If you like this story, check out my site and be my whore, thanks! The nutshell version goes like this : I am a very easily bored person and I tend to entertain myself by thinking of "what if?" scenarios and "It'd be cool if I did this right now" type ideas. For instance, I was alone on the elevator today when the doors opened and a very prim and proper, sexually repressed woman in her early thirties is standing in front of me. Immediately I think "It would be cool if I started wiggling all of my fingers crazily while saying 'ohhhh my, are you going.... DOWN?' Now, when I say "DOWN", the look in my eyes is completely dead serious. The eyes of the posessed...this is followed immediately by a shrill giggle that only ends when I put my hand over my mouth in a naughty-boy fashion. Did I mention I was to be hopping from foot to foot as if I was walking on hot coals? Now, because of mace and other easily concealed weapons, I rarely act on these ideas. But they are always invading my mind, ALWAYS... and I like it. This is when I am sober. When I smoke the dope, these ideas become a little twisted. For instance : I was at the movie theatre completely high off my ass and there was a very over-protective mother there with her two children. One was a toddler. I did not care for her excessive coddling and protective nature at all. She was hovering over the child, giving him no room to breath at all. My mind began to work on this scenario. Oh, I forgot to mention, many times these ideas have some level of irony or poetic justice to them. The woman on the elevator, if she wasn't so prim and uptight looking never would have illicited that idea from my mind. So, there I was, watching this woman hover over her child. The idea was simple, being as stoned as I was. It went like this : I was to grab the kid, run off with him and yell "Levi, Levi, I found one! I found one! He has a pretty shine to his hair too! His drained blood will please GANGROID more than the last!" Then I was going to bring him back to the mom and say "hehehe, just kidding, GANGROID doesn't want this one." Now, that would be okay, but I was really high... and the voice that tells me this would be a very bad idea to act upon seems to go on vacation. So there I was, staring at the kid, contemplating whether I should drag him by his feet or by headlock. But that wasn't what made me quit. No. Because the fates were smiling upon me that day, my friends. The kid and his mom went into the theatre before I could go forth with my plan. No. The scenario that made me realize weed makes me a little weird happened on the El. Red Line. Chicago. Illinois. To even attempt to explain what exactly was going through my mind would be idiotic. There is no real way to communicate this, but I will do my best. I was walking to the El stop with the gait of a very high man. I made the mistake of not wearing my headphones and therefore had to entertain myself with my thoughts while walking the 6 blocks to the stop. While walking, as with many stoned minds, my thoughts began to get philosophical. I mulled over the ideas of time and space while making sure I did not step on any cracks on the sidewalk. When one has been smoking weed, it is very easy to conclude solid answers for things out of thin air. That being said, it didn't take long for me to hypothesize something very important. I came to the conclusion that if time travel is possible that it is CERTAIN that in some point in the neverending future, that man will master the technique. Then I recalled that Einstein indeed said it was possible to travel back in time. HOLY SHIT! This was a revelation. There are time machines. Then my mind began contemplating this fact. I then concluded that if man could travel in time, which I just proved scientifically that he could, then he most undoubtedly WOULD. I figured man's curiosity about the past would lead him to go back in time to every era to study it completely, so that history could be re-written properly. I had this idea that time would be mapped out, so that time travelers could all stand and interact in certain areas that were known to be free of human contact so as to not disrupt the continuity of things. For instance, right now, for the next hour, there will be nobody in my closet. Therefore, under my hypothesis, a time traveller could and would undoubtedly travel to my closet during that time to study things and then shoot back into the future before ever coming into contact with me. This was startling. People from the future were all over the place and they were studying our culture. I came to this mind-bending conclusion before walking three city blocks. Then I came to another conclusion. I realized that I didn't like this one bit. I decided that I would keep my eye out for time travellers and if I saw any, I would give them a piece of my mind. So there I was at the El stop getting onto the El train when I noticed a guy making sure he wasn't near anyone. He seemed very cautious of the other people on the El. I didn't think that it might have to do with the fact that most people on the El are savages who smell like the inside of Darth Vader's mask and more often than not have bugs crawling on them. No, he was doing that so he wouldn't interrupt the space-time continuum with his selfish time travel. That was just the beginning though. I then realized he had very high, prominent cheek bones and pale white hair. This was terrifying me, for everyone knows that people from the future have very prominent cheek bones and pale white hair! Jesus! Then he got out some sort of communication device. A cell phone. He was talking to the future though, I knew it, I could sense it. So I sat across from him and I didn't keep my eyes off of him the entire time. The look on my face must have been a cross between bitter hatred and confused awe. This motherfucker was from the fucking future and he had the audacity to call up the future right in front of me. Then he did something that PROVED he was from the future. He noticed I was staring at him. He saw me scowling at him and he