Would someone please shoot me?

My wife is watching American Idol at this moment, cackling and calling her friends during the commercials talking about how "sweet" Simon is being tonight.

Please, somebody, put me out of my misery.


Barry

 

I hate that show so much I don't even want to start talking about it.

Break your t.v.

 

The thought has crossed my mind.


Barry

 

I told you, Mr. Cheney is on the way. Be patient Barry.

 

I've never seen that show, but it looks like torture.

 

Is that some form of an oxymoron?

 

Maybe my superior mental powers are rubbing of on you people . . Time for a little test .. *focusses mental powers* . . . . Okay here goes .. . : .. Its red . .but its not a strawberry. . .*sending image over the ether* . .

 

[quote="SPOooOnMaybe my superior mental powers are rubbing of on you people . . Time for a little test .. *focusses mental powers* . . . . Okay here goes .. . : .. Its red . .but its not a strawberry. . .*sending image over the ether* . .[/quote]

Your hemerrhoid?

 

Hmm I must find a way to concentrate my powers. . Is smurf on?

 

Back on topic, people.

We're trying to murder Bary.

 

I was trying.. Barry's severely enlarged cranium is making it difficult for me to directly connect to his brainstem ...

 

Here I am to save the daaaay!

 

Ah there you are .. .. My minions have used all my tin foil to create mini barbeques after my gift of fire ... can I borrow some of yours ?

 

For your nefarious purposes? I think not. Tinfoil was only meant for good.

 

I used to have a neighbor who'd come over to exchange a can of soup (she wouldn't just take what she needed, she insisted on trading--I got some chilli for my manwich mix once) or to borrow weird stuff.

One night she was over looking for some tinfoil and my wife gave her the rest of ours. The very next night she was over again, looking for more tinfoil.

I told her we gave her the rest of ours not 20 hours ago.

With a straight face and a bit of indignity, she said, "Well I thought you would have gone to the store. Wal Mart's just down the street."

I wished her luck on her nightly scavenger hunt. Anytime she'd knock on our after that, I'd tell her I didn't have any spare cans to trade, but Wal Mart is just down the street.

 

bloody brilliant

 

I always answer my door naked, greased up all over with crisco, and an erection... 'THE GREAT GLISTNIN!!!!"

 

Oh and my chan=pine-ship wrasslin' belt... no contenders, mormans are pussies

 

I still have my Hulkamaniacs belt from the good ol' days....and you better believe brother, I answer my door after training hard, saying my prayers, taking my vitamins, with I am a Real Amercian just cranked on my ghetto blaster!

 

Whatever. The girlscout still sells you all her cookies, so don't act all hard.