Subject: Suicide? Or is IT?

You may have seen this, but whateva...

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS
president, Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal
complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus
and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The
decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to
commit suicide. He left a note to that effect indicating his
despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted
by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had
been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some
building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to
complete his suicide the way he had planned.

Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit
suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be
what he intended" is still defined as committing suicide.

That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below at
street level, but that his suicide attempt probably would not have been
successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to
feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was
occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously,
and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that
when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the bullets
went through the window striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt,
one is guilty of the murder of subject B.

When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were
both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded.

The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife
with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her.

Therefore, the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident, that is,
the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old
couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal
accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's
financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to
use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that
his father would shoot his mother.

The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death
of Ronald Opus. Now comes the bizarre twist. Further investigation
revealed that the son was in fact Ronald Opus. He had become
increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his
mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on
March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the
ninth store window.

The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the
case as a suicide.

Very tidy of him.

(A true story from Associated Press, by Kurt Westervel)
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

This is kinda funny too:

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR> ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen
other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from
people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced
that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up
into the air,and then passed a man on the side of the road who she
claimed was Jesus."She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and
climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car,"
said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was
pronounced dead at the scene. "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait
till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening
and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he
went on to say. "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been
on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison
questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was
dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the
tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve
blow up sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.
Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his
friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into
the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the Williams'
car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting
people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband,
who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else. When asked for
comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just
too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitanaBADKITTY:
LMFAO!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! you can't kill yourself properly, so I take away your right to talk about sucide on the forums... loser

 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

fuck you

 

LMFAO!

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Minister Saint-Fond:
You may have seen this, but whateva...

I saw this exact same story in a movie, but I can't remember what movie it was. Anyways, in the movie they go through the exact same story and do a re-enactment. It was funny as hell to actually see what you're talking about. I always thought that it was a story made up for the film. Are you sure it's real?

 

No, I'm not sure. I got the story in an email. It seemed funny and listed a source so I figured I'd post it for shits and giggles. I suppose I could look up the newspaper story or something but I'm way lazy and that would cut into my th(dr)inking time.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Minister Saint-Fond:
The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife
with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This gives new meaning to the expression, "Old habits die hard".

 

reminds me of my day except i didnt die...and it didnt happen or sumthin like that

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Non Anti Suicidal:
reminds me of my day except i didnt die...and it didnt happen or sumthin like that<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

tell us more about it

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitanaBADKITTY:
tell us more about it<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Didnt I take your posting about suicide privlages away? You can have them back when you kill yourself... now go try again

 

ok so i was sittin there one day bout two years ago just watchin some tv. next thing i noe i hear a cat scream and then this squishing noise. i go over to the kitchin to investigate and my brother had killed the cat. so i asked hey wat the fuck did you do that for. he said it wouldnt stop meowing and it reminded too much of his kid so he just killed it, so i just kinda walked away slowly. next thing i know im sittin here eatin a salad and i think theres a hair in my mouth so i pull it out and then look in my bowl and theres more and he choped up the fuckin cat and put it in. it was pretty sick, but i relized that without all the hairs it taste pretty good, so to get back i thought it would be funny so tie one of his kids legs behind his head and then put it in the microwave. fucker didnt fit so i got a big pot and put him in there with sum water and put it on high so when he go home he would find his kid boiling... no wait this is the story where my brother tried to kill me my bad

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by I Murder Children VIOLENTLY:
Didnt I take your posting about suicide privlages away? You can have them back when you kill yourself... now go try again<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

who the fuck r u to take my privileges away? yer nobody, just like me


Non Anti Suicidal: r u serious, yer bro killed the cat and put it in yer salad???
what did u do with his kid? kontinue yer story

 

yeah the cat pissed him off so he ended up killin it, and seein it was dead he thought it would be funny to cut it up and put it in my salad. as for his kid i took a hamster and put a hamster in the back of his diaper only to find out that hamsters like to explore

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Non Anti Suicidal:
as for his kid i took a hamster and put a hamster in the back of his diaper only to find out that hamsters like to explore<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

stfu
i dont believe u

 

yeah well theres probaly a good reason y u dont

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Non Anti Suicidal:
yeah well theres probaly a good reason y u dont<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

nut really

 

BACK TO THE STORY AT THE TOP OF THE THREAD:

i saw this one a while back, at the darwinawards site... i think it's true

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pimp Monchichi:
BACK TO THE STORY AT THE TOP OF THE THREAD:

i saw this one a while back, at the darwinawards site... i think it's true<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm still tryin' to remember what movie I saw it in...

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FredVegas:
I'm still tryin' to remember what movie I saw it in...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Keep Thinking...

Sometimes, The Brain Doesnt Work Because It Doesnt Want To