Urinals

Discussion in 'General Mayhem' started by Lomotil, Jun 13, 2001.

  1. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    I've posted this in FF, but I was curious as to the Fug response as well...

    Maybe this is just me, but I never use the urinal. I always go for a stall. This isn't some kind of homophobia, or a fear that someone with a 15 incher will come and piss right next to me, instead; it's more of a hygiene issue.

    It never fails, but every time I piss in the urinal, it always splashes back on my legs. The only time you really notice it is when you're wearing shorts, and it only takes one time to make you re-think your whole bathroom protocol. Not only have you effectively urinated on yourself, but you might as well go have a complete stranger douse you from the knees down...

    I've yet to find a urinal with a design that is 'sprinkle proof,' nor have I found a 'sweet spot' of which to aim for that doesn't give me a shower in return... Any other guys here share the same dilemma?
     
  2. Homewrecker

    Homewrecker New Member

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    <font size=6>?</font>
     
  3. I HATE NAGGERS

    I HATE NAGGERS New Member

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    I would like to say that I can relate, but I cannot. I avoid the stall at all costs, because anybody with a 6 inch dick or larger is going to invariably rub said dick on the seat, and perhaps catch some shit from said seat.
    Anybody with a 6 inch dick or larger can AIM their stream of piss into a urinal without fear of splatter/sprinkle..so continue to squat to piss brother...at your own risk.
     
  4. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    It's not aiming that's a problem, I think the sheer velocity of the piss as it's being excreted is the major issue here.

    Concerning the stalls... I never said I squatted, I too don't admire the thought of the virtual 'snoodle' with the toilet seat/porcelin any more than you do. If I don't care to get my own urine on my legs, what would make you think I'd sit on the seat and get someone else's piss and shit on my cheeks?
     
  5. kitana

    kitana New Member

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    5,555
    my brother got piss and water from the urinal at school, he had to go home and take a bath and change. it wasnt because piss splashed on him, when he flushed the urinal - i guess- exploded and water was all over the place.
     
  6. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    The source of my "firehose factor" :

     
  7. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    You know, you should be grateful for the simple fact that you can stand and pee. I don't know how many times I wished I could. I'm forced to use the stall. ('cept for that one time, but the toilet was really fucking nasty) I'll have you know that the majority of the womens' bathrooms are as equally disgusting, if not more, than the mens'. Of course you have the usual shit and piss all over the toilet and seat, (that's universal, I think) but we also have to worry about going into that stall, (that dreaded stall) were it looks like a fucking abortion was performed! Not to mention those "napkin disposal" thingys on the walls and (if there is a god, he fuckin' hates me) some stupid dirty whore always has to leave the damn thing open! I have to breath though the same hand I'm dry heaving into, while the other hand holds the fuckin' stall door closed! (Bear in mind that the stalls with the broken handle usually don't have as much excrement on the seat, but the stench from the aforementioned "napkin holder" is a helluva lot worse) Washing my hands seems like it's doing more harm than good, then I gotta wait for someone else to open the door so I can duck out without touching the handle, unless it's the kind you can just push, in that case, I give it a good karate kick and hope that some little kid is on the other side. That's about the only thing I have to look forward to while using public restrooms. Most of the time, I hold it.

    Anyway are you holding your urine too long, Lomotil? That would explain the great force... wait, I just thought of something. You actually care about getting a little piss on yourself! Isn't that a rare thing for a man? I must say, I'm impressed! Good luck!

    Malt liquor, eh?

    [ June 14, 2001: Message edited by: Nauseous ]
     
  8. Cheezedawg

    Cheezedawg Guest

    You can piss standing up Nauseous. I know plenty of girls who do. I've watched them do it too so I know it's possible. You just have to learn the art of it.
     
  9. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    Thanks for the vote of confidence, Naus... The reason piss on my leg bothers me so much is probably because I only shower once a week at the most... Stale piss tends to leave a distinctive odor, probably akin to the stench of 'the box' in the women's room.

    Oh, and make no mistake: I am grateful that I am equipped to stand and piss at the same time. I love being a man for the simple fact that the whole world is our urinal, so to speak.

    And yes, malt liquor. 7.3% alcohol content in a convienent 'take-home' size. Maybe I should just start pissing in the empties when I really need to go...? That'd be a challenge, trying to keep the piss from running down the side of the glass when you're aiming for the tiny hole...
     
  10. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,886
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cheezedawg:
    You can piss standing up Nauseous. I know plenty of girls who do. I've watched them do it too so I know it's possible. You just have to learn the art of it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    What? What kind of "girls" do you hang out with Cheezedawg?

    and Lomo... you bathe once a week? How many times do you use the urinal?

    Pissing in a bottle... you're making me envious of you again.
     
  11. PinkorBrown69

    PinkorBrown69 New Member

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    You could always get yourself a colostomy bag Lomo. That'll solve the problem for ya.
     
  12. kitana

    kitana New Member

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    thats only for taking a shit
     
  13. NoOpinion

    NoOpinion New Member

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    It is an art and one that i have yet to master. Your biggest enemy is the stink puck.
    You hit that goddamnd puck and ur sure to come out dripping. Also if u shoot at such an angle u hit the back of the urinal parallel to yourself ur not only gonna get yourself drenched you will get any queer fuck that stands next to you as well. Picture this in your head, ideal urinal conditions. Ok so there is a hole at the bottom of the thing to let it drain, on top of that there is a plastic grate and on top of that is the stink puc. Now if u find a urinal that has that plastic grate a bit off center and u can piss directly into the hole you have found everymans dream....the ideal urinal. Not that i really care i piss in the soap dispenser anyways.
     
  14. Erik_The_Red

    Erik_The_Red New Member

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    You're all so hillarious
     
  15. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nauseous:
    and Lomo... you bathe once a week? How many times do you use the urinal?

    Pissing in a bottle... you're making me envious of you again.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Yeah, about once a week, but only that often because it tends to get so hot during the summer. Normally, I only bathe once a month or so...

    Sweat: The natural bath

    As far as pissing goes, often. I've got the urinary capacity of a two-year-old after a gallon of apple juice.
     
  16. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    And when I say 'capacity' I'm not referring to the size. It's a little closer to a five-year-old's.
     
  17. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,886
    Hmmmm... so your genitals are like that of a 5 year-old alcoholics?!?
     
  18. PinkorBrown69

    PinkorBrown69 New Member

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    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitana:
    thats only for taking a shit<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    You can also get ones that 'Take the piss' aswell, can't you?
     
  19. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,886
    Yes, they're called catheters. You were close, dear.
     
  20. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nauseous:
    Hmmmm... so your genitals are like that of a 5 year-old alcoholics?!?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Nah, more like an excited 5 year-old alcoholic with liver cancer.
     

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