I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of theground easily, it is a valuable plant. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy areplacement. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool whosaid "Quit while you're ahead?" Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person touse the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talksabout seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
