Ridgid Tools

Discussion in 'General Mayhem' started by ucicare, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. diogenes

    diogenes New Member

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    2,881
    Yeah, I imagine listening to people bitch all day about how their parents didn't get them a puppy when they were a kid would make you want to punch them in the throat. I heard a statistic somewhere, don't know if it's true, but the 2 groups that trade back and forth for the highest divorce rates are therapists and police officers. If that's true, it's indicative of the stress they deal with on a daily basis.
     
  2. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

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    11,130
    You know hes bullshitting, he needs tools to dismember patients that look at him wrong
     
  3. diogenes

    diogenes New Member

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    2,881
    I forgot, therapist only punch people in the throat until they get there doctorate, then they commence with the dismemberment. Since they're now licensed medical practicioners, and all that.
     
  4. chester grape

    chester grape New Member

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    2,784
    ... yeah, anyway, congrats on the instant workshop Bazza. There's nothing quite as fulfilling as opening the shed door and gazing in wonder at your collection of power tools.

    Makes me want to crack open a beer just thinking about it.
     
  5. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

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    5,606

    I am actually a pretty caring and competent therapist. The reason that I am so raw with you is because -

    1. You are mentally ill.

    2. You are in denial.

    3. You are not paying me $120.00 an hour to be nice to to you.


    Happy Chemtrails to you Smurf.


    Barry
     
  6. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

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    5,606
    I have got to take a picture of the new Redneck mobile. I built shelves and everything in the van. It looks like a Nissan Quest on the outside, and Tim's Tool Wagon on the inside. I am ALMOST embarrassed to drive it.

    The ladder on top is the coolest part. I love living in the South. Nobody will even give it a second look.

    Barry
     
  7. diogenes

    diogenes New Member

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    2,881
    Admit it, you just made in your pants as you were typing that.
     
  8. TheGrimJesus

    TheGrimJesus New Member

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    3,893
    Yeah they will, They will spit in there cup and say to themselfs I wish I had that and that fellar had a feather in his ass. *spit*
     
  9. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

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    5,606

    :lol:

    No doubt.


    Barry
     
  10. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

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    5,606

    Let me tell you what I learned today -

    1. A Ridgid finish nailer can drive a nail clean through 3/4 inch plywood and still imbed a nail 1" into your finger.

    2. A "biscuit saw" cuts the coolest patterns into your thumbnail that you have ever seen.

    3. After an air compressor has run for about 10 minutes it will blister your finger if you touch it.

    4. When a deck screw hits a metal plate it it will shatter, and the pieces have to be dug out of your arm with tweezers.

    5. Your will blow brown boogers from your nose if you cut fiber board without wearing a dust mask.

    6. A ladder rated of 225 lbs is really only able to carry about 250 lbs before it folds up like a card table.

    7. Emergency room Doctors think it is funny if you come in with a "huge" wood splinter imbedded in your hand, and it turns out to be about 1/4" long when they dig it out. (After injecting your hand with Xylocaine)


    I love being a real man. Anyone want to buy a few slightly used tools?


    Barry
     
  11. TheGrimJesus

    TheGrimJesus New Member

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    3,893
    You know the funny part, I felt this post would end this way.
     
  12. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

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    5,606
    But I feel GOOD about it.

    I think that I will practice with my new sledgehammer tomorrow.



    Barry
     
  13. TheGrimJesus

    TheGrimJesus New Member

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    3,893
    Remember the first rule of Sledge Hammering, Short grip overhead swing straight to the balls.
     
  14. diogenes

    diogenes New Member

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    2,881
    UCICARE said...

    Man, in it's own sick and twisted way this is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I don't laugh out loud very often, but that was fucking hilarious.
     
  15. smurfslappa

    smurfslappa New Member

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    1,361
    Come on dude :? When I got a metal shard stuck in my leg from when I was splitting wood I dug it out from under my skin and sewed it shut myself.
     
  16. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

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    11,130
    I hear ya John Rambo... I mean Hyme Rambonio
     
  17. ucicare

    ucicare Active Member

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    5,606
    Hyme Rambonio - now that is funny Dwaine.

    I did try to dig the splinter out. I actually thought I might need a tetnus shot, so I just went to the E.R.

    I have embedded a 12/0 stainless steel fish hook through the bone of my middle finger before. I pulled it out with pliers and fished the rest of the weekend. So there. My Rambo is bigger than your Rambo, Smurf.

    Barry
     
  18. diogenes

    diogenes New Member

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    2,881
    At what point did stabbing yourself with objects and fishing them out yourself become a positive character trait?
     
  19. smurfslappa

    smurfslappa New Member

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    Well I had a better story, but I thought it was too tough to put on here. That oppressive 3rd world regime had it coming though.

    And Dwaine, I think your tribe is calling:

    BUM bum bum bum BUM bum bum bum BUM bum bum bum....
     
  20. Dwaine Scum

    Dwaine Scum New Member

    Messages:
    11,130
    Wanna buy an Authintic Dream catcher?
     

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