I'm always kinda anxious to buy this type of game, supposed to sport great graphics and inventive gameplay. A sure way to be let down, anyone remember fade 2 black, or almost any video-cd game back in the 90's ? Lucky for me this game proved me wrong. The storyline : A synopsis Guy rides into temple on horse, and puts girl on pedestal. Bit short, but thats actually it. No history, no great battles, no nothing. First thing you notice is the immence clipping distance, allowing for some luscious scenery stretching away to the horizon, all sepia coloured for reasons yet to be discovered. The (nameless) main character is, in sharp contrast to his surroundings, surprisingly low-poly. His animations seem almost clumsy, definetely not the macho moves of G.O.W. protagonist Kratos. The enormous horse upon which he rides looks a lot like the one from the n64 Zelda games (shame on me for forgetting his name) and is used for the same purpose, getting from A to B. And believe you me, there is a lot of B to get to from A. A rumbling comes from the sky, and an impossibly silly godlike voice informs you of your quest. Yes ladies and gentlemen, its kill the foozle time. Again. Aparently, to raise your female friend from the dead (ahhh . she's dead, that explains why she's not moving much.. ) you need to please God by running around and killing these things called colossi. Which is where the game starts. Lack of information is what this game runs on, and this works surprisingly well. No handy tutorial to start you of in the right direction, you are left alone in a desolate world. Navigating is done by thrusting your sword towards the heavens, letting it catch sunlight, and seeing where the light focusses. Of towards the distant mountains we go. After a short ride on horseback, the road suddenly runs out. Some protruding bushes tell me it's lara croft time, and after a few tries i'm swinging from outcropping to outcropping toward the top of a cliff. CUTSCENE My fucking God, killing these colossi won't prove as easy as i first thought.. these things are gigantic And this is where the tricky bit starts. God informs you that you can use the swords to find the giants voonerables. And thats all she wrote. Not telling you how you are supposed to get rid of your enemies is a great way of getting you involved in this game. Running around, trying to dodge feet the size of minivans and a club the size of an airbus(!) really gets the old blood pumping. After a couple of tries you'll realize you have to climb the giant to do any damage, and this is no simple task. Simply running up to the monster and grabbing on will make you geography faster then you can say "Horrible feet of death are coming to get me!!". If and when you finally manage to scale the giant, his weak spots become apparent. An aimed thrust from your sword, and the colossus keels over, allowing you to climb even higher. Or maybe not. As soon as you start climbing his leg, the colossus stands up, and you have to hold on for dear life. A bar on the bottom of the screen starts to diminish rapidly, informing you that now wouldn't be a bad idea to get some ground under your feet, before you plummet to your death. Lucky for us bits of ruined building are protruding from the giant, which allow us to climb higher and higher. A final thrust between the eyes, a bit of bullet time, and the colossus keels over, dead. Dark tendrils shoot out from its body, impaling me to the ground. What the?! .. darkness . . You awaken in the temple where you started, without a clue of what just happened. But no rest for the wicked, God immediately points you in the direction of your next target. A minute to catch my breath, and i'm off to kill my next Foozle! YEEEHAWW
thanks for not fuckin replyin. .you ingrates. .thats the last time i spend five hours with a thesaurus ..
Didnt the forum heading say no fe-males allowed? . . oh wait .. it didn't .. that can be fxed though. . .go play with your my little pony stable set ..
Women gamers suck... they are ussually like "lets play echo the dolphin!!" shut up bitch, get away from my console before I go all rick james on you and torture you with a hot crack pipe
The original GTA kicked ass. I thought parking the tanker truck under the police station and blowing it up was hilarious.
