Top 10 Reasons for Being French: 1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay 2. Park your tractors or lorries anywhere you please 3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs 4. If there's a war you can surrender really early 5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4. 6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries 7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star 8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride 9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street 10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not Top 10 Reasons for Being American: 1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it 3. You can call Budweiser beer 4. You can be a crook and still be president 5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything 6. If you can breathe you can get a gun 7. You can invent a new public holiday every year 8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care. 9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy" 10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth When you're not At all. Top 10 Reasons for Being English: 1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah 2. Warm beer 3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket 4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events 5. Union jack underpants 6. Water shortages AND floods guaranteed every single summer 7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power 8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not 9. Ditto changing underwear 10. Beats being Welsh Or Scottish Top 10 Reasons for Being German: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. In-built sense of pacifism Top 10 Reasons for Being Indian: 1. Chicken Madras 2. Lamb Passanda 3. Onion Bhaji 4. Bombay Potatoe 5. Chicken Tikka Masala 6. Rogan Josh 7. Popadoms 8. Chicken Dopiaza 9. Meat Boona 10. Kingfisher lager Top 10 Reasons for Being Welsh: You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?!?!?!? Top 10 Reasons for Being Irish: 1. Guinness 2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives 3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road 4. Pubs never close 5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on 6. No one can ever remember the night before 7. Kill people you don't agree with 8. Stew 9. More Guinness 10.Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3:00 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence. Top 10 Reasons for Being Canadian: 1. It beats being an American 2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground 3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors 4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground 5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe? 6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularityratings will rise 7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground 8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins 9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme 10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground Top 10 Reasons for Being Australian: 1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilised nation on earth wanted 2. Fosters Lager 3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you 4. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket 5. Tact and sensitivity 6. Bondi Beach 7. Other beaches 8. Drinking cold lager on the beach 9. Drinking cold lager on the beach 10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being French: 2. Park your tractors or lorries anywhere you please <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> They're not fucking parking their tractors on my fucking cornfield pal. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being American: 8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I care. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being English: 3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The rules of cricket don't confuse me sunshine. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being German: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. In-built sense of pacifism <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You forgot the availiability of alcohol 24/7 and being able to drive your car as fast as you fucking like. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being Indian: 1. Chicken Madras 2. Lamb Passanda 3. Onion Bhaji 4. Bombay Potatoe 5. Chicken Tikka Masala 6. Rogan Josh 7. Popadoms 8. Chicken Dopiaza 9. Meat Boona 10. Kingfisher lager <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No, that's ten reasons why to talk to an indian you rascist fuck. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being Welsh: You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?!?!?!? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You missed the rugby yesterday then? <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being Irish: 4. Pubs never close <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Granted <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being Canadian: 1. It beats being an American <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ditto <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being Australian: 8. Drinking cold lager on the beach <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ditto again, but not Fosters, Fosters sucks big time, Melbourne Bitter is where it is at. edit; I missed one little fucking '/' [This message has been edited by Topper (edited March 18, 2001).]
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Scrawine: Sounds like the Irish beat the English cunts again <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> did you just call me a cunt!!! you fucker.......
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dr Harold Shipman: Top 10 Reasons for Being Canadian: 2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground [/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> YESSS!!! ------------------ Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds - excactly three fucking seconds - to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! - Master Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket
Hi everybody! I was hoping that somebody could dispel the rumours that are circulating about Rick Astley and his fear of flying. I have heard that his tour of America/South Americas was abandoned on account of Rick being unable to board the plane that would have launched him into worldwide mega stardom. I can't believe this whatsoever, as when I saw him perform in Frankfurt he seemed as though he was on top of the world without a care in the world at all. I really really hope Rick will be back very very soon in the near future or earlier if at all possible. If not, we forgive you Rick, and wish you all of the best goodwill in the whole of the world and the entirety of the full people. We hope you are here Rick beacause we really really miss you, and we really really want you to come back with the force. We are just about all well and done with the below average attempts to recreate/counterfeit the silky/buttery/soulish tones that dominate your music, by R+B fraudsters such as Craig David and Milli Vanilli.Rick come back soon-we want you!