began to act nervous! If he wasn't from the fucking future then why is he so nervous? What's wrong man, is the jig up? Better get off the phone with the future and figure out a plan, cuz I am on to you. Then he did just that. He got off the phone. Right after I thought that. Could he read my mind? I had never even contemplated the idea that the time travellers would also be mind readers, but it all made sense now. So I began to think taunts at him. I thought things like "Hey, I know you can read my mind and I know you are from the future, so if you can hear me, scratch your nose." When he did not scratch his nose I began to think "Oh very clever motherfucker, but I am smarter than that, you can't fool me by not complying with my telepathic request." I went on like this for a solid ten minutes, all while never breaking my unblinking stare. He was getting so unbelievably nervous that I just knew I had him. I would be a legend, I would be the man from the past who figured it all out! Maybe he would take me back to the future with him based on this. Maybe I would then become a God! Maybe, oh my lord, maybe time is unchangeable and they already knew this would happen and I was the one in the future who told this guy to come back at this very moment so I may go to the future with him. This was all very deep and intellectually stimulating for me. I was to be a God. But first I had to let it be known for sure that I was the chosen one, the one the prophecies told of that would figure out the secret of the time travellers. I had also concluded there was an ancient prophecy about me and that I was to be a God. So I leaned forward and said, "I know what you are up to man." He looked at me and he was obviously shaken. I had him! He had to take me to the future. He said "What?" I said "That's right... I know" He said "Look man, I don't know you" I said "Don't play games, you are from the fucking future and you are studying us." By this point the people around me were all very interested in what I was saying. And rightly so, this was fascinating. As he looked at me his face began to become more and more horrified. So much so, that I knew it was no act to save his futuristic ass. He was genuinely horrified beyond belief. I began to contemplate this, too. I suddenly realized the truth. Oh my god. I really fucked up. I mean, HOLY SHIT, what was I doing? What in the world was I doing? Jesus Christ! I am a moron, so fucking stupid!!! I will NEVER live this down, EVER. He wasn't expecting me to be the one who figured out about the time travelers! He was clueless! And by figuring him out and talking to him, I changed the course of time! Everything after that point in association with me would be a tangent on the straight line of time! So I said "Tell the future I am sorry, I didn't mean to ruin everything!" and I ran off the El at the next stop. It wasn't until the weed wore off that I realized the real truth, which was that I was the crazy person on the El that I usually make fun of in my mind when they are talking their gibberish. That was the last time I smoked marijuana
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SneebDotCom: So I leaned forward and said, "I know what you are up to man." He looked at me and he was obviously shaken. I had him! He had to take me to the future. He said "What?" I said "That's right... I know" He said "Look man, I don't know you" I said "Don't play games, you are from the fucking future and you are studying us." By this point the people around me were all very interested in what I was saying. And rightly so, this was fascinating. As he looked at me his face began to become more and more horrified. So much so, that I knew it was no act to save his futuristic ass. He was genuinely horrified beyond belief. I began to contemplate this, too. I suddenly realized the truth. He wasn't expecting me to be the one who figured out about the time travelers! He was clueless! And by figuring him out and talking to him, I changed the course of time! Everything after that point in association with me would be a tangent on the straight line of time! So I said "Tell the future I am sorry, I didn't mean to ruin everything!" and I ran off the El at the next stop.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey man, sorry I played dumb when you started talking to me on the subway, but I didn't want you to blow my cover. Us time travelers get in a lot of trouble for that shit. I got in enough trouble just for being noticed by you. They sent someone back in time to ass rape my mother. Thanks a lot, you fucking whistle blower.
If wankers like this can spam the forum until the arse drops out of it, why can't the regular users???? I would like to promote this upcoming event with an old flyer from 1998.
was that worth reading?.. anyone? it was such a pain in the ass after canine posted that pic i never bothered.. if anyone thinks it's worth reading i guess i will..
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy: was that worth reading?.. anyone? it was such a pain in the ass after canine posted that pic i never bothered.. if anyone thinks it's worth reading i guess i will..<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> you remember when we had that forum called "Retards"? Its just like one of those inane ramblings... his webpage is the same useless bullshit... dont bother... If Iwas a mod, I would erase this thread
I don't know how the fuck anyone is expected to even finish that shitty paragraph. I don't even smoke pot, and I still don't have enough of an attention span to get through it.
A funny story why my cock ended up in your mouth. Do not come and post that shit anymore. I am the only one allowed to post shit that is not funny in this forum. Shit Im really not allowed but i am ignored and accepted. God damn im fucked up.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Matthew: I am the only one allowed to post shit that is not funny in this forum.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Don't be so hard on yourself. I laughed my ass off at your picture...
