why the hell are we all here?

Discussion in 'Jokes, Funny Stories and other Text.' started by spiderwoman, Dec 8, 2002.

  1. Darkgroovey

    Darkgroovey New Member

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    436
    or you could go this way, he is almost there but you have got have moxy to do it this way
     
  2. Nursey

    Nursey Super Moderator

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    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by why_is_it_so_fucking_hard:

    I'll make sure i do it right so that i dont end up being cared for by someone like you!

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Yeah, that's the idea.
     
  3. spiderwoman

    spiderwoman New Member

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    11
    lol, I think I want to go a little more dignified than that!

    Committing suicide is a big step in a persons life you know. You've only got one shot, so I want it to be memorable.

     
  4. Nursey

    Nursey Super Moderator

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    I'm bored of this thread now, so all that's left really is for me to wish you good luck!
     
  5. spiderwoman

    spiderwoman New Member

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    Why thanks Nursey maybe your not so bad after all.

    Hey you've just inspired me, before I go I'll invent the DEATH SHOP where people can come in and buy "good luck on your death" cards then "congratulations on your suicide". And I'll also sell great stuff to commit suicide with, & give tips and ideas for the best most extravagant ways to go...

     
  6. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

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    you're hardly fucking qualified to advise people on "the best way to go".. 23 hours after the self-pitying post that started this thread (after asking advice on "the best way to go") you're still fucking here
     
  7. Darkgroovey

    Darkgroovey New Member

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    436
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by why_is_it_so_fucking_hard:
    Why thanks Nursey maybe your not so bad after all.

    Hey you've just inspired me, before I go I'll invent the DEATH SHOP where people can come in and buy "good luck on your death" cards then "congratulations on your suicide". And I'll also sell great stuff to commit suicide with, & give tips and ideas for the best most extravagant ways to go...

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    for christs sake already, do it live on the net put up the address of your web cam so we can all watch you "do the deed" and then send your mother congrats on your sons sucide cards from your store. cause if if i have to come down there it's not really sucicide it's just gonna look that way...
     
  8. FredVegas

    FredVegas New Member

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    1,096
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by why_is_it_so_fucking_hard:
    I owe my great ass to pizza, dunno what to insure, the ass or the pizza. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Post pics.
    ...oh yeah, btw, cheer up. I won't be able to jerk off to pics of your ass, which I just know you'll post, if you continue to be so unhappy. And if I can't jerk off, then I'll be unhappy, too.
    Here's a short list of priorities for ya:
    1. Get nekked
    2. Take various photos
    3. Post photos here
    4. Give me oral pleasure
    5. Give me more oral pleasure

    Once you accomplish those tasks, you'll be instantly happy...I promise. Don't believe me? Take a look at some dramatic before and after shots of some of my other clients:

    <---- before giving me head
    <---- after giving me head

    <---- before I landed the money shot
    <---- after the money shot

    <---- before
    <---- after

    Proof positive that true happiness can be achieved by sucking my dick... <---- future you
     
  9. djdev

    djdev New Member

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    you can make the point of life whatever you want it to be... its all up to you...

    on another note, I'd like to see some naked pics of your ass.. that would make me so happy
     
  10. chester grape

    chester grape New Member

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    Anyone know if why_is_it_so_fucking_hard is dead yet?
     
  11. miami1417blowme!~*~!

    miami1417blowme!~*~! New Member

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    is anyone still on here?????? 2:50am
     
  12. miami1417blowme!~*~!

    miami1417blowme!~*~! New Member

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    ok apparently not i was just gonna ask a question
     
