Jake was on his deathbed. His wife, Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, and tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling Susan," he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Don't talk." He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must confess to you." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan. "Everything's all right, go to sleep." "No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend, and your mother." "I know," she replied. "That's why I poisoned you." ____________________________________________ A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, and then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, he's dead." _____________________________________________ DEAR REDNECK SON, I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week, the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends ran off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened. Love, Mom P. S. I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed. ******************************************8 You know you're a redneck when ya go to family reunions to pick up chicks. Well that's it, my 1st post, hope ya like em.
that secound joke about 911 SUCKed ass SARS would be too good.. I hope you get mad cow desise that way you be mroe funny
The ironic thing is that Canada now has both SARS and Mad Cow Disease...so really devdev is more likely to catch both out of any person in this forumn...dumb fucking immigrant, where were you born if not in Canada cunt?
Made me waste precious time reading his dumb fuckhead posts that I could have used to keep fucking your mother
Slayer of Pygmy Babies : tum tum, tum tum tum "This is a story about your mom" tum tum, tum tum um. early morning, she wakes up. Knock Knock Knock Knock on the door. Time for makeup, Perfect smile. It's who shes been waiting for isn't she ugly? your fat mother? she so ugly, she is a star but she fucks, fucks, fucks in the back seat of a car, Thinking that there is nothing missing in her life, then why is she sucking off my dog? ... blah
syria? shit dev dev is a sand nigger... I wouldn't have guessed that one... If I was Canadian, I would report him to the proper authorties, as a Taliban sympathiser/ supporter
Remove the moose fuckhead syrup coated sand from your eyes and notice that I am not from America...I mean shit, how blatant can <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote Be? Maybe you should go visit your dad at Guantanimo bay little boy, he mises you, he loves the way you squirm for him. Meikle....enough with the goddamn McDownloads! it was a dumb fucking joke and now it is an annoying, annoying line!
oh sweet merciful crap, so ontop of choosing to live in Candada, he is a jewish, syrian.... the allready huge list of things you can give out about just got 10 times as long....
