Bar

Discussion in 'Jokes, Funny Stories and other Text.' started by kei, Mar 31, 2004.

  1. kei

    kei New Member

    Messages:
    5
    A man walks into a bar
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    ouch...
     
  2. Dr.Roboto

    Dr.Roboto New Member

    Messages:
    979
    a fag signs in to fugly.com
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    tells a crappy joke and shuts the fuck up.
     
  3. Captain Morgan

    Captain Morgan New Member

    Messages:
    69
    hopefully thats how it goes
     
  4. Lord Toodle of Pip

    Lord Toodle of Pip New Member

    Messages:
    83
    MAN WALKS INTO A BAR

    A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, a
    small cat jumps up on the stool beside him.

    The bartender comes over, and asks for their order.

    The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich.

    What's yours?"

    "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.

    The cat says "I'll have a half beer, but I'm not paying for it."

    The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please".

    The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.

    The next day, the man, ostrich and cat come again, and the man says "I'll
    have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same," and the cat says
    "I'll have a half glass of beer but I'm not paying for it."

    Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

    This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the trio enter again.

    "The usual?" asks the bartender.

    "Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch" says the man.
    "Same for me" says the ostrich. "I'll have a small scotch but I'm not
    paying for it" says the cat.

    "That will be $7.20" says the bartender.

    Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on
    the bar.

    The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me sir.
    How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your
    pocket every time?"

    "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
    found an old lamp.

    When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

    My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my
    hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there."

    That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a
    million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for
    as long as you live!"

    "That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
    money is always there," says the man.

    The bartender asks "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich and the
    cat?"

    The man replies "My second wish was for a chick with long legs and a tight
    pussy."




    i know i know its as old as the hills but hey what the hell i like ostriches!! :p
     
  5. KaptainSkitzo

    KaptainSkitzo New Member

    Messages:
    959
    At least it was funnier than the first joke in this thread.
     
  6. Coma White

    Coma White New Member

    Messages:
    233
    yup, the second was good.
     

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