Try the dog food diet

Discussion in 'Jokes, Funny Stories and other Text.' started by Joeslogic, Jan 24, 2008.

  1. Joeslogic

    Joeslogic Active Member

    Messages:
    8,426
    Purina Dog Food

    The next time someone asks you a dumb question
    wouldn't you like to respond like this?....

    Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog
    chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.
    A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had,
    an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do,
    on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was
    starting the Purina Diet again.

    Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up
    in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
    awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
    orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
    and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
    Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry
    and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
    again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line
    was by now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive
    care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a
    curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear and a car hit us
    both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
    heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
     
  2. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

    Messages:
    5,606

    Ok, I admit that I laughed.
     
  3. Lomotil

    Lomotil Active Member

    Messages:
    10,267
    I feel bad, now (OK, not really)... I did the same thing with a gullible cashier when I was buying canned food. She asked about the dog, and I replied that I was making chili for the church picnic.
     
  4. MAJ Havoc

    MAJ Havoc Active Member

    Messages:
    3,123
    Mmmm, dog food chili. Wash it down with a Chihuahua.
     

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