http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml Yup.....he was attempting to have sex with a bike.
Besides the obvious mental derangement that would cause him to be aroused by a bicycle, I can't help but wonder why it would be illegal for him to do so in the (partial) privacy of his own room?
I think the funniest thing I ever saw like that was the guy that got his 'junk' stuck in the pools filtration unit in a hotel pool, apparently the pressure made the junk swell and he couldnt get out of it. 1) Why would someone do something like that 2) He was actually small enough to get in it......
I wonder, too. Who's the victim if one is screwing an inanimate object? And how do you do it? Really, I need to know. I have a bike. And a garage. Soft light. Barry White CDs. "Real Dolls" are to costly.
You know, this might sound far fetched, but i knew a guy years ago (not a friend, you understand) who did exactly this. He was fairly normal-ish when i first met him, but he was into doing copious amounts of base speed and drove himself a bit mental. He had a prized racing bike which he used to lovingly dismantle and put back together. He stripped it all down with nitromors (DAILY!) and at the same time spray painted his small, poorly ventilated boxroom with silver, metallic paint where he lovingly lubed each cantilever and ball bearing. Every part of it. He would turn up at people's houses with just the frame minus the wheels, and covered in grease himself would wrap himself around it and talk about it as being a part of himself as he had so finely attuned it to his being. There was rumour he was...merging with it...completely. And if you knew the guy and the other wondrous tales he starred in, you could easily believe it. He also had a small, third nipple.
That last inanimate object I had sex with, I married (that could border on necrophilia, I suppose). Oh, and a sock. And a bread bag. And once with a banana peel. Oh, yeah, a watermelon and a cantaloupe (not at the same time, mind you. I'm not a freak.) Just that and my Fleshlight.
Maybe he was trying to make a bike/human hybird to win the olympics with. No rule against not competing if you natural feet are wheels right?
No really this guy had to register as a sex offender. This is a perfect example of why the sex offender registry is a bunch of bullshit. This guy was in a hotel room humping his huffy and they came in to clean the room. Yes humping a bike is strange but it's not something that the guy belongs on a sex registry for. The sex reg needs to be rewrote to only include violent sex offenders and not the people who are caught like this or watching a goddamn porno. I mean really from now on in this area every women seen or caught with a sex toy has to be arrested do to this man.
I never screwed my bike (but I jerked off on her handlebars). I think Alabama has passed (or soon will pass) a ban on sex toys, (http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jVTk0RxEEvO0n78b2XK1H8vSPXiQD8S0L3FO1) causing some stores some grief. There hasn't been a door to door raid yey but I am volunteering my services as vulva inspector to insure no miscreants are hiding contraband in their persons.
She was just asking for it huh? The registry here just keeps them away from schools, parks, bus stops, grocery stores, malls, libraries, movie theatres, churches, and playgrounds. Other than that they are free to roam.