  13. Superbeast

    Superbeast New Member

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    Oh nothing bothers me more than this. First Nursery, FUCK YOU! You have absolutely no right to bust the dudes chops because you never have had it as worse as it gets. I know what the fuck im talkin bout cause MY WHOLE ENTIRE CHILDHOOD LIFE WAS HELL. Imagine, your dad is a drunk ass bastard that hits women and steals his wifes money when he finds it. Imagine your Mother has a gambling problem and you have to starve for 2 days because the stupid bitch spent your child support on Lottery tickets and Slot machines. Imagine that your whole childhood life evolves around waiting to see your father who works all the time just so you can get a fucking bite to eat. Imagine almost cutting your foot off and waking your mother up who has a fucking hang over and can barely drive you to the hospital thats 20 miles away. Which Brings me to my second point. Dude, i know that the world is fucked up. Things are stolen, people get fucked over by insurance agents, children starve becuase their mother is an addict, and people still get STD's from their cheating girlfriend. The list is 10x larger then that. My point is that no matter what the fuck you do, there is not a damn thing you can do short of stealing Nuclear Silos and causing another World War. Just live your life. Go to work, and if you dont like your job, get fired or quit. Go home eat, fuck your girlfriend in the ass take one good shit before you go to bed. On your off days party as hard as you can. Take up snowboarding or ski lessons, do something to dull your mind off of how bad everyone in this world is getting fucked by the upper 1% Dont kill yourself just cause you dont like the world you live in. Have fun in anyway you can. And if the only way for you to have fun is to get shit-faced and stoned by all means if it dulls the pain of fucking world, do it. Hope you change your mind about ending it.
     
  14. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

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    7,211
    why the fuck would i want to imagine what it was like to be a loser kid with loser parents?.. empathy? fuck that shit
     
  15. Nursey

    Nursey Super Moderator

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    7,378
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Superbeast:
    Oh nothing bothers me more than blahhhh. I know what the fuck im talkin bout cause uhhhhhhh blah. Imagine, blah blah blah and steals his wifes blah blah. Imagine your blah blah Lottery tickets and etc. Imagine that your whole blahhhhhhhh...blahhhhhhhh. Imagine almost blah ahhh blahhhhh. Which Brings me to my second point.

    {'The Circle of Life' from the Lion King starts to play}

    Dude,{points...tracing horizon with finger} <<<i know>>> that the world is fucked up. Things are stolen, people get fucked over by insurance agents, children starve becuase their mother is an addict, and people still get STD's from their cheating girlfriend. blahblahblah. Go home eat, fuck your girlfriend in the ass take one good shit before you go to bed. On your off days party as hard as you can. Take up snowboarding or ski lessons, do something to dull your mind off of how bad everyone in this world is getting fucked by the upper 1% Dont kill yourself just cause you dont like the world you live in. Have fun in anyway you can. And if the only way for you to have fun is to get shit-faced and stoned by all means if it dulls the pain of fucking world, do it. Hope you change your mind about ending it.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    You're a bit fucking late! I pm'd why_is_it_so_fucking_hard instructions on how to slash her wrists...(properly)...including the best position to lie in in order to insure the greatest, fastest amount of blood loss, and guess what? I haven't heard from her since!!! Lot's of people said 'FUCK YOU NURSERY' when they heard this, but me? I jumped into my convertible and popped off to do a bit of designer shopping, had my hair styled, then off for coke and cocktails at Lance, my hairdresser's house for the rest of the evening watching squeaky voiced adolescent boys dressed in togas getting illegally sodomised by large bearded middle aged men and learning to love it. Does this upset you? Go off on your stupid fucking snowboard, huff some gas and buttfuck your girlfriend then! See? Problem solved. If that doesn't work, pm me for further instructions.
     
  16. Superbeast

    Superbeast New Member

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    6
    What the fuck is wrong with you? Were you hit in the head too many times? Do you not care that someone could take thier life? You see, she has come to a point in her life where she sees no end to a world of torment because she doesnt care about anyone or anything thats in it. People try to fuck you over hard, ok, but its no way to end it by slitting your fucking wrists, or hanging yourself, or shooting yourself in the fucking head. Its no way to end your mental suffering. If she really is suicidal, I suggest she comes to godamn terms with her fucking problems so she can shave off some of that hate. In fact she probably might have offed herself because you told her she should. I hope you can live your life knowing that you told someone to die and they did. You need some help my friend, serious mental health if you get off on hurting other people. I am truly disturbed that you have the moronic ability to bash on someone that you dont even hardly know.So Fuck you Nursey, I hope you godamn die, I hope that some serial-killer finds you in an alley rapes you and kills you. I hope you get cancer and die a slow and painful death
     
  17. unlimited-time

    unlimited-time Active Member

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    3,352
    ooooooooooo someones got thier knickers in a twist.
    Just think if she has killed herself that leaves a little bit more oxygen for the rest of us.
     
