So I had my very first Prostate exam today.

Yeah long story short, been backed up the last few days. Had a small movment today had blood a bit of blood in it. I didn't have any pain when it happened so it freaked me out.

Ended up at the ER got a finger in my ass and I get to drink an entire bottle of Mag Citrate tonight when I get home undiluted.

Yeah but my prostate is healthy. I my blood count is good nothing is really wrong with me he said I'm pretty healthy.

Just my Colan is packed to the brim. He actually said their could be 25 to 30 pounds of solid waste in there. and that only the greasy and wetter movements have been getting thru.

 

That's a lovely story, Grim, and you tell it so well.

Could be some fissures causing your visceral crimson stools. No real reason to freak out but kudos for getting a professional look. Its not worth ignoring such signs for fear of discovering a difficult truth. Did the Doc have hangnails, a Super Bowl ring, and swollen, arthritic joints?

 

Nope he just rolled me over and shoved it home.

 

can i have his number?

 

That wasn't his finger.

 

Headee looks like in the avatar of yours, you could give Grim a tickle as well.

 

Did he give you a "reach around"?

 

No he didn't the fucker and I bet my insurance paid for his next BMW.

 

i bet it's something really horrible like Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. sorry

 

Can I have yours?

 

....or the free Government cheese.

http://www.glossynews.com/artman/publish/gov-cheese.shtml


Barry

 

my finger is going nowhere grim's ass. he's always talking about having the taco shits and all...

 

Come on, hook a brother up. He may need your help. Lend him a hand (just wash it afterwards.)

 

okay, but if my finger comes back with any "presents" attached, i'm flinging them at you.

 

I remember my first prostate exam. Fort Knox, KY (thank goodness for the KY) military exam. After thrusting his Paul Bunyan sized digit into my nether region the doctor asked if I was experiencing any discomfort. What a lose/lose situation. If I say “yes,” am I revealing some sort of physical ailment that will have me booted out before indoctrination? If I say “no,” does that mean other foreign objects have already pioneered their way in? If I moan and back into him, can I just go home, now? I was thinking, “Other than the fact I’m winding your Rolex with my brown-eye, everything’s peachy.” I think, because it was Kentucky, we may have been married by common law for a brief moment until the next G.I. got up close and personal with Doc Oc (bigamy is illegal, you know.) Anyway, I know it was unpleasant for you, Grim. Hope alls well in your end. TMI???

 

Everything is cool, I was surprised they told me I was in good health really.

But after taking that stuff last night and shitting for 4 hours I feel like a new man today feel lighter and feel like I have more energy then I have had in years.

 

Hell, defication is the shit.

 

Hell yeah I plan on drinking a bottle of that stuff once a year. The great thing about it.

It tasted just like a cherry jolly rancher. I mean if someone was so inclined to mix that shit up in someones drink they would never know.....

 

Regular Mag citrate is lemon lime, and mixes well in sprite, Seirra Mist, Mountain Dew, Mellow Yellow, 7-up, and ginger-ale verynicely...

not that I was ever a pissed off bartender, who had to clean up a shitty bathroom one time, or anything...

 

FUCK YOU!! I THINK YOU are a LYING FAT SAC OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!