Bed Time Read

Discussion in 'Jokes, Funny Stories and other Text.' started by Topper, Dec 2, 2001.

  1. Topper

    Topper New Member

    Messages:
    250
    Geezer says to his wife, "Put your coat on, I'm going down the pub".

    Wife says, "I'm coming with you?"

    Geezer says, "No, I'm turning the heating off".
     
  2. D

    D New Member

    Messages:
    1,637
    You read FHM as well?
     
  3. D

    D New Member

    Messages:
    1,637
    Whats the difference between an egg and a wank?

    You can beat an egg?
     
  4. Dawn

    Dawn New Member

    Messages:
    31
    In the theme of Men over women I thought I would some complete SHIT I found to do with our hairy lesbian feminists:-

    1. Don't imagine you can change a man unless he's in diapers.
    2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
    3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
    4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
    5. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
    6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
    7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
    8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
    9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
    10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
    11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
    12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
    13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him chequebooks.
    14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
    15. Sadly, all men are created equal.


    Sorry. But they fucking suck AND I am female.
     
  5. Dawn

    Dawn New Member

    Messages:
    31
    Actually fuck that. It wouldn't matter if I WAS a feminist. They would still suck dick. Ironically.
     
  6. D

    D New Member

    Messages:
    1,637
    A man and his wife were in bed reading when the husband put his finger in to his miss's vadge. He then took it out and carried on reading for a couple of minutes before putting it back in again. After he had done this he carried on reading. This went on for about 10 minutes before the wife sat up and got undressed.
    "what are you doing?" asked her husband.
    "you want sex dont you?" replyed the wife.
    "no"
    "then why do you keep fingering me?" asked the wife a little miffed.
    To which the husband replyed "I was just wetting my fingers to turn the page"
     
  7. Lungruff

    Lungruff New Member

    Messages:
    3
    My, my... aren't we the bitter little closet lesbo? What's the matter - angry because you're just a septic tank for cum? A cock-holster? Maybe you're a yeasty-beastie? LOL

    Either way, you've got some serious fucking issues. Get over it.
     

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