by Nauseous, Sep 25, 2009.

  1. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

    Messages:
    10,885
    What are some stupid injuries that you have given yourself?

    Like I am sore today from trying to fit a big dog crate through the doorway the same time as myself. The top wire went into my stomach and now it is super sore... but I made it. It was a personal triumph!

    One time when I was a kid, I cut myself with a utility knife trying to cut a cardboard sign that I made. I remember it said, "Keep Out Shitheads!" and I was going it have it facing the neighbor's house. I cut myself what I thought was deep, but I was like 10 and freaking out. There was a trail of blood going from the garage to the utility room, to the bathroom, to the living room (to tell my sister to call 911) and back to the bathroom.
     
  2. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

    Messages:
    2,169
    this is hard to explain... but I unloaded the dish washer... had a bunch of big knives , cause I spilt a coke in the big cooking utinsil drawer.. anyway... I threw a handfull of them back into the draweregtfgasfavfgr54sr4sf54
    ';;l;''/;..../.../......llllllllllllllllllllpppppkihijklcjkvfkmnvfmnkvfmnvxcmnfxmn l;;;;;;;;
    lllllllllkkkkkkkkkkmkmmmmmmmn n nn hn jn n mn m m m m m , , , , , , .
     
  3. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    damn arab baby did that ..

    anyway somehow I stabed my fat gut... had to glue it . shit this kid will not leave the computer alone.
     
  4. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    One Christmas eve I was opening a toy for my boy and as I was cutting some of the wire ties away from the toy I stuck myself in the wrist. It bled like a mother fucker. Luckily 5 of the chicks at the christmas eve deal were nurses or EMTs, so they had it wrapped up in no time. I did shoot a stream of blood like 8 ft when I let go of the wound.

    The sad thing is when I did it, like .0005 seconds before I stabbed myself I thought, "I am going to cut myself doing it like this" and bang. there it went.

    <edit>My son looked like Carrie, he was standing between my feet and when I stood up over him I got blood all over him. It was a bad bad Christmas, well it wont be forgotten anyways.</edit>
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2009
  5. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

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    8,426
    Ran over my foot mowing a lawn. It took off my toenail then I went camping for a week in a shit load of pain and loaded up with pain pills and beer.

    Long story short was mowing the back slope earlier than usual I normally wait till noon so the grass is dry of any dew cause it is slick. The reason I was mowing early was I wanted to mow at the last minute before being gone for a week. I was to pickup some friends at the airport in like two hours. I ended up going to a hospital en route to the airport for bandaging, picked up my friends, then to a plastic surgeon for stitches, then camping.
     
  6. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

    Messages:
    10,885
    When I was 13, I was riding on a little Kawasaki dirt bike with the neighbor girl on the back chasing my sister (in her car) down our dirt road. I was hauling ass and realized that I was going too fast to make the bend in the road so I headed for the woods instead (gravel vs grass, grass sounded better to slide, die on) and layed the bike down inches from a tree. The borrowed helmet was too tight and it jarred the fuck out of me. I had one of those "Where am I? What day is this?" moments and then I had the worst bruises I had ever had all over my ribs... big nasty black ones and burnt my leg from the engine. I hated that dirtbike. My Yamahopper was way better. I need to get it outside and take pics of it before it gets too cold. That thing is hilarious.
     
  7. Robman97

    Robman97 Member

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    754
    You annoy me, but yet I find you strangely attractive all the same.
     
  8. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

    Messages:
    10,885
    Injure yourself and then come back and post something.
     
  9. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

    Messages:
    8,426
    Then there is the rest of the story where the neighbor girl is still not the same to this day due to massive brain injuries.

    Yes its true though country girls on dirt bikes are sexy. *pictures Jessica Simpson in Daisy Dukes on a country gravel road riding a dirt bike*
     
  10. Robman97

    Robman97 Member

    Messages:
    754
    Ah, all mine are work related and boring. Nothing with dirt bikes .
     
  11. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

    Messages:
    10,885
    Pfftt... like I care. That sign up there was directed at her family. She was bigger than me and handled the fall well.
     
  12. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

    Messages:
    2,169
    its funny I have tons of stupid injuries but I cant think of any for some reason.
     
  13. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    When I was like 17 or 18 we decided like at midnight to take a buddies dirtbike up to this big field we used to ride in. The field was behind a school so we just unloaded the bike in the school parking lot. It was drizzling slightly and a little cold. I was riding the bike down the parking lot, with my buddies beside me in my truck and my friend was kind of easing over towards me (not cool), so I hit the throttle and popped the front wheel up and was going to shoot up on the curb. Well the front wheel went fine, the back wheel however decided to not do fine. It caught the curb and slid, so I put my right foot out for balance and of course the bike spins out of control. I basically did a big split, the bike shot out from under me, the handle bar got stuck wide open. I ran hopping away from the bike with my injured scrotum wishing the bike would have blown up....


    :)
     
  14. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

    Messages:
    10,885
    That would have been great on video.

    In 8th grade, I was putting my coat on and my arm popped out the sleeve and hit the girl sitting beside me in the face and knocked the lens out of her glasses. We were in the auditorium so we were really close. I was afraid of her because she was scummy and smoked cigarettes and thought she was going to beat me up.

    I fell countless times up the steps in junior high and kids would be mean and kick my books and papers and step on my fingers. That was a rough school. I hated it there.

    I hit myself in the face with a ski one time the day before my 9th grade prom. Thought I was going to get a black eye but didn't.

    And I know I told the story about trying to cure my chicken pox with poison ivy so I ended up with both.

    Yeah, I have hurt myself retardly many times but can't think of some funny ones.

    I know when I was about 8, I had twin beds in my room even though there was only me in there and I was jumping back and forth between beds and fell head first between the bed and the nightstand and got stuck. I drew a picture of it later... a stick girl stuck in that position with a smile on her face... wish I still had it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2009
  15. Fat-N-Sassy

    Fat-N-Sassy New Member

    Messages:
    193
    Tommeh wuz trying to watch myself and a gentilman collar copulate one rainey day by stacking books atop a chair and lookeng threw the windoe at the top of the door. We got a bit friskee and he threw me against the door and we toppled on poor tommeh. my collar ended up with his penis jammed into the middle of the webster's dickshunairy, i was deep throat in roget and tommeh's nose went streight into my crack!
     

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