Cramps

Discussion in 'Medical Advice' started by Nauseous, Feb 5, 2009.

  1. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,885
    I have terrible menstrual cramps. I am now having periods every other month instead of bi-annually but the cramps are still the same.

    I wish guys could feel this shit. Pain and pressure in the front, pain and pressure in your lower back almost to the point where you think you need to take a big dump. I wonder if having a tilted uterus has anything to do with the back cramps? I'm thinking cramps have to do with your cervix. I could be wrong. It's a contraction of female organ. I've read women who have a tilted uterus tend to have back labor. I wonder if I would have back labor? I can't even imagine.

    I'm MC Menses and my flow be fresh! :)
     
  2. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,885
    After that thread, I thought I was dying for a while.

    These be bad. I've been pooping all morning and I'm in pain and at work with no heating pad or green tea.

    I know no one cares and I don't care that no one cares. Well, Bigmama would care and that's all that really matters. She's always down for some gross girl talk.

    At least I'm not...

     
  3. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    we are on the same schedule.. I have bad back aches and diarrhea with my periods as well. I understand the pain... but not the poop.

    I think the cervix has some part in the pain.. cause when you have a chunky period - you cramp more. I know when I have a burst of strong pain that last for a while... Im going to have a huge chicken liver hangin out my monkey.

    I was doing some research earlier about how to speed up your period... did not find anything worth trying. Seems like we could just suck it all out... and be over it.
    I also sometimes get one or two zits on my ass when I am on the rag...I never understood that either.

    maybe we should find a forum with weirdo fetishist...that would actually enjoy our chats.
     
  4. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    So what do you have to do to get rid of them all together?
     
  5. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    when you say "them" are you referring to cramps.... or Nauseous and I?

    CRAMPS - you can take pain pills... that helps... but I cant take pills. they make me itch and puke. Some people say soak in a hot bath... but that does not do shit. We just suffer for a few days, and pray for menopause.

    yeah it is not fair... we have periods, cramps, go through pregnancy, get stretch marks and saggy bellies from it, then maneuver a human out of a cooter (or have them cut out of us) , get breast cancer, get saggy boobies.. have to shave and wax and puck ...wear makeup ... worry about wrinkles ... ( and I hear some women even cook and clean)

    Guys have it made. I hope all you bastards give your bitches something good for valentines day... and not a box of chocolates from Walmart or a drug store. You have more then a week... get your asses out there and use your brain and get her a real gift...something she wants (and not what she needs i.e. vacuum cleaner)
     
  6. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    So you're saying that giving her a free ticket to ride 'space mountain' isnt good enough?

    :)
     
  7. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

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    5,606

    Talk about killing a buzz....
     
  8. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    you guys should know by now ... not to read the chick's posts in the medical section... its never anything pleasant to read.
     
  9. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,885
    Guess they don't want to hear about cervical mucous...

    About the chicken liver. I remember fishing some of that out of the toilet once because it was so huge. I was going to take it to the doctor. I thought it was a dead baby or half of my cervix. Then I decided if it was, it wasn't like they could do anything with it, so I put it back.

    Sometimes that stuff can plug up the drain holes in a shower.
     
  10. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    And I complain about pulling hair out of the drain (I will forever keep my mouth shut).
     
  11. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    yeah last night I had to pull a turd out of my drain.. little arab baby took a dump in the tub right as the water was draining. Glad the drain was filled with my hair...it made a nice little net.
     
  12. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    My boy did that a couple of times. Must be something with the warm water. Thats one time I was glad I had cats, I just grabbed their litter scooper and pulled the chocolate submarine out. Then drained the tub, cleaned it, and refilled it and bathed him, again.
     
  13. pussyish

    pussyish New Member

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    57
    MY OB said that a cervix tilted back was a for sure back labor pain and thats why all my babies were freakin hell
     
  14. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

    Messages:
    10,885
    Well, that solves that. My uterus is retroverted. I asked him what that meant and he said "Nothing, just means I have to push harder." That was when he was doing the fist up your vagina and pushing around on your stomach with the other hand thing. I hate that part. It's way worse than the pap smear.
     
  15. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    every time I go to the gyno and they tell you scoot to the end of the table.. I always feel like I have to fart.
    I guess I am just silly or retarded, but I can not go to any Doc (especially a cooter doc) without cracking jokes. I hate docs with no sense of humor
     
  16. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

    Messages:
    10,885
    I hate it when they make you sit there forever on that paper and your ass and legs start to sweat. I sit there and fan myself and look down and see the paper a different color because of moisture or it always seems that my junk decides that it wants to discharge and then I feel like they think I am getting all horny and excited in there so I have to make sure I wipe myself up really good first. I mean, I want them to have to use the KY...

    I had to take a horrible shit once before my appointment. I had to use the public bathroom and everything and of course, it was runny and not a clean wipe, so I looked under the stall to make sure I was alone and crabwalked with my pants down to the sink and got some rough paper towels and hand soap and crabwalked back and cleaned and wiped and crabwalked back to rinse and pat. That sucked. I was so afraid that I would leave a streak on the paper or smell like shit when his face was down there and that's how we would remember me.

    I see him out a lot. It's weird to see him out doing normal stuff. I just imagine that his face should always be shoved in someone's fuckyparts.
     
  17. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

    Messages:
    10,885
    Guess that's not really a crabwalk. I didn't get down on all fours. :biggrin:
     
  18. pussyish

    pussyish New Member

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    57
    They always fist me because they have to go soo far to pull on your cervix its fucking ridiculous Im always afraid that my couchie will misfire right in the middle, a fucking squirt to the face would be awesome
     
  19. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    I have no idea what is goin on with yalls cooters... no doc or anyone has ever fisted me. I have had the Pelvic exam where they put 2 fingers in ..but never a fist... I dont think a fist would fit in mine. my shit tizzight
     
  20. pussyish

    pussyish New Member

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    57
    they really essentially have to try to put those 2 fingers to lets say your tail bone to find a tilted or just fucked up cervix dont worry my shit tightens up like a champ or I could dose it with some liquid virgin "the stuff porn stars were made from"
     

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