Animals on Drugs

A rabbit was hopping thru the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit said, "Giraffe, don't do drugs. Come, run with me through the forest."

The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint. He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit. They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine. The rabbit said, "Elephant, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest."

The elephant looked at them, looked at his razor and mirror, tossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe. Soon they came across a lion about to shoot up. The rabbit said, "Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us though the forest!"

The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle and started mauling the rabbit. Horrified, the giraffe and elephant protested, "Lion, why are you doing this?!? He was trying to help you."

The lion paused in his brutal cuffing. "THIS little fucker? He makes me run around the forest like a fucking idiot every time he's on Ecstasy."

 

Hahahahaha that was so funny, lets hear it again

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Emetic:
A rabbit was hopping thru the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit said, "Giraffe, don't do drugs. Come, run with me through the forest."

The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint. He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit. They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine. The rabbit said, "Elephant, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest."

The elephant looked at them, looked at his razor and mirror, tossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe. Soon they came across a lion about to shoot up. The rabbit said, "Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us though the forest!"

The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle and started mauling the rabbit. Horrified, the giraffe and elephant protested, "Lion, why are you doing this?!? He was trying to help you."

The lion paused in his brutal cuffing. "THIS little fucker? He makes me run around the forest like a fucking idiot every time he's on Ecstasy."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stranger:
Hahahahaha that was so funny, lets hear it again<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

yeah... i'm in full agreement...

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Emetic:
A rabbit was hopping thru the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit said, "Giraffe, don't do drugs. Come, run with me through the forest."

The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint. He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit. They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine. The rabbit said, "Elephant, don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest."

The elephant looked at them, looked at his razor and mirror, tossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe. Soon they came across a lion about to shoot up. The rabbit said, "Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us though the forest!"

The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle and started mauling the rabbit. Horrified, the giraffe and elephant protested, "Lion, why are you doing this?!? He was trying to help you."

The lion paused in his brutal cuffing. "THIS little fucker? He makes me run around the forest like a fucking idiot every time he's on Ecstasy."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

How come no fucker found it funny when I said it? Must be the way you tell it Emetic. I was always crap at telling jokes...

 

to be brutally honest piniky, he tells it a lot better... maybe you should leave the jokes to the little bird...

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PinkorBrown69:
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, “Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so much better!” The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, “Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so good!” The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... “Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!” The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the little rabbit.
As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, “Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!”
The lion answers, “That little fucker makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he’s on ecstasy!”

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

Sorry for the repeat - didn't catch it first time around.

As for my apparent dbl-post...post seemed to hang at the redirect function so I hit Refresh. Shit happens.

 

A fuckin' rabbit was hopping thru the fucking forest when he came upon a fuckin' giraffe rolling a fuckin' joint. The fucking rabbit said, "Giraffe, don't do drugs. You are a fuck. Come, run with my stupid ass through the fucking forest."
The fucking giraffe looked at the fucking rabbit, then, piece of shit, at the fucking joint. Mind if I break your neck? He dropped the fucking joint and ran off with the fucking rabbit. Them jizzers came upon a motherfucking elephant snorting cocaine. You are a pussy. The fucking rabbit said, "Elephant, don't do drugs. Fact: I should break your ass. Come, run with us through the fucking forest."

The fucking elephant looked at them piece of shits, looked at that bastard's razor and mirror, tossed them piece of shits away and began running with the fucking rabbit and giraffe. Soon them fellaters came across a lion about to fuckin' shoot up. Know this, you are a bitch. The fucking rabbit said, "Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us though the fucking forest!"

The fucking lion looked at the fucking rabbit and then, piece of shit, at the fucking needle. This is your ass on the line. He put down the fucking needle and started mauling the fucking rabbit. Horrified, the fucking giraffe and elephant protested, "Lion, why are you and your monkey doing this bullshit?!? You are a burning pussy. Tell me every fucking thing I want to know. He was trying to help you and your hand-job."

The fucking lion paused in that bastard's brutal cuffing. I'm not through yet! I should crack your ass. "THIS little fucker? Shut your mouth when I'm asking for answers. Pop Quiz, why are you such a pussy? He makes my stupid ass run around the fucking forest like a goddamn fucking idiot every shit-ass time he's on Ecstasy."

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PinkorBrown69:
How come no fucker found it funny when I said it<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I thaught it was funny the first time Pinky
I went round tellin everyone. It's one of the few jokes I remember when I'm pissed (or other).

Here is another...

Little Red is skipping through the forrest with her basket of goodies when the Big Bad Wolf jumps out. "Red" says Big Bad, "I'm gunna beat the shyt out of ya and take your basket of goodies."

"No your not!!" says Red, taking her pistol from her basket and lifting up her dress. "You're gunna eat me like it says in the book!"

