95% of the guys in here

Have a big-time crush on Dan. It's kinda cute and disturbing at the same time.

 

yuck.... I'll settle for you having a crush on me.

 

I look up to Dan with great admiration. He is so smart and strong, and clearly is the alpha male of his domain. When he drinks beer he never needs to pee, and he can drive a car one handed while admiring himself in the rear view mirror. I am sure that his bowel movements are regular, and that his stool is so clean that he doesn't even have to wipe his butt after a trip to the can.

I have given it a lot of thought, and I guess I will just say it - I love Dan and I want him to pet my dog and meet my mother.

 

you call your junk 'my dog'.....

 

SIDEBAR ALERT: Barry, check your PMs.

I'd like to clarify that I am in the other 5%.

 

Thou protest too mucheth.........

 

Uh, no you aren't. This is my statistic. You can't insert yourself into it how you see fit.

 

Where should he insert himself, where you tell him to?

 

That's what has been done in the past.

 

That was our little secret.