please profile the habitually late. and try to leave adhd out of it, please. are they overwhelmed? are they completely unaware that other peoples' schedules depend on them to be on time? are they selfish? or are they just stupid?
They actually may be very Narcissistic. People who are late to appointments habitually often just think that they are special. Their time is valuable, yours is not. Preachers are notorious for this. I have actually heard it said many times from preachers - they will show up late for a meeting of some kind, and will say that they did it so that everyone else that was a litttle late wouldn't be "wasting my valuable time." The other possibility is the agoraphobia that follows depression. A person that actually has a fear of interacting with others will be habitually late. It minimizes the time they have to spend in idle chit chat. As requested, I won't mention ....
many thanks. i totally get the preacher thing. i mean, hey - they're either stealing your money, stealing your soul or just being an all-around dick. ok, maybe not all of them. but the agoraphobia thing you mentioned applies to both clients today who showed up late. it's funny too - they run in and run out.
Which kind of validates the depression slant, doesn't it? BTW - I am not poking fun at you Pukey. Depression sucks. One of the best things for it is exercise. The problem is, who feels like exercising when you are depressed?
Well I hate being late I'm usually an hour early for everything. But here as of late I have been sleeping in longer on my work days and usually leaving 20 mins before it's time to get to work. When in the past I was always there an hour ahead of time. Whats that about?
I'm not fucking depressed. I don;t post here out of depressio.n I post out of boredom from being sick in bed. I have no complaints about my life other than that I feel sick and an neurotic. It;s part of who I have been here for years. It is part of my "personality" that has become to have become expected. I'm not a Cymbalta commercial for Jesus christ sake (sorry) I let my dogs outside. I go to work. I do whatever that Steve does (if there is a Steve) and as long as his problem is not erectile dysfunction.
I happen to be habitually, and consistently, late. I've been told since childhood "You're going to be late to your own funeral..." (which, honestly, doesn't sound like such a bad idea, when you think about it, but I digress...) It doesn't matter what the occasion is - I will be there 15 minutes after I am scheduled. Period. People that know me are accommodating (and smart enough) to tell me to be there before they actually expect me. It's just something that I've lived with for my whole life, and I see absolutely no change in the future (I've tried). Part of it stems from the self-valued importance of my time, but I wouldn't phrase it in such a condescending manner as mentioned earlier. It's not that I think that my time is so valuable that others shouldn't have it, rather, it's that I tend to be the most productive in my personal schedule when I have an appointment ahead of me. It may seem hard to understand, but it's just one of my 'things.' I can piss a whole day away without even thinking twice about it, but if I'm on a schedule, I tend to get into 'work mode' and start to turn my attention to things around the house. This is the only way I get motivated to do important shit - if I have other things to put off. I don't expect most people to understand, really, and since you didn't want to hear ADHD as an excuse, I won't mention my diagnosis. I'll just say that the Adderall helps. ...and - I'm still consistently late.
Time management Being on time to someplace is a specified task. The implied tasks are the many steps in between that you must accomplish. Showering, brushing you teeth, dressing, taking out the trash, etc. You must have some idea how long it will take you to do these tasks and backward plan from the time you must arrive back to when you must begin said tasks. You have to be able to anticipate delays and see many steps ahead as in chess or billiards. Visualize the end result and the steps in between versus “left foot-right foot-left foot-right foot.” And above all, you must give a shit or nothing else matters.
I am on time mostly, but I can't get to work on time in the morning because I have bowel issues. For just about everything else, I am on time.
here's what i don't understand about add - adults with this diagnosis have had their entire lives to LEARN SOME COPING SKILLS. buck up and learn how to read a clock.
I hate being late, my wife can't be on time to anything. It drives me nuts. It is time management skills, we will be in the car heading somewhere, 5 minutes early, and she will go, "Hey I need to stop by target real quick and get so and so" it's like if she's on time she will explode. I dont have a set time to be at work, so that makes life easy for me. But if I have a meeting or something I am usually the first one there.
and my husband has the opposite issue - he's so concerned with being on time that he's habitually early to everything. but he's considerate enough to leave early enough to make sure he gets to his destination in a timely manner. plus, he's a good guy and doesn't like to assume that his time is more important than anyone else's.
