Damn cooter is acting up

I used the new Lifestyles SKYN condoms... and now my cooter is itchy and puffy..slightly warm. I mean I really want to fuck a frozen lidocaine popsicle.

the box says it is a new material... and well I guess I am allergic to it. Or maybe it kicked up a good ole yeast infection. This sucks

 

Start with vaginal sex, stay with vaginal sex. Swapping back and forth between anal and vaginal causes the itchy/puffy syndrome.

 

naa it was regular cooter sex... a whole 2 minutes .. yes that longer then he normally last.. guess the condom helped.

Now I want to fuck a round hairbrush

 

I just looked up lambskin... just out of curiousity. They are actually made with lamb's intestines. SICK! I thought it was just a name. I didn't know it was a real animal. Glad I have never used one. SICK.

I wish they made some type of tampon device the guy had to wear to stop up his hole.... let that shit just back up into his dick or something. I don't care. Condoms are so gross.

 

never used a lamb skin... these are made of.. hold on- lemme look polyisoprene ... I still think about sticking ice cubes in my cooter... I wonder if that would make things worse.. cooter is slightly better today .. but still "out of order"

 

What does aspercreme do? I remember the song, "you bet your sweet aspercreme" I loved it.

Ahh... temporary relief of minor aches and pains of muscles and joints associated with arthritis, simple backache, strains and pains

 

Oh, icecubes... wouldn't hurt a bit... it's just water.

 

I did put one in last night around 3am... it is the ice the frezer makes.. not big square cubes... any way I put it in... it was cold... so I spit it out real fast ... went to bed - and pictured a dead friend watching me as a ghost .. laughing at me.

anyway ... remember back when the arab put that jarred minced garlic in the crotch of my panties.... Well this morning he made a comment about my cooter... said how does it feel today... I started bitching about it ... and he started laughing. I wonder if he has done something to my cooter... to fuck it up... asshole

 

By some sort of sex lube cream and empty the container and replace with preparation -h hemroid cream, or whatever you think may be better. :biggrin:

Get revenge you know he did it.

 

Yeah, don't stand for that shit.. Do something in return. Something really itchy and painful.

 

monkey is like at 85% now... still out of order... but I aint bitchin about it. All this because I insist on condoms...Im sorry but we break up all the time, he dates a skank... also goes overseas where you can get young hot hookers for like 10$ USD ... hell no ... aint no dingdong EVER goin bareback up in this shit.

 

I never use condoms.

Whats the point in fucking if you can't feel a fucking thing?

 

What's the point anyway? One pissy thing shoved up into another pissy thing and bumped around a few minutes until some piss and gross stuff spews out and ya gotta go bathe. The whole thing is unnecessary and unsanitary.

 

No doubt I hate using them

 

You just dropped a few notches on the damn she's hot list.

 

Cause when that pissy stuff comes out.... that feels sooooooo good.

 

Im sure she is kicking herself in the ass for that

 

If you thought diamonds were forever... slip some superglue into the KY tube in his travel bag. She what he brings home.

 

You need a moment with the master.

 

eww now I need a moment to throw up