Barry, here's one for you. I went to the beach all last week. Saturday to Saturday. I took my drunken friend with me and, for the first 4 or 5 days he didn't act out of the ordinary at all. He spent all day just like he regularly does, angry and pissed off and treating everyone like shit, recovering from a hangover but, at night, when the rest of us all went to sleep, he'd drink himself stupid and wander around the halls of the hotel, meeting other drunk people on their way home from the bars and generally acting like an idiot. A happy idiot but an idiot none the less. On Wednesday, he said he felt tired and didn't drink hardly anything. He had about six beers and went to sleep. For the rest of the vacation he said he felt tired but still didn't drink very much. On Thursday he had about 4 beers and went to bed fairly early (around 1) and on Friday he woke up and said he felt great. That evening, the day before we had to head home, he had 2 drinks and fell asleep at midnight and woke up at 8 and packed up and drove home. We stopped at a friend's house and he drank three beers, then a Red Bull, then he sat and talked to everyone until 11 and then drove home. Normally he power-drinks and relies on someone else getting him home. Sunday he said he was anxious to get back to his normal routine, lifting weights in the evening and then anesthetizing himself until he falls asleep. He said his left arm and shoulder were sore because he was lifting so much and so on Sunday night he didn't go to the gym. He went to the movies, came home, drank about 4 beers and fell asleep at 11 and woke up this morning at 6 and worked all day until about 6 PM. Tonight I was sure he was going to make up for it by getting totally annihilated but, instead, he went to the store and bought a six pack (instead of his usual 12, when there are still a few beers in the fridge) and he had 5 of them and fell asleep on the couch. He woke up about an hour ago and all the guy wanted was chocolate chip cookies and milk. He drove to the store and bought some Chips-s-hoy and a granola bar and ate the granola bar on the way back. When he got back I asked him it he wanted a drink and he said, "No." He went outside and smoked a cigarette, came back in, opened another beer and took a sip and then put it down and went in and got some cookies and milk. He is sitting there, eating milk and cookies like they are the greatest thing in the World and watching the Discovery Channel and he looks totally content. I pretty positive he's going to eat them and then fall asleep. What the hell happened to him, is what I want to know? He just felt bad and didn't drink for one night at the beach and now all the guy wants to do is eat cookies and get to bed at a reasonable hour. Is that normal? Can people just quit like that? Normally.... "normally", he drinks like an 18-pack and then passes out but lately he's acting like a regular person. What can I do to make that stick for the guy? Oh yeah, and I think I told you in another thread. We went fishing one day and I caught a 21" flounder. I'll show you the pics when they post them. Martin wasn't there for the fish, so I don't think that had anything to do with it.
Maybe your friend needs another vacation. Stress is the main reason people drink anyway. Or maybe it's the chocolate chip cookies. They are fairly addictive you know. Or maybe your friend actually got laid while he was on vacation. That can improve your outlook on life greatly. Or maybe the pain he had in his left arm and shoulder is a sign of an impending heart attack, and the body is just preparing itself for the inevitable. Or maybe switching back to the green forum color reminded him of a happier time, and he is now more content with life. Hell, I don't know. If he stays sober, let me know. Maybe we can market his method.
That's why they call it 'practicing' medicine, I guess. I think the chocolate chip cookies deserve more research.
The detail is scary. Nauseous when I start to burn out I think I'll just got to the extream and try to make it quick, fun, and painless. Meanwhile my wife keeps upping the life insurance.
I'm waiting for the continuation... So Thursday night, he gets home from work and has to shit really badly. He sits on the toilet until his right leg falls asleep trying to pass his stool. Finally, after about 30 minutes and reading 6 articles out of 2 Ladies Home Journals, he passes his stool. When he looks down, he sees that it is shaped like a beer can. He decides not to flush it right away, so he washes his hands and proceeds to eat some milk and cookies. He doesn't drink anything but milk all night long! He watches an hour of "Mama's Family" and decides to go to bed. When he went in the bathroom, he sees that the beer can stool is gone! Now he's thinking that maybe he: 1) didn't really take a shit or 2) flushed the toilet and didn't realize it. He thought that since he was on the toilet so long, that there might still be a faint telltale semicircle impression from the toilet seat on his buttocks, so he bends over in front of the bathroom mirror to inspect himself... Someone please take it from here...
Only sissies and people from Texas get cirrhosis. Being genetically gifted, I (along with my drunken friend) are immune to that. Can I offer you a drink?
Shades of night are falling and I'm lonely Standing in the kitchen feeling blue I reach for some cookies and eat them one by one Guess I'll wind up like I always do, with only Me and my shadow (I mean friend) Drinking lots of beer Me and my shadow And one of us is queer And when it's twelve o'clock and we reach down our pants We never have to pull the shades, 'cause no one gives us a glance Just me and my shadow... I mean friend All alone and feeling blue -or when you 'guys' are feeling happy- Like semen sticks to pubic hair Like yellow clings to pee Like you'll never get rid of your shadow (I mean friend) Jefe, you'll never get rid of me Let all the others fight and fuss Whatever happens, we've got us. Me and my shadow (I mean friend) We're closer than pages that stick in porno mag We're closer than nipples that hang on a hag Strolling down the avenue Wherever you find him, you'll find me, the fag Closer than an STD or a hooker with VD Me and my shadow (I mean friend) We're closer than shit when it clings to an ass We're closer than Dwaine is to his glass Not a soul can bust this team in two We stick together like glue
Where did you get this Pukey? Is it original? If you wrote it, I have to say that it is fairly brilliant. Maybe Major can put it to music when he gets back from playing army.
No. I was making fun of Jefe and his "friend" because I think he was talking about himself and not his friend. Either that or like someone else said earlier... they are 'life partners'. Because no one should pay that close attention to someone else unless they are stalkerific. I changed some words to a Frank Sinatra song and a Perry Como song... "Me and my Shadow" because that's what Jefe made me think of. It was meant to be a joke and I didn't understand why it scared him. I think Jefe may be a little unbalanced.
I really enjoy changing words to songs. It's a good time. I will have post some songs in the "music" section. I'm not very original. I like to take something that someone else has done and redo it.
