Post your favorite Christmas song lyrics thread!!!

I met her at a donkey show.
She was minutes past thirteen.
Sucking on a cherry yoo-hoo.
Reading "Nugget" magazine.
Cum splattered tube-top.
Scrawny pre-pube tits.
That's when I saw she was quadraplechick.
And I said "Baby you're looking good"
That's when I noticed her legs were wood
I grabbed a stump and dragged her out the door
I need a hole
I don't need no hips
I laid a line of coke on her tits
That's when I ripped off her dirty shit-filled drawers
[Chorus:]
Good, should, could, I think it feels pretty good [x2]
So good, so good, so good, so good, so good, so good [x a lot]
It wasn't nothing pretty, she took my genital germ
Her limbless body thrashed about filled with infected sperm
I criss-crossed with the cables,
I smashed her face through a door
They found her in a plastic bag down by highway 64
And I said "Baby your looking good"
That's when I saw her legs were wood
And all you people...
You just can't understand
I need a hole
I don't need know hips
I need the taste of dick on my lips
I fucked her asshole with a piece of frozen shit
[Chorus]

 

Sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells."

Verse 1
Dashing down the aisles, credit card in hand,
wanting all you see, and buying all you can.
Bells on registers ring, making merchants bright,
what fun it is to shop and spend with credit cards tonight!

Chorus

Oh! Juggle bills, juggle bills, juggle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to shop with credit cards today, hey!
Juggle bills, Juggle Biils, Juggle all the way!
Oh what fun it is spend beyond your means to pay!

verse 2
Off to work we go, work all day like rats,
take it to the mall, and spend it on our brats.
Making one today, spending five tonight
What fun it is to shop and spend and then go home and fight! (chorus)

verse 3

Dashing down the aisles, with a wobbly shopping cart
sniffing out the deals, at Penneys and Wal-Mart
A hole burns in my pants, from a red hot credit card.
I just don't think that Christmas, should really be this hard (chorus)

 

I changed my mind about the $100 you owe me. Don't send it back, just use it to get some therapy.

 

That's GWAR.

 

HAHA Im about to leave to go to a Gwar show... and have back stage passes... and I hate them ... and Im 7.5 months pregnant (CLASSY)

I never understood the X mas song "Walking in a winter wonder land" the lyric

"are you married ... no ma'am ... but you can do the job when you're in town" something like that ....what does that mean ?

 

That she'll marry him while he's there.

 

It's actually:

He'll say, "Are you married?" We'll say, "No man, but you can do the job when you're in town."

I know this because I sang it everyday for months for choir class.

 

snowman named parson brown, or something.

 

yeah.. mystery solved

"Parson Brown" is the term used to talk about a typical angelican priest of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. "Parson Brown" is not an actual person (though he might have been at some time), but a figure of speech, like "John Doe" is an unidentified male and "Charley" is a watchman. "Parson" by itself means minister.

The classic line from Winter Wonderland:
"In the meadow we can build a snowman
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say 'Are you married ?', We'll say 'No man,
For you can do the job when you're in town.'"
Sure, it sounds like some kind of sexual reference, but its not. It's just a priest asking a couple if they are married. They reply that they are not and that they will wait for him to "do the job" of marrying them when he comes to their town.

 

thanks for clearing that up .... for years I have wondered what the fuck that song was about.


now what does the Elvis song mean??? Met you like a man on a fuzzy tree?

 

He says, "I'm itchin' like a man on a fuzzy tree" Clears it up a little but I didn't know that fuzz was itchy.

 

I never know the words to any songs.... for years I wondered what "clowns in my coffee" ment from the song -Your SO Vain. but now I know it was clouds not clowns....

and I still dont know what U2 is saying in "Streets Have no Name" sounds like he says .... "I see my toaster disappear , without a trace"

 

I WROTE this one people. Can I at least get a little love?

 

Well, it's actually really good. I didn't realize that you wrote it.

 

I had to go listen to it, sounds like dust cloud, but I can totally hear toaster too.

I actually think I may have been singing, "dumpsta" all of this time. I sing shit wrong all of the time.

AND

Ukrainian Bell Carol, my fave X-mas song.

 

Thanks. i love you too.

It's 9:00Pm and I am just leaving the office on a Sunday. Can anyone remind me why I do this?

 

To support your meth habit, you like working more than honking on bo-bos.

 

10 points for origionality. I assumed you just cut and pasted it from somewhere.

 

It's a career and not a job?

 

Re-hashing last year's contribution

Twas the night before Spam-mas and all through the forum
The spammers were blasting and we couldn’t ignore ‘em
The rants were all posted on the website with care,
In hopes that St. Harlan soon would be there
Joeslogic was snuggled all safe in his bed
While visions of Viagra danced in his head
And headee in her nightie, and I in my jimmy,
Had just settled down for a long sweaty shimmy,
When out on the lawn there arose such amok,
I sprang from the bed to yell, “WTF?”
Away to the window I ran like a deer,
Grabbed a small trash can and threw up some beer
When what to my bloodshot eyes was appearing
An old Volkswagen and 8 Fuglydites nearing
With a little old driver, so nerdy and darlin’
I knew in a moment it must be St. Harlan
More vapid than ‘Chichi his misfits they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Nursey! now, Phatboy! now, Tommy and ‘Mate!
On, Smiles! on Grimmy! on, Barry and ‘Grape!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now piss away! piss away! piss away all!"
As lawn chairs that during a hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the misfits they flew,
With the car full of drugs, and St. Harlan too.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Harlan came with a bound.
He was dressed all in spandex, from his head to his toes,
And he flexed and he vogued and he then struck a pose;
A bundle of spam he had poised on his head,
And he smirked like Smurfslappa winning the “last to post” thread
His eyes -- how they darted! his skin was so blotched!
He shook like a wino who’d just run out of scotch!
The stump of a crackpipe that was fashioned by Dwaine,
Was stuck in his mouth whilst he applied a flame
He had a pocked face and a little round ass,
That puckered, when he laughed like UT’s crevasse
He was flabby and puny, a right jolly old head,
And I laughed when I saw him just as I would Schmed
A wink of his eye and a twist of his tie,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to buy;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And killed all the spammers; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And snorting a line, up the chimney he rose
He sprang to his Volkswagen, to his team gave a yell,
And away they all flew like the Hounds of Hell.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE SPAM, GET YOUR OWN FUCKING SITE!!"