IQ test

Discussion in 'Jokes, Funny Stories and other Text.' started by Luc, Sep 13, 2003.

  1. Luc

    Luc New Member

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    1
    1. What do you put in a toaster?


    Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.


    2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?


    Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World." If you said, "water" then proceed to question 3.


    3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?


    Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions????? If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.


    4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately, the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?


    Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.


    5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?


    Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.


    6. Without using a calculator-You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Sweden, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get in. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?


    Answer: Oh, for fuck sake! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!


     
  2. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    10,267
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Luc:
    5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?


    Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    If you have a clock whose hour hand moves only one degree every hour, then it's time to stop posting questions 'out of your league' and buy a new fucking clock. An hour hand of any properly functioning clock should travel 30 degrees every hour.

    You do the fucking math.
     
  3. GreenAppleSplatters

    GreenAppleSplatters New Member

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    2,080
    That guy is giving people with the first 3 letters of their name LUC a bad name. He should be banned.....forever.
     
  4. Matthew

    Matthew New Member

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    722
    I say if your clock moves any degrees get off your cheap ass and buy a digital clock.
     
  5. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    10,267
    To some extent I can agree with you, but I'd still love to have a fuckin' nice grandfather clock. Hell, I even want a fucking cookoo clock.

    [ 09-16-2003: Message edited by: Lomo's Haus of Audio-Video Bliss ]
     
  6. jimmy_jackoff

    jimmy_jackoff New Member

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    Made me feel stupid!
     
  7. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

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    11,130
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jimmy_jackoff:
    Made me feel stupid!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    You just standing there breathing, makes you look stupid...
     
  8. murcielago

    murcielago New Member

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    4
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lomo's Haus of Audio-Video Bliss:
    If you have a clock whose hour hand moves only one degree every hour, then it's time to stop posting questions 'out of your league' and buy a new fucking clock. An hour hand of any properly functioning clock should travel 30 degrees every hour.

    You do the fucking math.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    sorry genious, but what he did was make it so that it was 1/60th of a degree every minute, so therefore after 10 minutes it would be 10/60 or 1/6 and after 50 minuites it would be 50/60 or 5/6 and after 60 minuites it would be 60/60 or 1 degree. However cows do drink milk, why else would they make it?

    [ 09-28-2003: Message edited by: murcielago ]

    [ 09-28-2003: Message edited by: murcielago ]
     
  9. SirFragselot

    SirFragselot New Member

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    cows didn't fucking evolve to produce milk for HUMAN consumption.
     
  10. stymie

    stymie New Member

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    534
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by murcielago:
    sorry genious, but what he did was make it so that it was 1/60th of a degree every minute, so therefore after 10 minutes it would be 10/60 or 1/6 and after 50 minuites it would be 50/60 or 5/6 and after 60 minuites it would be 60/60 or 1 degree. However cows do drink milk, why else would they make it?

    [ 09-28-2003: Message edited by: murcielago ]

    [ 09-28-2003: Message edited by: murcielago ]
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Two edits and it's still utter bollocks. I presume english is your second language?
     
  11. murcielago

    murcielago New Member

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    4
    no, im afraid its my first language, maybe you should have stayed in school past 4th grade, so you could learn how to read properly. Freaking british
     
  12. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

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    why are you arguing even though you're wrong? have you ever seen a clock?
     
  13. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

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    7,211
    and calves drink milk
     
  14. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

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    7,211
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy:
    why are you arguing even though you're wrong? have you ever seen a clock?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    actually..(re-reads original question) you're right... we're all assuming it's a real clock rather than the imaginary clock that's in the quizmasters® head
     
  15. murcielago

    murcielago New Member

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    lol, nice triple post. TOok me a while to figure it out too.
     
  16. SirFragselot

    SirFragselot New Member

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    Ok, so humans don't drink human milk, only children do?
     
  17. murcielago

    murcielago New Member

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    well, that is the one question that is flaud, unless you say that only calves drink milk, but they are still cows, dunno. He was just trying to trick you, if it worked it worked, it was kinda funny.
     
  18. SirFragselot

    SirFragselot New Member

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    10
    i know, i was just bullshitting for the sake of argument i guess.
     
  19. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

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    10,267
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PimpDaddy:
    actually..(re-reads original question) you're right... we're all assuming it's a real clock rather than the imaginary clock that's in the quizmasters® head<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Which reaffirms my original post: Time to buy a new (properly functioning) fucking clock...
     
  20. silvervendetta

    silvervendetta New Member

    Messages:
    5
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lomo's Haus of Audio-Video Bliss:
    If you have a clock whose hour hand moves only one degree every hour, then it's time to stop posting questions 'out of your league' and buy a new fucking clock. An hour hand of any properly functioning clock should travel 30 degrees every hour.

    You do the fucking math.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    This man is Officially my new Hero. I love you man...
    Ven
     

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