Ohhhhh some old american guy who spent too much time in the sun..... such a great loss. Was he a comedian?
Yeah, he was an old school, one liner kind of comedian. He also creeped the country out as Malory's dad in Natural Born Killers [/img]
I would just like to take this moment to thank Rodney for a point he scored me (he was on my deadpool).
We're kind of a crappy society to place bets on who's gonna die next. I'm NOT very eloquent right now. I feel bad for anyone who has just passed. I guess it's because it reminds you that we're all going to fucking die, some sooner than others... and worse than that, we are going to have to watch our loved ones die around us. That's why sometimes I wish a meteor would just come and take the earth out, so we all die together.... really fucking fast... and I hope that I'm not at work when it happens. Seriously, I know we're going to be dead, but who wants someone scrubbing your naked body? If you opt to have a funeral (I don't want one, don't want an autopsy either, I just want to be burned) this is what your body has to look forward to: [/i]STEP 1- Pre-Embalming Prep First, funeral home personnel lay the remains out on a stainless steel or porcelain embalming table (see picture above), not unlike those used for an autopsy. They then remove all of the clothing off the remains, and either clean and return them to the next of kin or destroy them as they would do with any bedclothes that accompany the remains. Next, funeral home personnel carefully inventory any jewelry, usually taping or tying rings in place , so they do not disappear. Other jewelry and glasses are removed during embalming and then replaced on the remains. There are several methods of closing the mouth. The prime consideration is to have the lips meet naturally. If the mouth is closed too loosely, the funeral director cannot produce a pleasant look, and if the mouth is closed too tightly, the area under the nose puckers, giving the upper lip a distinctly unnatural expression, sometimes appearing to scowl at the mourners. The funeral director will occasionally widen the lower lip to improve a face's appearance. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- STEP 2- Preparation The funeral director cleans the remains surface with a disinfectant spray or solution by sponging it onto the remains. Next, the funeral director positions the remains. He relieves rigor mortis (the stiffening of muscle tissue due to chemical change) by flexing, bending and massaging the arms and legs. Then he or she will move the limbs to a suitable position, usually with the legs extended and arms at the sides. To begin the embalming process, which is the removal of blood, and replacing it with a formaldehyde based fluid, a small incision is usually made on the remains right side of the lower neck. It is at this position that two of the largest circulatory vessels are located. The carotid artery and the jugular vein. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- STEP 3- Embalming Process Incisions are made in both vessels, and a tube connected to the the embalming fluid pump is placed into the carotid artery, Another tube is placed into the jugular vein, this is called a drain tube. The basic theory is to pump embalming fluid into the artery, and this will cause the blood to return through the veins and flow outside the remains for disposal. Approximately 3 gallons of a mixture of fluid and water are circulated through the remains for thorough disinfection and preservation to take place. In most cases, this will be the only point of injection of the embalming fluid. There are times when clots and other factors stop the flow of fluid throughout out the whole system, and at these times, other points of injection are necessary in order to do a complete and thorough embalming. There are many factors which go into the process, which cannot be explained here due to space limitations, but some of the factors that the funeral director must assess before embalming are the mode of death, the weight of the remains, the general overall condition of the remains, any disease associated with the remains, etc. These factors determine the types and strengths of fluids used, and the type of embalming necessary to complete the task. Many fluids have a slight dye added to them, which gives the remains a pinkish glow, and also acts as a guide for the funeral director, making it visible for him to see the fluid as it travels through the remains. This type of embalming is known as arterial embalming. A commonly asked question at this point is: What do you do with the blood you remove from the body? Once the blood mixes with the embalming chemicals, it becomes basically harmless. The laws allow us to put the blood down the normal sanitary sewer drains in the preparation room sink as it does not pose a health risk. The next step, called cavity embalming, is the application of full strength fluid to the internal organs of the remains. A small incision is made just above the navel, and a long needle called a trocar is placed inside the abdominal and thoracic cavities of the remains. The funeral director aspirates both the abdominal and thoracic cavities. Aspiration is the removal of blood and other bodily fluids, through suction. A suction pump, either water or electric powered is used to remove these fluids. The trocar is then attached to a gravity fed system, which caused full strength fluid to be put into each organ, causing a more thorough disinfection and preservation of the remains All incisions are then sutured closed.. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- STEP 4- Washing The funeral director then washes the remains with cool water, often adding a soapy, germicidal solution containing bleach to kill viruses and bacteria. He or she then cleans the fingernails, uses solvents to remove any stains on the remains, and applies other chemicals to remove scaling on the hands and face. Blood in the hair is removed with washing and chemicals. The funeral director then washes the hair. funeral directors may do this either before or after embalming; Hairdressing is normally done after embalming has been completed. Any hair stubble on the remains is shaved with a razor. Facial hair and any visible nose hair are removed from all bodies, including those of women and children who may have excess facial hair because of medications they received, or because they have downy hair on their upper lips and cheeks. Ear hairs are sometimes removed and any unsightly facial hairs are removed or trimmed. funeral directors must be careful with beards and mustaches, since once accidentally removed, they can be difficult to properly replace. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- STEP 5- Dressing and Casketing The fifth and final step is dressing and casketing of the remains. Using the clothes provided by the family, or purchased through the funeral home, the funeral director proceeds to dress the remains. It is common to use a full set of clothing, including underwear, socks or stockings, and sometime even shoes if so desired. Once dressed the funeral director will begin the cosmetizing of the face and hands of the remains. Usually a special mortuary cosmetic is used, although store bought cosmetics may be used also. This is the true art of the funeral director. It is through the proper application of cosmetics, that a more life-like presentation will be made. Too much or too little cosmetics have a definite affect on the appearance of the remains. Proper coloring must be determined, and the cosmetics adjusted as such. The final step in the preparation of the remains is to place the remains in a casket. Adjustments to clothing, touching up of hair and cosmetics and properly fixing the interior of the casket. This final step is usually very time consuming and must be done properly. This is the results of all the other work combined. The funeral director tries to pose both the head and hands in a life-like position, and finishes up his work by making everything look tidy and uniform.[/i] It's gross and seems so pointless... just so people can see your dressed up corpse. (Corpse is such an ugly word, btw)
I vote for cremation. For my own corpse I mean, but really, I don't give a shit what they do, as I'll be dead.
rodney dangerfield.....i was going to come in here and post something like....i hate every one making rodney dangerfield threads... but it totally freaked me out that he is dead now.......DAMN!!!
i got a dead pool going too! creepy as you think it may be, we have nothing to do with the actual death. we simply record it to win cash and prizes. nothing wrong with that is there?
Karma. To celebrate someone dying with cash and prizes seems to be like trivializing someone's existance.
hey pukey thanks for the description of the preperation process,wanna know something even creepier? This girl that works with me has a second job doing that at a funeral home and the crazy shit is that the bitch takes her kids to work with her so they can help with the deceased's makeup. :shock:
