French Wankers

Several years ago the United States funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.

The study took two years and cost over $180,000. The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, Germany decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the US study were incorrect. After three years of research and costs in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the women with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the German study were released, France decided to conduct their own study. The French didn't trust the US or German studies. So after nearly three weeks of intensive research at a cost of around $75, the French study reached a conclusion.

They came to the final conclusion that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

 

Ha ha... solid joke.

-A drunk guy was showing some friends around his new apartment, and when they got to his room they saw a gong sitting beside his bed. "What's the gong for?" one of his friends asked.
"Oh, that's not a gong, it's a talking clock," said the drunk.
"Really? Show us how it works," said his friend.
The drunk picked up a mallet and smashed the gong with it, making an ear shattering crash. From behind the wall, a man yelled, "JESUS CHRIST, YOU IDIOT, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!? IT'S 3 30 IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!!!"

 

i fucking hate the french

 

why u hate the french?

 

France's idea of fighting involves stealing the nearest pair of specs and shouting "Not the face! Not the face!" whilst adopting the fetal position.

 

Plenty of good things have come out of France, such as cannon fodder rofl jk. Besides, you can't blame them for not wanting to help the neonazi George W. bush in an invasion...knowing him he would have put them in the front ranks to be used as cannon fodder. So many people say they "hate" the french, without providing any reasons besides the fact that they don't want to be a part of a mutilation against human rights. Well...I guess it's kinda normal...if you hear enough people saying they hate something, you start to hate it too...Oh...wait...sorry...that's what SHEEP do. My bad for assuming that people have their own brains.

 

I was right with ya up until the "My bad" part.......I need to smack you for those two words alone. I completely agree with you on the point....but those words........
:wink:

 

they are good at fucking. and making champagne. and cheese. and perfume. and thats it.

 

AHAHAHA ya I've always tended to use old expressions beyond the point where they were dead...Oh well.

 

You forgot cigarettes. And berets.

 

I assumed the French would be capable of going with us into Iraq so they could be there to instruct the Iraqis on how to surrender.

 

ok, might as well add pastry, they suck at ratatouille. bleh!

 

Poodles

Oh wait, i mean't Puddles. :twisted:

 

:roll: omg, you're dumber than i am.

 

also french kissing, french toast,french fries, french letters,ooh la la! 8)

i found this article about the the whole anti-french thing quite interesting but then im a very sad person.

Freedom fries was a short-lived name used in the United States for french fries. The "freedom fries" affair was an unusual example of anti-French sentiment in the United States.

Throughout the international debates prior to the 2003 invasion of Iraq, France expressed opposition to the US insistence on military action.

On March 11, 2003, Representatives Robert W. Ney and Walter Jones declared that all references to "french fries" and "French toast" on the menus of the restaurants and snack bars run by the House of Representatives would be removed. House cafeterias were ordered to re-name french fries as "freedom fries". This action was carried out without a congressional vote, under the authority of Congressman Ney's position as Chairman of the Committee on House Administration, which oversees restaurant operations in the house.

According to a statement released by Ney, this move was a symbolic effort to express displeasure with France's "continued refusal to stand with their U.S. allies" (see Iraq disarmament crisis). The statement further read: "This action today is a small, but symbolic, effort to show the strong displeasure many on Capitol Hill have with our so-called ally, France."

The French embassy made no comment, except to note that French fries are Belgian. "We are at a very serious moment dealing with very serious issues and we are not focusing on the name you give to potatoes," said Nathalie Loisau, an embassy spokeswoman.

Congressmen Ney and Jones, however, were not the first to re-name french fries as freedom fries. A number of private restaurants across the country started the renaming movement. Neal Rowland, owner of a privately owned fast-food restaurant Cubbie's in Beaufort, North Carolina, decided to sell his fried potato strips under the name "freedom fries." Rowland claimed that his intent was not to slight the French people, but to be patriotic and support President George W. Bush. Many of Rowland's customers were among the local military troops.

The word play is reminiscent of anti-German sentiment during the First World War in which sauerkraut was renamed liberty cabbage, and hamburgers were transformed into liberty steaks. (Even the German measles got a new name: liberty measles.) This similarity is intentional: Rowland described a conversation about these renamed foods during World War I as the inspiration for "freedom fries."

Prior to World War I, Americans widely referred to french toast as German toast. This food, too, was briefly renamed "freedom toast."

Despite the symbolic change, it did not take hold in any meaningful way. Many Americans refer to french fries simply as fries, so the leading adjective is largely ignored anyway. Previous attempts to rename food during wartime have been largely unsuccessful, with one notable exception being the change of frankfurter to hot dog during World War II, although frankfurter is still recognized, but not commonly used.

French kissing, French poodles, and French dip sandwiches were not renamed freedom kissing, freedom poodles, freedom dip sandwiches; however, French's (makers of mustard, french fried onions, and other foods) was sufficiently concerned to issue a press release affirming its patriotism.


Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierté le French kiss!
(Eat French fries, but above all, be proud and French kiss!) :!:

 

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
I'd tell you to go fuck yourself and the horse you rode in on, but looking at that stupid grin on your face, I'd say you already have.

 

Ratatouille;
Is a southern French dish made from eggplant,
zucchini, onions, peppers, tomatoes, and garlic.

Your profile states that you are into;

Oculolinctus;
The act (or art) of licking someone's eyeball for sexual arousal; some people get a great deal of pleasure from haveing their eyeball licked.

Just be sure not to eat anything spicy before you and your gay lover try it out.

Cruel shoes;

Do they have room for your toe Piercings?

Foot licking lesbians;

Don't you mean, Foot licking Homo's?

Ass;
Do you sniff your gay lover on a regular basis or, only when when he has finished licking your eyeball that is deep in your own ass?

No wonder why the French stink! :twisted:

 

my profile states no such thing. its listed as an interest.

again, you are dumber than i am.

no i dont. i am fully aware of the difference. now you're just fucking stupid.

i'm not French. if my lover was gay, i dont think he's be tounging any part of me. you seem to know quite a bit about homosexual activities. perhaps you've had some experience.

 

ahh, yes...the french allies...that directly translates too "The US government gives you absolutely nothing (unless we're taking your money while fucking you in the ass at the same time) and in return, as "our french allies" you need to send as much of your military force wherever we point our finger. You see...France has nothing to offer the us government, therefore making a huge mockery of them in front of the entire world is ok. Canada, however( seeing as it's so close, naturally) has a sort of simbiotic relationship with the us. New England's power supply comes from Quebec. One of the major Oil diposits in the world was discovered my Canadians, off of the shores of Newfoundland, Livestock (not so much anymore) these are just a few examples, and I haven't even mentioned the people that go to work for the United States of America, after using up Canadian Government dollars to get a Canadian education. In any case, to wrap up my point, when we said "no" to sending our troops as allies to the americans, bush was just pissed, but didn't make a huge mockery of us.