YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRINK

apparently....


IF WOMEN DRINK:

Drink : Beer.
Personality : Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink : Blender drinks with umbrella.
Personality : Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the bum.
Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink : Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink : Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask)
Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Drink : Bacardi Breezer
Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated - actually has
absolutely no clue.
Approach : Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

Drink : Baileys.
Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach : Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Drink : Shorts (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).
Personality : Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach : Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.


IF MEN DRINK - As always, very simple and clear cut.

Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid

Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would have sex with a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky : He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities
(knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Tequila : Piss off you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something with a pulse.

Bacardi Breezer : He's gay (Blatantly).

 

And what are women who drink gallons of sticky man juice?

 

They go by the name of "Wank."

 

Sorry!?!? are you under the impression that Im some sort of slag?

 

No...

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wankah':
A tablespoon of jism isnt too bad. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Better open up wider than that...

 

Or I could just do as you do...

 

Hmmm... and what exactly would that be?

 

eat, drink, recreate and enjoy life?
although not in that order..

 

Well... I dont like bukkake(?)

A tablespoon of jism isnt too bad.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Friar Bitchicus Slapiticus:
Hmmm... and what exactly would that be?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

I have found that dogs really like the taste of antifreeze.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Matthew:
I have found that dogs really like the taste of antifreeze.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

wow, and what happens after they drink it?

 

You should try it. Feed it to your dog.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Matthew:
You should try it. Feed it to your dog.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

hmmmmm, not my baby...

 

ooh, well im sure there are some k9's around the neighborhood that you can experiment on.

 

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Matthew:
ooh, well im sure there are some k9's around the neighborhood that you can experiment on.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

no, i would feel guilty

 

test # 2 billion

 

hehe