Anybody know how to transport something this big?

Oh wait. You're talking about the cactus? I though you meant the building-like structure.

 

ZING!!!

 

No, I really did think he wanted to transport that building some place. I didn't even see the cactus until I started trying to figure out what he meant when he said it was 20 feet tall.

 

Now lets be perfectly honest folks show of hands. Who else thought the very same thing?

 

Really, I thought the inclusion of the word "Cactus" in my post, immediately preceding the picture itself, would've cleared up any confusion. I guess I was wrong.

That building is ready to be remodeled, by the way. Nauseous would love it, not because it houses both a refrigerator and a dedicated freezer (the size of the fridge), but it also provides a winter shelter for a raccoon that happens to spend the winters inside the 'shed' portion of the structure.

But, anyway, back to the subject at hand... How the hell am I going to unearth that thing, lay it vertically, and plant it in a new home?

 

and sound proofing for any lippy bitches that think thay can escape?

 

For some reason I feel like Dwaine has seen 'Kiss the Girls' one too many times....

I dont know how they do it out west, but when the Augusta National wants to add a tree, they go out, find the biggest freaking tree they can, have a company un-earth it, and close down part of town as they transport it onto their property. It is really quite amazing. Nothing like seeing a couple hundred year old pine tree rolling down the road on the back of a huge truck. I live about a mile from the property, and it almost happens twice a year that I get caught in a roadblock because they are rolling in one of the enormous mofos.

Lomo, do you know anyone with a 10-12fr cargo trailer and a truck? If you could get it out of the ground safely, I would suggest tilting it into a trailer and then have it up over the bed of the truck. Kind of like a scud missle launcher. If I was closer I would just bring mine over, but its kind of a haul from jawja, of course I could swing by daphne and get barry and the maj (soon to be colon) and make a road trip out of it.....

 

Couldn't you get some quotes from some landscapers and see how much it would cost?

 

Fernando should be able to give you an idea....

 

don't you mean daffy duck?

 

Oops, yeah. I had a stuffed duck when I was a kid and it's name was Daphne. My brain got them crossed.

 

**Update!**

I've spoken with a guy at work that owns his own landscaping business. I initially asked him about an estimate for removing this damn China berry tree in my back yard (it's probably going to fall within the year, possibly sooner...)

I need to get that tree out of the yard before I spend the time (and money) to relocate these cacti. I would probably run towards the nearest living thing and kill it if that damn tree were to fall onto my newly-replanted cacti.

So, I get an estimate on removing a 40' tree ($200-300), and then present him with the cacti caravan idea. Turns out, he's got a 20' trailer, and is eager to enlist my business (any surprise here?)

I'm just guessing here, but when it's all said and done, I'll probably have to spend a grand to get this damn cactus moved. Factor in the cost of the tree removal (which needed to be done anyway, I was just waiting for the bitch to fall so the insurance would pay for it), my newly-acquired landscaper, etc...

I wanted to ask my neighbor for the hookup on some wetbacks that he has doing all of his remodeling/shed building/driveway expansion/etc... Actual cheap (and great) labor that he's told me about, but the fucker called the cops on me a week or so ago for rattling his windows with my music at 2 AM...

 

I don't blame him for calling the cops.

 

Have I ever called the cops when he's out at night popping his BB gun at stray animals? No.

Despite how much I dislike it, and how I've talked to him about that shit in the past (and what would happen if I ever caught him plugging one of my animals,) I never took the cowardly way out and called the fucking cops...

If he were a real man, he'd confront me directly. Fucking pussy. Maybe he remembers all the times I unloaded rounds late at night from the patio, but I digress...

 

"Uh, excuse me Mr. Lomo, but could you please turn down your 'dancing queen' LP? It is really late and you are scaring the neighborhood children"

BOOOOM



Yea, Id have sent the cops too....

 

Well, call the cops on him if he's out at night shooting at little animals. All's fair.

Neighbors suck. I hate mine. Not all but one house in particular.