"You should find the tallest building in your town, go up to the roof, sit down and spin until you reach the bottom."
A couple of Favorites from Farley. "You can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bulls ass, but I'd rather take the butchers word for it" "I can take a shit in a box and mark it guaranteed, it's a guaranteed piece of shit"
kinda related - My sister and I were talking about my grandfather and his funny little quotes- that always came from him "that boys cornbread is doughy in the middle" "you must be tired" WHY "you obviously chased some poor nigger and stole his outfit" "men are blessed with one of 2 things...a big dick, or a big brain.... and I was never smart enough to figure out what I was blessed with" shit I had a bunch more but just forgot them .. he had many others... but were all racist - yet funny
One of my friends said, "I won't stand for it. And I won't sit down for it either." I thought it was funny.
I tell the Arab all the time.. You are so full of shit...your eyes are brown. I also tell him Muszibee (pronounced Muss Zee Bee) means Suck my dick... and Kis em ick - means go fuck your mom...
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" "better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick"
Ive always liked this one, in one form or another. 'If assholes were airplanes this place would be an airport' 'Why do you have the door locked, you afraid of someone breaking in and cleaning the house up?'
