For those of you who don't like Dennis Miller, who is not Jewish, you may want to re-consider as this is one of the most brilliant things he has ever done. Pass it on to all your friends. For those who don't know, Dennis Miller is a comedian who has a show called Dennis Miller Live on HBO. He is not Jewish He recently said the following about the Mid East situation: "A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you Really need. Here we go: The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians." As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation." So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any more to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death." I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't. They could've had their own country any time in the last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp David. But if you have your own country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course --that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been around God's Earth, you know that's really saying something. It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Mid east. Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one. Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five Million Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches,Everyone will be pals.. Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding. My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just reverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea?Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to death. Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that with vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of super models who've just had their drugs taken away. However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral weight. We've already lost some. After September 11th our president told us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the countries that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint. If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan. Please feel free to pass this along to your friends Walk in peace! Be Happy! Have a wonderful life! I hope you found this as interesting as I did. Checkmate
Propaganda Anyone? Editor's Note: This turns out to be only an interesting coincidence. Turns out that one Larry Miller, a jewish writer, put out a "comedy" piece that was distributed and attributed to Dennis Miller. It was very pro-Israel. Dennis had him on the show the other day and he seemed very pround of himself. Poor choice of guests IMO but pretty par for the course for Dennis these days. He's getting a lot of mileage on how the US citizens who are really bad guys should have their Constitutional rights removed. Like the normal courts will let them off or something. What a precedent. After I posted all of this I managed to exchange mail with both Peter and Jim about this issue. Both seem like very reasonable individuals and Peter and I, at least, seem very eye-to-eye on our beliefs. Both of them just thought that I'd like to read the piece. So now I don't know what to do with this copy. I'll leave it now for posterity. Maybe to demonstrate how suspicious I am. Maybe to show how coincidence != reality. So last night I got 2 pieces of interesting mail from two individuals. At 20:39 EDT one guy named Peter sent me a rant with a very anti-Palestinian stant attributed to Dennis Miller. It initially read like Dennis but didn't seem to be his style. About 20 minutes later he corrected himself saying that it was Larry Miller, not Dennis. Okay fine. But then, 2 hours later at 22:31 EDT another dude named Jim sent me the exactly the same clip attributing it also in error to Dennis Miller. Jim has obviously not figured out his error since he sent out no correction. So, what's going on here? That two guys would send me mail about the same topic within 2.5 hours of each other is strange enough given that I get maybe 5-10 non-spam messages a day. That they forward the same article to me is stranger. That they both incorrectly attribute it to the same individual just raises too many flags. Looks like some organization is waging a PR campaign. We've heard a lot about the letters to the editor and the chastising of the Press, particularly in LA, for being too "pro-Palestinian". How dare they report that grandmothers and children are getting shot over there. How dare they talk about the bulldozing of neighborhoods. But don't worry. They are just as interested in reporting on how many civilians got shredded by the fundamentalist psycho Palestinian.
Even if you take Larry/Dennis's rant at face value, it still shows that until the middle of last century the land that is now Israel was occupied by Arabs. The Jewish folk who live there (who I have no problems with at all as a people or as individuals, might I point out), were trucked in during the middle of last century. Though of course, that's now complicated by the many who have been born there. A similar, though not identical, situation is the fate of the Aborigines of Australia, who were minding their own business until a bunch of white Europeans (mainly poor English and Irish to begin with) were dumped in the middle of them. Or for that matter, the native Americans who suddenly had to share house with a group of crazy whities. Now, given that after HUNDREDS of years, there are still major issues and emotions swirling around in both Aboriginal and native American communities, is it any wonder that after barely fifty years the Arabs have a gripe with Jewish Israelis and, therefore, with the administrations that prop them up? Folks, it's not really about religion (though that's wrapped up in it). It's about state-sanctioned dispossession. Here endeth my rant. - CG
Well spotted, MV! Specifically: Did God tell George W. Bush to strike at Al-Qaeda and Iraq? God only knows. Did Bush SAY that God told him to strike? ... "According to Abbas, Bush said: 'God told me to strike at al Qaida and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If you help me I will act, and if not, the elections will come and I will have to focus on them.'" (I should point out that the full article, which you can read here, is balanced enough to advise that the above statement may be a mis-translation. But I wouldn't bet on it.)
Fugly never made me bad. It just wasted a lot of my time and energy. I got bored last week (Remember Hurricane Dennis? Boarded up and hunkered down for a weekend?) and made the mistake of catching up on a few posts. Glad to see that I was not forgotten. It brought a tear to me eyes. Anyway, the place seemed rather dull without a conservative voice of reason to piss everyone off. What happened to Mia and Samantha? I never did get to consumate the marriage with Mia. Oh well, life goes on. Barry
Mia was dumb enough to fuck a little with Dwaine. And she was an annoying cunt so her not posting is like a rash ceasing to itch.
Murder in the name of any god is wrong. I got some respect for the buddhists tho..they know how to make a statement..pouring gasoline on themselves and then setting themselves on fire..burning..the most painful death there is..to make a statement..and not taking any others along with them. fuck, ya gotta respect that.
