Vote: How Should I Kill My Sick Modem?

The only thing worse than a device that doesn't work is one that works half the time, and even then badly - for at least you know where you stand with the former.

So shortly I'll have this current POS modem replaced, and will then be at leisure to finally vent my accumulated frustrations on it in an utterly childish yet ultimately cathartic ritual.

How would you like to see the ol' USR/3Com expire:

A) Disintegrated in a rapid-fire hail of 9mm rounds? (my first choice)

B) Completely smashed by a series of full-force blows from a 6-pound mini-sledge?

C) Launched into the ether (or more likely the nearest neighbor's house) propelled by kit-rocket charges?

D) Run over multiple times with my car?

E) __(fill in the blank)___ ?

 

E) Smash it with a house-brick.

I think you'll find the pysical attachment much more satisfying.

 

E)Send it to Afganistan. Once the Towel heads find out its from America, I'm sure they will take care of it...

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wank:
E)Send it to Afganistan. Once the Towel heads find out its from America, I'm sure they will take care of it...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You could even send it to Afghanistan... they maybe better...

 

Oh, A) definately!

 

E) send it to me...

don't destroy perfectly good hardware.. i'll find a use for it

 

Unfortunately, it's NOT 'perfectly good'. A listing of its sins:

1) Inability to negotiate a connection several times each day, no particular time period, no pattern (typical error msg: "Unable to negotiate acceptable protocol with remote server"; less frequently "remote server does not answer")

2) When it does obtain a connection, it does so in a degraded fashion (no error correction, no compression) which increases page loading time by 100-400%.

3) After sputtering along as described above for about 5-10min, it then drops the connection; subsequent redial attempts result in either #1 or #2 (but this time at 33k instead of the usual 50k)


Then again, about half the time it works fine... until I really need to check or send email, or upload/download something.

IMO, modems and parachutes are both devices for which 50% reliability is absolutely unacceptable.

If you still feel the desire to obtain this wonderfully unpredictable device...hmmm, this gives me an idea.

More to come - film at 11, etc...

 

Ah, well... seems Martin, that pathetic lush, still hasn't got the FuglyBay code straightened out so I'm unable to place the modem for auction.

So, Pimp, while I'd originally planned to execute it at sunrise, I'll grant it a temporary reprieve in consideration of those who want to dicker in order to....

OWN EMETIC'S OLD P.O.S. MODEM !

 

i'll give you a buck, a half eaten twinkie and a button.. whaddayasay?

 

44 desert eagle, accept no substitute!
It`s a bastard to control but makes such a bang it`s almost worth missing a few times!
Enjoy!

 

Since my first encounter with crappy technology I've wanted to start up a business where people can come to trash computers, TVs, videos, stereos photocopiers, fax machines etc..etc..
They could, for a small fee, choose from a range of methods of destruction of the offending articles. Throwing them off the roof, various bashing, smashing, melting and exploding methods.
I think I'd make a fortune.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Disorder bid:
a buck, a half eaten twinkie and a button..<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
{glances at Pimp} Going once...

 

{scans the room Stranger, was that a leisurely scratch, or an offer of your grotty panties?


Going twice...

 

Are you saying you'll do my laundry if I take it off your hands?

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Emetic:

Disorder bid:
a buck, a half eaten twinkie and a button..

{glances at Pimp} Going once...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

a fully eaten twinkie...