Those door to door Mormons.

Discussion in 'General Mayhem' started by GreenAppleSplatters, Apr 6, 2001.

  1. GreenAppleSplatters

    GreenAppleSplatters New Member

    Messages:
    2,080
    These two mormons come to my house today,Elder Love and Elder Something or other(Elder Love sounds like a cool ass name actually).But anyways, I'm a pushover when it comes to this kind of shit.He asks me if I know that God has a plan for me and blah blah blah. I tell them that I'm about to go to work and he asks for my name and phone number,so I give him my real name like a dumbass and give him a fake number.
    So now I'm gonna have some mormons raiding my house and telling me that I'm going to go to hell for lying to them. Any suggestions for getting rid of them without killing/maiming them or hurting their feelings?
     
  2. Silent But Deadly

    Silent But Deadly New Member

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    305
    OK heres the kicker...
    mormons belive that the holy trinity are three seperate people and that if in fact jesus wasnt god or the holy ghost then he couldnt be perfect and he couldnt die for our sins....then ask them if he didnt die for our sins that means we are all going to hell....then run out of your own house screaming. or get some pigs blood and a hooker....
     
  3. GreenAppleSplatters

    GreenAppleSplatters New Member

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    2,080
    Pig's blood and hookers huh? Sounds like a plan to me.....
     
  4. hstfixer

    hstfixer New Member

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    37
    I like Mormon women ... they came (pun) around my previous 'hood to convert me.

    All that pent up desire ... all that pent up frustration... it didn't help when I left the porn laying around.

    I knew I was just helping them ... they had to experience the wrongness of an affair to be a better counselor ... I was there for them.

    That's just me tho ..

    They've changed somewhat:

    The New Church of the Latter Day Saints

    and for the black Mormon's:


    Black Mormon Page

    And not to leave out their chat room:


    Yahoo! Clubs big black boogaloo titties
     
  5. Clydie Scope

    Clydie Scope New Member

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    128
    GAS...just tell them that your a sadist...they havent been back to my folks house since I told them that 11 years ago.
     
  6. kitana

    kitana New Member

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    5,555
    what's a sadist?

    we have jehova's witnesses walking through our neighborhood every now and then. we used to close and lock the doors and stay quiet so that they think no one is home. now, we have a big dog and they dont even get near the fence.
    i asked my mom once if i could answer the door to them by myself. she is very annoyed by those people. i told her i was gonna say that i worshipped satan and then start acting like i was possessed, but she called me crazy and said that probably would not be a good idea. it would have been fun, though.
     
  7. Cheezedawg

    Cheezedawg Guest

    I use to sneak witnesses down into the apple cellar when I was a kid. They showed me all kinds of neat things about Jesus. And that Satan thing wouldn't work my love. They would smile and ask to come in and show you a passage from the good book. And they would have stayed all night until you fell asleep.
     
  8. kitana

    kitana New Member

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    5,555
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cheezedawg:
    I use to sneak witnesses down into the apple cellar when I was a kid. They showed me all kinds of neat things about Jesus. \nd they would have stayed all night until you fell asleep.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    uh, ok, and what else did they do to you while you all were alone in the cellar?
     
  9. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

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    7,211
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitana:
    what's a sadist?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    somebody who takes pleasure from administering pain....

    sadism is so-called after the marquis de sade.. some guy who used to throw orgies and shit where ppl would come round and torture, degrade and fuck people all night long...

    and he wrote a few books along the same lines...

    they made a film once from one of his books... can't remember the name.. came out in the seventies.... has been banned ever since... the films about one of these orgies of pain and degradation.... it's fuckin sick.. you lot'd love it...
    if i remember the name i'll come back and tell ya...
     
  10. hstfixer

    hstfixer New Member

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    37
    Sadist versus masochist

    masochist: Hurt me! Please!

    sadist: No.
     
  11. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,886
    I fucked a mormon. He was stupid and had a small dick. Mormons, like christians, are mostly hypocrites. Put a mirror on your front door and I promise they won't come back. They'd be standing there holding their mormon literature waiting for you to answer the door, and see the reflections of a total loser-assholes holding a bunch of useless bullshit in their hands. They wouldn't be able to bare it, and they'd take off, arms flailing, papers flying, running blindly in the street. Hopefully, you live on a busy street, and they'd get fuckin' plowed by a minivan. A CHURCH (any denomination) minivan!
     

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