It's not really any secret, I am the worlds biggest moldy douchebag this side of the Mason dixon line (other side is held by Melvin Fleebish, Congrats buddy!). Anyway, I haven't seen this person sense 1993ish? She pops up on myspace, wanting to know "hey do you remember me?" Gee, i don't know, you turn me into the sheriff for selling drugs because you THINK I an fucking your best friend. Hmmm maybe I remember, just a LITTLE bit. Anyway, i kinda pass it off, I really could care less if she lives or dies. then another message, "did you not get my last message"? *sigh*okay, you can't leave well enough alone, so here is the reply "yes I did" the another, and another message, ugh. So I finally reply, "yeah I'm in the early stages of liver failure, with pamcreatitus, other than that, life is fucking peachy." So you would think, that would kinda cement the deal, that I really don't want to talk to her, or anyone for that reason. The MORE messages come. about life, the family, how many puppies she has shit out, etc. Then she leaves me an out, a very subtle one, "Is there anything I can do for you? Please let me know" Subtle right? how to use this to my advantage, AHA!!! It hits me, I reply very short and brief, "Well I will be a new person after the surgery, it's the waiting that sucks. I guess you can help, what is your blood type?" Like Magic, I hear absolutely nothing fucking else, so I send the "hey did you get my message?" and no response. Simple, make people think you are going to ask them for part of their liver, kidney, what have you, and they are just guilted into shame and leave you alone. I share, because i care, the more you know.
fuck no, I am not going through you fucking with my old girlfriends. I have already had one cockgobbler call the Sheriff on me for posting a joke
Tell them: "Hey. I'm really glad to hear from you. I have been trying to locate you through privateeye.com but I must have been getting old information. Anyway... I hate to tell you this through a PM, but you may want to get yourself checked out for well, HIV. I have about 42 other people to tell, so you can imagine that I won't have time to discuss all the details with you. Best of luck and sorry 'bout that. Just remember, Magic Johnson is still kicking and he's had it since 1991!" I would imagine that might shut them up or at least make them shit themself and run out and get a blood test.
What would ever make you think I would mess with her?? I would not mess with her i would just ask her to come see me and do dirty stuff with each other. Then when she get's to mu house I pull out a potato and some propane. Tell her to bend over and shoot that fucking tator right up her ass. hhhmmmm tator tots anyone?
