prison style!! i was working in kirkham prison today... you can't spend real money in there, except in vending machines... you have to buy tokens from the admin if you want to pay for anything over the counter... we went to the canteen for a cooked breakfast.. cooked n served up by a couple of really sound inmates.. one was from the next town to me.... the bill came to about 8 quid all in.. (breakfast for 4 + drinks)... 3 cigarettes for the lot oh yeah.. and tommy.. i have a message for you from Big Black Rick in the Lifer Block... he says to "hurry up and get your cute 'lil manc ass caught in littlewoods again...." he says there hasn't been anyone in there since you left that can replace the feelings of empowerment he got when you cuddled up to him at night and called him 'Daddy Brickie' after he blasted his seed up your ass.... he said it reminded him of his sex offending days when he'd snatch 12 year olds from the rochdale arcade.. when they'd paternalise him in fear to project their humanity to his conscious in a bid for a heartstrings release.... oh yeah and he says to tell you he's changed since they sent him to the psychoanalysis and he won't attempt to asphyxiate you when your crying wakes him up at night... because he realises men need to vent too
I went to an abandoned prison a few weeks ago and got deathly sick. Did you watch them prepare your food, Pimp?
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nauseous: Did you watch them prepare your food, Pimp?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> they cooked the food right there in front of me pukey.... are you wondering what would be likelihood of acquiring a side order of secret recipe sandwich relish...?? (ingredients:=:spunk n phlegm and a pinch of pubes) estimated chance of our food receiving complimentary secret relish.....: 0 why so sure?.. because, like i already mentioned, the lag-chef who cooked for and served us lives in a town local to us(5 mile away, and after engaging in a brief name dropping session {where each respondent names who he knows... if a shared name crops up.. then the ice skirts around breaking point... and for those of us who get paranoid of undercover pigs trying to get a man on the inside.. .we can very easily phone up the 'shared' person(s) to check up on the other guy}... it turns out that our chef is taking the rap for a good friend of my family's, dave ***** from burnley.... seems they took advantage of the double jeopardy ruling and blagged dave out of facing conspiracy charges (7-20 years).... {when the defendant is in court facing his charges, a muppet is paid a grand or so, or their debts written off.. to stand up in court and announce that they commited the crime in question... with a public confession the case against the defendant will have become untenable and the case will be thrown out of court.... with the muppet pleading guilty all the way it'll be a fastrack process to the nick... no need for a jury, just up in front of a judge for sentencing.... once the original defendant has had his charges thrown out of court he cannot be tried for the same crime again... due to an age-old law which prohibits trying someone who's already been cleared of the same crime in a courtroom previously.... something to do with protecting the infallibility of judges... anyway.. after a coupla months doin time, the muppet will just appeal to have his sentence quashed due to his confession being unsound... maybe temporary insanity resulting from emotional stress or some shit like that.... if his appeal is rejected then he can just get in touch with the freed guy, who can then wander into a police station to confess that HE did in fact commit the crime that the muppet's serving time for... the muppet will then have to be released.. albeit after receiving and serving sentences for the contempt of court/perverting course of justice charges that will be served... and the freed guy gets away scot free}.... whoah blah fucking ramble!!.. ugh drug fuelled posting again... anyway... wtf... pukey: i have no need to concern myself with BK/McD/KFC style befouling of my food... the cook/server turned out to be a friend of a friend... so i can be 100% certain there will be no 'surprises' with my breakfast
GRRR!! bitchmofo logins <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nursey: pukey: i have no need to concern myself with BK/McD/KFC style befouling of my food... the cook/server turned out to be a friend of a friend... so i can be 100% certain there will be no 'surprises' with my breakfast<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> that ^^ and the rest of the post was done by me... i'm pretty fucked up right now.. i'd better start banning myself from the forum when i'm wasted....
tis a shame the edit feature is no longer here, ain't it? Judging by the context of the post, however, one "in the know" could easily discern your fucked-up ramblings from that of Nursey's... Don't sell yourself short, though... it was quite entertaining, regardless of who composed it. Besides, what better way for a fag to enjoy ass-rapings, than to be paid a grand for two months of non-stop anal stimulation? Sounds like Sexual Chocolate should be chiming in any time now with aspirations for becoming the next muppet...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ~pimpchichi~: GRRR!! bitchmofo logins that ^^ and the rest of the post was done by me... i'm pretty fucked up right now.. i'd better start banning myself from the forum when i'm wasted....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I kinda thought it was you all alonng. Evem I, at 5AM, fucked up and ready to puke knew this. I was just curious anyway.
Here in my neighborhood, Eastern State Penitentary (an old, out of use facility) is one of the better places to tour (beats the Liberty Bell by a fucking mile). Hell, I just might visit it again today.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ulfur Engil: Here in my neighborhood, Eastern State Penitentary (an old, out of use facility) is one of the better places to tour (beats the Liberty Bell by a fucking mile). Hell, I just might visit it again today.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I want to go, damnit! I went to Moundsville. It was cool, but we had to go on a tour... couldn't just roam around freely.
