i feel stuck at a crossroad in life,i dnt knw wt to do..i could go one way an end up in prison for long.or could try go the good way an abide the governments corrupt law,but that way is hard,no food no money,strugglin to pay rent u know the story.but i want to try be a good person but without sellin drugs how can i live?? i dnt want to follow the law because it is jus nonsense corrupt blabber.wot do i do? life has got me to my knees at times an so depressed i feel like id be better off dead.another one bites the dust.life is shit with or without money,with or without a partner,in or out of jail.u jus cum to realize one day that no matter wt u feel like or have around u,life is the same,we are jus germs that evolved mentally over billions of years an now have all this religion an laws an rules to follow it absolute bollox! y does every single living human have to follow the way of that shit? we shouldnt even be like this,cos basically we are born to die,we live for a tiny blip in time jus to die an try pass on knowledge of corrupt religion down the ladders.i jus dnt knw wot to do in life no more.feels like since i got out of jail i got nuffin,no friends,no life,no shit.nothin fr me to do but wait till the day of my wake,makin ends meet along the way.lifes a frustrating thing.i jus see so many happy people around me an it makes me think y cnt i be happy? i jus feel like i have no emotion,no cares,but loads of worries on wots around the corner.a gun,a knife,a cell,but then i jus think fuck it.i gta go oneday,jus wonder how im gunna go now.but i cnt never really explain myself properly but if anyone understands on how i feel,how av u overcome it an moved on? i wanna move on but theres no where fr me to go,nuffin fr me to do,i cnt get work,jus a lost soul wanderin the city at night.reminisin on good times tht will never appen agen.rememberin old friends tht are in prison or dead.cnt remember much from my child hood though,maybe thts y im like i am,maybe my mind has blocked out my childhood cos it was really fucked up.i dont like violence really,but its everywhere i go,a fight for survival.ive ad enuff of livin on the edge with no return,i needa find an escape route.but if i do manage to jus pack my bags an move city ill be homeless,an i will av gangs frm my area huntin me to kill me cos i lefr,wot the fuckkk do i do??? please man sum advice would be appreciated..lifes a shit maze!
i like the philosophy russian d,i try to look positive but half the time i am then the other half im not,its like i change mindframe a lot sort a thing.a lot
