great joke

Discussion in 'Jokes, Funny Stories and other Text.' started by jallin, May 16, 2001.

  1. jallin

    jallin New Member

    Messages:
    1
    Q: "How does a redneck know when his sister is on her period?"

    A:"His dad's dick tastes funny"
     
  2. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

    Messages:
    11,130
    so where is this great joke? Heres one for you...

    Q: whats the difference between a set of snow tires and a black man?

    A: Snow tires dont start singing when you throw chains on them
     
  3. pascale

    pascale New Member

    Messages:
    4
    how do you circumcise a redneck?
    kick his sister in the jaw

    i think i may have actually read that on this site ages ago
     
  4. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

    Messages:
    7,211
    Q/how can you tell if you're in a rednecks house??

    A/he lets his 12 year old smoke in front of their kids
     
  5. tylenol44

    tylenol44 New Member

    Messages:
    33
    NORMAL PEOPLE USE MONEY.
    REDNECKS: LIMITED EDITION COMMEMORATIVE PLATES

    I LIVE TO EAT
     
  6. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

    Messages:
    11,130
    isn't dave mathews a out of the closet extemely vocal bun boy?
     
  7. Silent But Deadly

    Silent But Deadly New Member

    Messages:
    305
    funny one....

    Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.

    "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

    Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

    When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

    The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job."

    Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!"

    The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see,... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck."

    Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job."

    Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure!"

    The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9 and a half wide."

    Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job." Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure!"

    The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see. . . 7 5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job." The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure!"

    The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

    Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

    The salesman shook his head and said, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"
     
  8. deftrager

    deftrager New Member

    Messages:
    3
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Silent But Deadly:
    funny one....

    Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.

    "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

    Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

    When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

    The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job."

    Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!"

    The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see,... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck."

    Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job."

    Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure!"

    The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9 and a half wide."

    Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job." Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure!"

    The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see. . . 7 5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job." The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure!"

    The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

    Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

    The salesman shook his head and said, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    ahahahahahaha
     

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