Information and Pictures of Midgets and Dwarves

Discussion in 'Complaints, Requests and Suggestions.' started by OllieRetard, Oct 24, 2000.

  1. OllieRetard

    OllieRetard New Member

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    48
    Yes, I find midgets and dwarves fascinating. It goes without saying that their entertainment value is disproportionate to their stature. It is true that I love them dearly and consider it a very lucky day whenever I spy one. When I was in Colombia last April, I saw a midget who had a friend who looked like Charles Manson. They were dancing to reggae ... I have a picture. I was lucky enough to shake the midget's hand, which thrilled and frightened me all at once. Unfortunately, this hellhole is not equipped with a scanner, so I cannot share with you my tiny friend (oh, but I wish he truly were my friend). There was another, who I believe was a dwarf (it's maddening how I confuse the two), he was called turtle. He could not swim. I had a dream about midgets once. A man said to me "midgets is not good singers".
     
  2. Piecraft the Terrible

    Piecraft the Terrible New Member

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    118
    Joe C. died from Kid Cock's band take a whack at that...

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    Have you ever danced in the pale moonlight of the night with the Devil? Well I have!
     
  3. Psycho Bob

    Psycho Bob New Member

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    1,277
    Midgets, Dwarfs, Little People call them what you will but in the end their all the same, evil. Pure Evil. Just look at them, their scary. All short and shit with funny looking heads. Imagine in the middle of the night you wake up and see one of those little fucks running around your house, whispering your name. Now thats truly frightening and believe me because I know.
    I lost more than just my virginaty that dark night.
    Once I was amoung the ignorant, not knowing their true nature, not knowing of their hopes of world domination, not knowing that they have powerful allies such as the amish. But now I know, and I must share the horrible truths that have been hidden for ma ny a year. I must bring forth the knowledge i hold and educate the massess. I must prepare the world for the attack that will surely come. Midgets Must Die!


    Behold the truths

    There are five major truths to the evilness of midgets.


    1. Their scary.
    2. They take our jobs and women.
    3. They have sex with us when we don't wish to.
    4. Their in the show buisness
    5. They can fly when they want too. A power given to them by the amish.


    Take these truths and remember them well. I have fought many a battle with these few words and have always become the victor. Believe them for they are the truths.

    Arm Yourselves


    Below i have listed many ways to trick midgets and once they fall for your trap KILL THEM!!!

    1. Put an add in the paper under the classified section for employment. Let it read as below.

    Calling all midgets. Calling all midgets. We need your services come to the alley behind Bowlarama at 8:00 P.M. on Wednesday. Wear your shoes with the bells on them. Pay is good. Lots of free stuff. Come one come all.

    Then wait in the alley and listen for the little jingle of the bells on their shoes, then jump out and with the weapon of your choice and kill them. If your town dosn't have a Bowlarama use another place such as a Fat Lady's store. I have used this simpl e ruse numerous times and it has always worked. Give it a shot and tell me of your success or failure.



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    Live Fast Die Young Leave a Goodlookin' Corpse
     
  4. Piecraft the Terrible

    Piecraft the Terrible New Member

    Messages:
    118
    a midget once tried to rape me so i sat on the little fucker and suffocated him with my ass, or maybe it was when i passed gas since i had eaten a load of boston baked beans for lunch that day.... hmmm dunno...

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    Go to Hell!!!
     
  5. OllieRetard

    OllieRetard New Member

    Messages:
    48
    Dear Lord, I would NEVER consider placing any of these dear little people in harm's way. Ancient legend holds that if you break a dwarf's back, you'll step in some cack. This would never do … do do, duh doo, duh do, dah dooooooooo.

    Since my original post, I am happy to report, I have become well aquatinted with the Colombian midget ... yes indeed, and more pictures were taken. I almost convinced him to allow me to hold him like a baby in one shot, but my pint-sized pal denied indulging my whim only moments before the picture was taken. The thought of my little Turtle Man's bandy legs fairly brings a tear to my eye.

    Matrimony is not totally out of the question, but I fear one Dr. (hah!) Anthony Richard may endeavor to sabotage any plans for my future happiness. It has come to light quite recently that she is the bastard daughter of the nefarious G. Prosser and has now formed a wicked allegiance with the Fille en Suise and are plotting to withhold all sustenance, chocolate in nature. They shall both be mightily surprised when they find that their stash is nothing more than smelly, overripe cheese, thanks to my good friend, and mentor, Richard Fromage (not to be confused with Ricardo Fromagio).

    I have tried to wake Mozart from his slumber. I suspect he hears my calls … or perhaps he really cannot hear the telephone on account of the Berres Hammond (or was it Barrington Levy??).
     
  6. amputee_annie

    amputee_annie New Member

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    89
    you guys are getting to intelligent for me. or is it because im to lazy to read? all in all midgets are fascinating but only from a distance.

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    i sawed off my wounds.
     
  7. Piecraft the Terrible

    Piecraft the Terrible New Member

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    118
    I tend to prefer Human torsos myself...

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    Go to Hell!!!
     
  8. Pervert

    Pervert New Member

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    24
    Ollie, you're the most intelligent MoFo I've ever known...

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    I like long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, sitting in the moonlight, kids(mainly Lil boys), arts and crafts, jump roping, masturbation, and the occasional porno...
     
  9. GreenAppleSplatters

    GreenAppleSplatters New Member

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    2,080
    Yes,Ollie is one intelligent "mofo".His smart and savvy raves and rants have kept me entertained many a cold,lonely night at my so-called computer.
    But I have a hunch that our OllieRetard friend is more than just another semi-intelligent mind that frequents this little slice of heaven that we call the "Fugly Forums".I have come to the conclusion that(gasp) HE IS........Bill Gates!!!!

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    You da best he-bitch in my man stable.If I had two more manginas like you,I'd be a millionare.
     
  10. NoOpinion

    NoOpinion New Member

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    143
    GAsp, MOFO billy gates. ok i decided irish coffe does the trick for me. fucking cream they say wont get me drunk.
    Without a word of a lie i got jumped tonight, Right outside my fucking house. All i have to say is come back tonight you fucking spooks, i bury you in the jungle like you fucking deserve. Filthy hood rats deserve to die horrible steamy hot stab wounds to the jugular vein. I cant say i have a better christmas than having hot spurting jungle bunny blood raining down on me!

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    Who are you and how did you get in here? Im a locksmith. And, im a locksmith
     
  11. NoOpinion

    NoOpinion New Member

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    143
    Im pissed!

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    Who are you and how did you get in here? Im a locksmith. And, im a locksmith
     
  12. NoOpinion

    NoOpinion New Member

    Messages:
    143
    I take that back, the things ill say in a drunkan stupor.

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    Who are you and how did you get in here? Im a locksmith. And, im a locksmith
     

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