Subject: FW: 15 Pieces of Advice > >15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR DAUGHTERS > > > > 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. > > > > 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. > > > > 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them > > all up there. > > > > 4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out > > alone. > > > > 5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature > > anyway. > > > > 6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that > > you can tell them apart. > > > > 7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity > > to make some woman miserable. > > > > 8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the > > do-it-yourself types. > > > > 9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest he is too > > old for it. > > > > 10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. > > > > 11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. > > > > 12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 > > years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. > > > > 13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, > > tell him checkbooks. > > > > 14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him > > jokes, it means that you laugh at his. > > > > 15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
So this guy finds a magic lamp, rubs it (heh-heh) and is granted three wishes. The genie inside warns him, however, that anything he wishes for, his wife will get ten times as much or more. For his first wish, he asks to be the richest man alive. The genie tells him that this wish will make his wife ten times richer or more but he says that it doesn't matter because they're married and what's hers is his and what's his is hers anyway. POOF! He's rich. Second, he wishes to be the best looking man in the world. The genie tells him that his wife will be ten times as attractive, a virtual goddess. He says that he doesn't care because he will be the most attractive man in the world so who else is she going to want? POOF! He's handsome. For his third wish, he asks for a very mild heart attack...
Married woman, getting a bit of a seven year itch, decides to spice up her marriage. Pops along to her nearest Hardcore sex shop to see whats on offer... The Owner shows her a variety of whips, chains, rubber cocks and fists and the like- all very kosha but not tickling our little ladies pink, until she is shown round the clothing section. In particular, a pair of crotchless panties... 'yes!' she thinks that would be a great start... goes home, fucks cooking dinner off (lousey tramp), and lies on the bed waiting for her hubby. He gets in, no dinner. 'ey! where's ma dinnor!!' runs upstairs, she's there on the bed 'Here it is baby!' *spreads legs* 'go on!!! Tuck in!!! eat it all up!!!' he says, i'm not going near that thing... look what it's done to your nickers!!!'
