Let me start out by saying that I really hate that fucking show. It was such a waste of time. The only reason I ever watched it was because of my obsession with Mark-Paul Gosselaar, which took nearly 2 years of steady counseling to overcome. Anyway, I posted this on a site called, Who Would You Kill? several months back, and for some reason saved it, now I want to share it with you. With all the recent long posts, I thought I'd join in and take up some space. If you aren't that familiar with the show, let me fill you in on who's who. Jessie was the manly-looking bitch who starred in that big flop of a movie Showgirls. Kelly was the cheerleader bitch, who also played in 90210 for a while.(Big fucking surprise) Slater was the wet-back spic, and I can't think of another damn thing he was in. Lisa was the little niggette who tried to act white. Again, I'm drawing a blank on what she did after the show. Zack was the pretty little white boy with the inhuman ability to stop time. Remember? He did that "time-out" thing? Mr. Belding was the pricipal, and Screech was the geek. Finally... the last episode. Jessie and Kelly are leaving Lisa out of yet another outing to the mall. Lisa, distraught over the girl’s rejection, decides to call Slater and reveal Kelly and Jessie’s deepest secret… that Kelly has herpes and that Jessie is a dyke. She calls. He answers on the first ring. She breaks the news. He’s not surprised. After all, he's the one that gave Kelly herpes, and everyone knows that Jessie is a dyke. Lisa and Slater decide to meet for lunch at The Max. When they get there, they find Zack and Screech playing a spirited game of “hide the hotdog”. They agree on a table away from them, by the window. A group of south-side skinheads show up. Of course they target this place because of the nigger and spic sitting in the window. They bust into The Max, grab Zack by his puny white throat and smash his head repeatedly on the table. Zack goes limp. Screech tries to run, but they grab him by his afro and force him on his knees. They take turns sodomizing him, then slash his throat. Slater tries to help his friend, but gets stabbed 47 times. Lisa pleads for her life, but the "South-side Heads" only laugh. They pick her up and carry her to the french frier. They boil her face and most of her body, piss on her, and then shoot her execution-style. Fearing the police must be on their way, the skinheads bust ass back to the car and speed off. In the skinhead’s haste, they aren’t paying much attention to the road and go veer left of center, striking the oncoming vehicle. Guess who’s in that vehicle? Jessie and Kelly! And guess what? They aren’t wearing their seatbelts! They are ejected through the windshield and die on Mr. Belding’s front lawn. Belding, already feeling like shit because he still lives with his mother and now has no students at his stupid school, shoots himself.
I remember that piece of shit show. Slater went on to play in Pacific Blue and Lisa is now dead. But she was in that movie "How To Be A Playa"
After a bit of research I found that Lisa is not dead (just wishful thinking on the part of Cheesedawg). She is, in fact, now filming a movie called "How High" due out in 2002 that I'm sure you guys will be waiting in line to see.
i agree that show sucked stinky cock, along with all the other stupid shows about friendship, popularity, and school.
What's most fucked up about that show is the fact that these kids wouldn't have hung out in my high school. NBC must have thought that sugar-coating high school life would made a successful show. The Zack Morris-types weren't friends with the Screech-types. The Slater-types would have been ripping off rims in the parking lot and smoking in the bathroom. The Kelly-types would have been knocked up by tenth grade. The Lisa-types would have been in private schools, and the Jessie-types... damn... hopefully would have shot themselves in the school bathroom ala Claude from "Degrassi High". Oh shit! There's another show. Of course, I actually liked "Degrassi". The Canadians knew what they were doing with pre-teen/teen shows. Except for "Street Cents", that show just fucking sucked. Did anyone ever watch a Canadian show called. "Northwood"? I don't get to see it anymore because I doubt that CBC still shows re-runs of it and futhermore, I don't have CBC. I guess it's just as well, 'cause I was starting to develop an obsession for Tygh Runyan... it coulda turned into another 2 years of counseling.
Dont they have the saved by the colostomy bag series now with Zach gumming his food and his women...and that whore kelly squeezing her titties and putting cheese on crackers..Yea thats it their in a nursing home.
The only reason that show ever existed was because Ricky Schroder's voice changed and they had to cancel Silver Spoons. I think it had to do with some sort of age limit in his Tiger Beat contract.