  18. NameYouWant

    NameYouWant New Member

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    61
    Who really cares if someone is going to kil them selves? There are 6.5 billion fucking people on this earth and we don't need suicidal fucking drama queens attracting sympathy from those who take this shit seriously. If they are going to kill themselves, let them, doubt they have the nerve to do it anyway.
     
  19. Icare

    Icare New Member

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    240
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Superbeast:
    So Fuck you Nursey, I hope you godamn die, I hope that some serial-killer finds you in an alley rapes you and kills you. I hope you get cancer and die a slow and painful death<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Superbeast:
    I am truly disturbed that you have the moronic ability to bash on someone that you dont even hardly know.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Superbeast. I am Nursey's housemaid, and I have grown to love her. I have been employed by her for nearly 2 years. Let me tell you what a paradoxical woman she can be. At first i didn't like her. The way she used to look at me made almost made me want to cry, a kind of piercing look of disgust...like i was some filthy, discarded sanitary napkin or something.
    Once i accidentally put her (very pricey) handmade Venician lace underwear into the washing machine (they need to be carefully handwashed in filtered water or the chlorine fades them). They were in tatters when they came out. When she saw what had happened she blasted me with obscenities i didn't even know existed at the top of her lungs...about 6 inches from my face which was so intense it caused me to wet myself, then practically dragged me down the corridor into her study for about an hour and seethingly paced back and forth telling me everything that was wrong with me. I was a snivelling, dishevelled wreck by the end of it. The humiliation did not stop there...i was next ordered to cover the passenger seat of her car in polythene, then she drove me home ( not uttering a single word until we arrived - at which point she snapped "OUT" ). I really thought she hated me, and sobbed uncontrollably for the rest of the night, but at least she had not fired me.
    Then, that very same week something utterly heartbreaking was to happen. My cat Benji, who i had had since i was 13 was found by my neighbour whining in pain under a bush. I carefully lifted him out and what I saw caused my opinion of the human race to plummet to new depths that day. Some depraved, perverted psychopath had forced a 'Snickers' chocolate bar nearly the whole way into that poor creatures back passage. Benji was yowling in excruciating pain now that i had moved him. I didn't know what to do, neither did i have money to pay for a vet ( i was still having the cost of the ruined lingerie docked from my wages). I decided to call Nursey as my only hope. To my relief, she was in an unusually good mood, she was at Lance's ( who she mentioned earlier ) and to my surprise cheerily said they'd be straight over. They arrived and Nursey proceeded to remove the chocolate bar by inserting a corkscrew into it and pulling, but Benji started bleeding profusely and went into severe shock. She got me to insert a tampon into him to staunch the flow of blood while she blew air down his throat via drinking straws she had inserted, she then got Lance to rhythmically slap Benji's chest whenever his heart stopped. They then had to go , but i was able to do the blowing and slapping by myself and managed to keep Benji going for another couple of hours like this, but this wasn't enough and sadly he passed away. I lay with my teary face against his rigid little body all night, and i could smell Lance's aftershave off his soft white fur. This was a comforting reminder of what him and Nursey had done for Benji, and i will forever be in their debt. It was an experience which taught me something...that not all is always as it seems.
     
  20. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

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    11,130
    *wipes away a little tear* now if that isn't a beautiful story, about a beautiful woman... too bad she didn't beat you with a desk lamp for fucking up her undies though...
     

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