"The Good Wife Guide."

Discussion in 'General Mayhem' started by Arachnid, Mar 13, 2001.

  1. Arachnid

    Arachnid New Member

    Messages:
    3
    "The Good Wife Guide."
    Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night
    before, to have a delicious meal ready for his return
    from work. This is a way of letting him know that you
    have been thinking about him and are concerned about
    his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and
    the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite
    dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
    Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be
    refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make up, put
    a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has
    just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little
    gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring
    day may need a lift and one of your duties is to
    provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip
    through the main part of the house just before your
    husband arrives. Gather up school books, toys, papers
    etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. During
    the colder months of the year you should prepare and
    light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will
    feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it
    will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his
    comfort will provide you with immense personal
    satisfaction.
    Minimize all noise. At the time of his
    arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or
    vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be
    happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show
    sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him.
    You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but
    the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him
    talk first, remember his topics of conversation are
    more important than yours. Make the evening his. Never
    complain if he arrives home late or goes out to dinner
    or other places of entertainment without you. Instead,
    try to understand his world of strain and pressure and
    his very real need to be at home and relax. Try to
    make sure your home is a place of peace, order and
    tranquility where your husband can renew himself in
    body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and
    problems. Don't complain if he's late for dinner, or
    even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared
    to what he might have gone through that day.
    Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable
    chair
    or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or
    warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer
    to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and
    pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his
    actions or question his judgment or integrity.
    Remember, he is the master of the house and as such
    will always exercise this will with fairness and
    truthfulness. When he has had a chance to have his
    evening meal, clear the dishes and wash up promptly.
    If your husband should offer to help decline his offer
    as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after
    a long working day, he does not need the extra work.
    Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and
    interests and be supporting without seeming to
    encroach. If you have little hobbies yourself try not
    to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests
    are often rather trivial compared to men's. At the end
    of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and
    again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your
    husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the
    outside world in a positive fashion. Once you have
    both retired to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed
    as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of
    the utmost importance, your tired husband does not
    want to queue for the bathroom as he would for his
    train. But remember to look your best when going to
    bed. Try to achieve a look which is welcoming without
    being obvious. If you need to apply face cream or hair
    rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be
    shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes
    to the possibility of intimate relations with your
    husband, it is important to remember your marriage
    vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels
    that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In
    all things be lead by your husband's wishes; do not
    pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should
    your husband suggest congress then accept humbly, all
    the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is
    more important than a women's. When he reaches his
    moment of fulfillment, a small moan from yourself is
    encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate
    any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your
    husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be
    obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance
    by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will
    then fall promptly asleep, so adjust your clothing,
    freshen up and apply night time and hair care
    products.
    You may then set the alarm so that you can arise
    shortly before him in the morning. This will enable
    you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.
     
  2. I HATE NAGGERS

    I HATE NAGGERS New Member

    Messages:
    369
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Arachnid:
    "The Good Wife Guide."
    This will enable
    you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    what is his TEA shit? You fag...My ol lady better have some Jack Daniels
    ready for me in the morning or she gets 2 lumps. And it ain't 2 lumps of sugar in her tea you ohsogay prick.
     
  3. Topper

    Topper New Member

    Messages:
    250
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Arachnid:
    "The Good Wife Guide."
    Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night
    before, to have a delicious meal ready for his return from work.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    work?
     
  4. Doctor_69

    Doctor_69 New Member

    Messages:
    7
    Don't even fucking talk,...just get on your knees.....
     
  5. GreenAppleSplatters

    GreenAppleSplatters New Member

    Messages:
    2,080
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by I HATE NIGGERS:
    what is his TEA shit? You fag...My ol lady better have some Jack Daniels
    ready for me in the morning or she gets 2 lumps. And it ain't 2 lumps of sugar in her tea you ohsogay prick.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


    I have the sneaking suspicion(Is that how it's spelled?) that your wife has no idea about the shit that you post here.
     
  6. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

    Messages:
    11,130
    lol i know he dosent.. his wife kicks his ass... she makes him shave her legs and shit like that
     
  7. I HATE NAGGERS

    I HATE NAGGERS New Member

    Messages:
    369
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by GreenAppleSplatters:

    I have the sneaking suspicion(Is that how it's spelled?) that your wife has no idea about the shit that you post here.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    She'd throw me out in a fucking heartbeat...
     
  8. pimpchichi

    pimpchichi Active Member

    Messages:
    7,211
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by I HATE NIGGERS:
    She'd throw me out in a fucking heartbeat...

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    yeah... and rip out your still-beating heart... just to time the aforementioned throwing out to perfection.....
     

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