That's why I keeping getting him gigs early in the evening, so I know he wont be home while I am there.....
Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here, and assume that you're intelligent enough to understand my post - I'm probably wasting my time, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps you don't know me very well, but allow me to defend myself on your pathetic assumption... I'm quite able to read a clock, in fact, I happen to collect rare (and possibly obscure) timepieces. The realization of the passage of time, and the Gregorian calendar we've assimilated, are no strangers to me. If you had any idea of the subject matter to which you were replying (or had any clue on where to research things that you do not understand), not only would have kept your fucking mouth shut, but you might've learned something in the process. This is the perpetual problem with which we encounter. People without any comprehension of a documented disorder make assumptions based on their own experiences and mental condition, to the point that they don't even consider the factors that influence those around them. I, myself, have been guilty of this, before I expanded my comprehension to include those people whom operate on a different wavelength than myself. For clarity, I am not 'putting anybody down' (as some on this forum have chosen to do, instead of offering any productive advice). The bottom line ("improtected" - ignore anything past this sentence, as it'll just fly over your head, and you'll feel the masculine urge to avoid embarrassment...) is that you should research a specific disorder and have some concrete facts in front of you before you start waving the gavel and pointing fingers at things you have absolutely no comprehension of.
Simmer down now. You didn't even know you had ADHD until a few years ago and you went to a shrink, right? According to two different shrinks, I have schizotypal personality disorder (quit going after that) and later diagnosed with cyclothymia... I was to be on Lamictal then Lithium, Prozac, Trazadone, then Ambien. For 10 years... Xanax (every DR gives me that garbage)... According to my GP, I have anxiety, so more Xanax, Tenormin, Zoloft and more Ambien. This was after I have been on Luvox, Paxil, Celexa, Wellbutrin, Effexor (SNRIs), Zoloft (twice now), Lexapro, and Buspar. I'm also sure I have left some out. My point is that I have been a guinea pig for medicine and all I really wanted was some help. A wonder pill would be great, but they don't know what they are doing. They tell you want they think you want to hear and write you an RX to get you the fuck out of their office. You can take your Adderall and say it's cured you (maybe it has), but I think her point is the fact that people want to use their diagnoses as an excuse. And before you get all uppity and act like a dick to someone, you should at least find out what their gender is before you go insulting their intelligence. However, ADHD does cause tardiness. I'm not sure why. I can only imagine ADHD. My thoughts race, but I don't think I am ADHD. I'm sure if I read about it, I'd think I was. So are you like driving to work and see a billboard that makes you think of that time in third grade and... Hey! Look! They have a sale on shoes... that reminds me of that guy yesterday who was wearing neon green shoelaces... neon green, what a gay color, speaking of gay colors look at that guy's shorts, gum on the sidewalk... I should go buy a pack of gum... oh shit, I missed my turn off! Where was I going? Oh yeah, work.
I also want to add my contempt for the usage of SSRIs. I quit taking the Zoloft after a few days and I don't feel any worse and at least I can eat food and shit semi-normally. My muscles don't twitch as badly and I can get to sleep better at night. But I digress... SSRIs I always thought were baby drugs. I thought that they weren't hardcore since they are RX out the ass and they claim that they are not addictive, but take one for a year and quit. You'll get what some call "brian shivers"... this is because SSRIs fuck with your brian chemistry. They cause nerve B to soak up more serotonin, but if your problem isn't the nerve A and nerve B serotonin passage, then you can get what is called "Serotonin Syndrome" which in some cases, can actually fucking KILL you. DR's should know for sure that is your problem before giving you shit that alters your brain chemistry. This is why I will NEVER take another SSRI again. I don't want shit getting fucked up in there on someone else's hunch. END of rant.
Who the hell is brian, and why is he shivering? On a serious note, I feel for you, I couldnt imagine going through all that. Of course I know some who have/are.