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Topper:
A fuckin' rabbit was hopping thru the fucking forest when he came upon a fuckin' giraffe rolling a fuckin' joint. The fucking rabbit said, "Giraffe, don't do drugs. You are a fuck. Come, run with my stupid ass through the fucking forest."
The fucking giraffe looked at the fucking rabbit, then, piece of shit, at the fucking joint. Mind if I break your neck? He dropped the fucking joint and ran off with the fucking rabbit. Them jizzers came upon a motherfucking elephant snorting cocaine. You are a pussy. The fucking rabbit said, "Elephant, don't do drugs. Fact: I should break your ass. Come, run with us through the fucking forest."

The fucking elephant looked at them piece of shits, looked at that bastard's razor and mirror, tossed them piece of shits away and began running with the fucking rabbit and giraffe. Soon them fellaters came across a lion about to fuckin' shoot up. Know this, you are a bitch. The fucking rabbit said, "Lion, don't do drugs. Come, run with us though the fucking forest!"

The fucking lion looked at the fucking rabbit and then, piece of shit, at the fucking needle. This is your ass on the line. He put down the fucking needle and started mauling the fucking rabbit. Horrified, the fucking giraffe and elephant protested, "Lion, why are you and your monkey doing this bullshit?!? You are a burning pussy. Tell me every fucking thing I want to know. He was trying to help you and your hand-job."

The fucking lion paused in that bastard's brutal cuffing. I'm not through yet! I should crack your ass. "THIS little fucker? Shut your mouth when I'm asking for answers. Pop Quiz, why are you such a pussy? He makes my stupid ass run around the fucking forest like a goddamn fucking idiot every shit-ass time he's on Ecstasy."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's alot of fuckin'...

 

The 7 Dwarfs were standing outside a convent. When a nun finally appeared, Dopey stepped forward and asked, "Excuse me, sister - do you have any dwarf nuns in there?"

The nun replied, "Why, no, we don't."

Dopey then asked, "Well, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in this city?" The nun replied, "No, I'm afraid not."

As she closed the door, the other dwarfs began gleefully chanting, "Dopey fucked a pen-guin, Dopey fucked a pen-guin..."

 

Dedicated to Stranger

A visiting New Zealander was walking down a rural road in Australia when he happened to glance over a fence and saw a farmer going at it with a sheep. The shocked tourist climbed the fence and quietly approached. "Y'know, mate," the New Zealander remarked pointedly, "back 'ome we shear those."

The Aussie paused in midstroke and regarded the intruder with a mean eye. "I don't give a bloody damn wot you do - I'm not shearing this with you nor anyone else!"

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stranger:
Little Red is skipping through the forest with her basket of goodies when the Big Bad Wolf jumps out. "Red" says Big Bad, "I'm gunna beat the shit out of ya and take your basket of goodies."

"No your not!!" says Red, taking her pistol from her basket and lifting up her dress. "You're gunna eat me like it says in the book!"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

i like that one.. got anymore good joke retard ranger?

 

A hunter goes into the forest looking for a new bear skin rug. Pritty soon he spies one and lines him up. He's just about to pull the trigger when he feel a tap, tap, tap on his shoulder. He turns round and is horrified to see it's another bear.

"That's my buddy you're about to shoot there! Now either you're gunna give me a headjob or I'm gunna tear you to shreds". Fearing for his life and seeing no other option he gives the bear a headjob.

The next day, bent on revenge, he goes hunting in the forest looking for that bear. It's not long before he finds him and smiling to himself he lines him up. The next minute.. tap, tap, tap.

"That's my buddy your about to shoot there! Now either your gunna let me fuck you up the ass or I'm gunna tear you to shreds" Fearing for his life and seeing no other option he drops his pants and bends over.

The hunter is infuriated and vows he is gunna get this bear if it the last thing he does. So the next day he goes into the forest looking for the bear. He soon finds him and lines him up. Tap,tap, tap. "You don't come here for the hunting do ya".

 

What did the chicken say to the scrambled eggs?

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Topper:
What did the chicken say to the scrambled eggs?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Would it be something lame like "Pull yourself together"?

 

Crazy mixed up kids.

 

I stand corrected, my bad. Only half as lame as I expected.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Topper:
What did the chicken say to the scrambled eggs?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

chicken jokes!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

A penguin comes rushing into the mechanic's, huffing and puffing, sweating and foaming at the mouth.
"What happened?" says mechanic, "Blow a gasket?"
"No, blew a seal"

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stranger:
A penguin comes rushing into the mechanic's, huffing and puffing, sweating and foaming at the mouth.
"What happened?" says mechanic, "Blow a gasket?"
"No, blew a seal"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL... did the keeds at special school tell you these jokes?