sexist jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes, Funny Stories and other Text.' started by Jurkin 24-7, Jun 3, 2001.

  1. Jurkin 24-7

    Jurkin 24-7 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent?
    -When her first words are, "A man once told me..."

    How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
    -None. It should be open when the woman brings it to him

    Why don't women play sports?
    -Because the kitchen's not big enough.

    Why do women have small feet?
    -So they can stand closer to the sink.

    How can you tell if your wife is dead?
    -The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

    what do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
    nothin, you already told the bitch twice.

    I just can't trust anything that can bleed for five days and not die.

    A little boy asked his father where he got his intelligence from.
    His father replied "Well, you must've gotten it from your mom, cause I still have mine."
    Why don't women ever fart?

    They never shut up long enough to build up pressure.

    How to do change a dishwasher into a snowblower?
    -Give her a shovel.

    This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, "Pack your bags, honey. I just won the lottery!" She says, "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?" He replies "I dont care ...just get the fuck out!"

    how many men does it take to change the kitchen light bulb?
    none, let the bitch cook in the dark

    what do you call the useless skin around a vagina?
    -a woman

    why did God give a woman legs?
    -so she can walk from the kitchen to the bed

    Why cant Helen Keller drive?
    -She's a women.

    what do you say to a feminest with no arms and no legs?
    nice tits bitch!
     
  2. deftrager

    deftrager New Member

    Messages:
    3
    What is the best thing about getting a blowjob?

    The bitch is quiet for a good 10 minutes.
     
  3. Jurkin 24-7

    Jurkin 24-7 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    whats the difference between mad cow disease and PMS?
    -the # of tits.
     
  4. The Original Stabmaster

    The Original Stabmaster New Member

    Messages:
    38
    How do you make a woman blind?

    Put a windscreen in front of her.
     
  5. kitana

    kitana New Member

    Messages:
    5,555
    TOS: i dont get that one
     
  6. Jurkin 24-7

    Jurkin 24-7 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    ya know like how girls cant fuckin drive.
    windsheild/windscreen, whatever.
     
  7. kitana

    kitana New Member

    Messages:
    5,555
    oh, now i get it.
    most of the guys that i know, dont know shit about driving, but i guess that is because when they see a chik, they get distracted, when they talk, they look at you (the passenger), they cant keep both hands on the wheel (one hand is doing something on their crotch), and the alcohol affects the system.
     
  8. Richard Cranium

    Richard Cranium New Member

    Messages:
    80
    You know after reading some of these post, I am not at all suprised that that descibes most of the guys you know.

    Women drivers,
    No suvivors.

    My name is Fredrico Hosay,
    I makey 5 pesos a day,
    I go see Kitana,
    fuck in her cabana,
    she takes my 5 pesos away.

    I'm a fucking poet.
     
  9. kitana

    kitana New Member

    Messages:
    5,555
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Richard Cranium:
    You know after reading some of these post, I am not at all suprised that that descibes most of the guys you know.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    what does that mean? i was talking about my ex and his friends/roommates and my baby bro and dad. shit, the crotch part is my ex's friends/roommates-they always do that ball shift thing, and they dont care who sees them or where they are at or what they are doing.

    My name is Fredrico Hosay,
    I makey 5 pesos a day,
    I go see Kitana,
    fuck in her cabana,
    she takes my 5 pesos away.

    I'm a fucking poet.
    [/QUOTE]

    yeah, nice poem, u calling me a prostitute? what the hell is a cabana? 5 pesos is like a few cents in american money. ree-wee

     
  10. I_ate_Tom_Brokaw

    I_ate_Tom_Brokaw New Member

    Messages:
    6
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kitana:
    yeah, nice poem, u calling me a prostitute? what the hell is a cabana? 5 pesos is like a few cents in american money. ree-wee

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Yeah, idiot bitch, he's calling you a cheap whore. God you're stupid, you totally suck the fun out of everything.
     
  11. Your Mother

    Your Mother New Member

    Messages:
    22
    Hi! I’m either very stupid and tried to copy what that ass-fucking piece of shit Wandering Porn Dealer did, or I actually AM Wandering Porn Dealer and registered this account too. The email address I used for this one is invader50@hotmail.com and I came from this IP: 204.186.207.231

    [ August 13, 2001: Message edited by: Fugly ]
     
  12. Jurkin 24-7

    Jurkin 24-7 New Member

    Messages:
    159
    whats black & blue and dont like sex?
    the girl in the trunk of my car
     
  13. Disorder

    Disorder New Member

    Messages:
    2,055
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> vaguely remembered by jurkin...

    whats the difference between mad cow disease and PMS?
    -the # of tits <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


    whats the difference between bse and pms?

    ones mad cow desease, the others an agricultural problem
     
  14. kaye

    kaye New Member

    Messages:
    75
    what do you do when your dishwasher breaks down??

    slap the bitch!!

    hahahahahah funny
     

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