I went out to eat yesterday, I got done with my meal and got the urge to take a dump. So I made my way to the can. I walked in and opened the stall door and to my shock someone had blowen ass all over the raised toilet lid. I mean they shit so hard there was splatter agaist the wall. How can someone pull this off, It is by the far the sickest thing I have seen in awhile. That is not counting the Berry and Rat love tape that is over at strangeland.
Once, during my sixth grade science fair, I succeeded in launching a turd. There was no actual 'lid,' as these were government contract building supply toilets, but it did clear not only the hole, but the back of the toilet seat, as well. There I was, minding my display on energy recycling, and the urge to shit came upon me. So, seeing that the judges were a few aisles away from my quaint cardboard display, I eased my way down the auditorium towards the bathrooms. I've always had this thing about sitting on toilet seats that aren't my own, so as per usual, I hunched over and tried to calculate the precise vector and exit velocity needed to: a) swan dive a turd into the water, and b) not splash myself in the process. As the turd readied itself for expulsion, I was disappointed to discover that it was just a mediocre shit-plug waiting to exume itself, and the real pressure involved here was within the massive fart that was immediately behind it (or, in front of it, depending on how you look at it - for the sake of argument, let's just call it 'rostrally adjacent' to the shitplug). The sound of a gunshot could be heard as the dung bullet exited with such force that it actually stuck to the ceramic tiles behind the toilet, even after grazing the chrome water pipe that fed the ceramic shit-chugging device. It looked like someone had shot a giant spitwad made out of brown construction paper and corn. I should've won the science fair on that alone.
