George Bush met The Queen, and he turns round and says: "As I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom." The Queen replies "I'm sorry Mr Bush, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King." George Bush thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?" To which the Queen replied "Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince - and you're not a Prince, Mr Bush". Bush thought long and hard and came up with "How about an Empire then?" The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replies "Sorry again, Mr Bush, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge - and you are not an Emperor." Before George Bush could utter another word, The Queen said: "I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country".
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a litre of low-fat milk, a carton of eggs, a litre of orange juice, a head of lettuce, a 500gm jar of coffee, and a 250gm pack of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. He said, "You must be single." The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict's intuition, looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're fucking ugly."
That first one was funny! Sad that it's so TRUE! Second wasn't too bad...I've only heard it a few times...and you did tell it right. Good job!
That's because I'm the greatest joke teller in the world. Q. What's better than winning three gold medals in the special olympics? A. Being able to walk. You are all dead to me. For i am darkness and misery. No human warmth imparts from this black place...my soul - for i travel these plains of existence living in the shadows, with no twinkles of earthly joy to illumine the way. By the way, i'm 15, blue eyes, dyed black hair, music i'm currently into - rotted garbage, industrial cleaner and death rectum...any hot goth chicks wanna chat?
