OK Barry the last 5 days have been very strange and I can't make head or tails of it. I'll start at the dream and work my way to today. OK about 5 days ago I had a very bizarre dream, I usually don't remember my dreams or having them haven't for years. But the other night I had a dream about my Ex, the girl I almost married in 2000. She dumped me a week before our wedding because her mother told her too. We had found out I could not have kids and her mother wanted Grand Children so I had to go. I was very bitter about it, we where both very upset I mean I loved her it was one of those very passionate relationships, and instead of fighting I just walked away and went into a 2 year drunk til I met my wife now. So anyway the dream was very strange I dreamed I had been speaking with my Ex over the Internet, She is also married now and has a child. So anyway she invited me over to her house and we sat and talked, she told me she missed me and made a mistake blah blah blah. Anyway I woke up in a cold sweat. Kind of freaked me out because I have not thought about her in a year or 2. So flash to yesterday I'm at work and I get on myspace to look for some of my old buddies. I want to get them all together and take a trip to Vegas or something fun. So I'm going thru the list when I hit her Myspace profile it kind of freaked me out. Without even thinking about it I click on it. I can read one of her blogs and I can tell she is not happy, and lonely. I shake it off get off Myspace and go about the rest of my day & night. I get up this morning and head for work, I stop at the gas station to get smokes. I'm standing in line waiting when I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's fucking her! At this point Barry I felt sick. I don't know why it just was the weirdest fucking thing with everything leading up to this. So we made small talk while in line, I got my smokes and was saying goodbye trying not to act all freaked out. When she took my hand and I mean looked me in the eyes and told me she missed me. I just nodded I don't know what to say and I left. I mean she is married I'm married she has a kid. So just now I went to get a smoke and noticed something on my wind shield wiper. She came by my work and left her cell number under it. I have no fucking clue why all this is going on. Was the dream a warning? what the fuck do I do. I got some old feelings bubbling up and I'm confused as hell.
you haven't mentioned how you feel about your wife... if you love your wife then fucking just forget about this woman... she made her bed.. tho at least she never dumped you at the altar.. close tho.. i know the dooood thing to do is to screw her and all that shit... but if you love your wife then you won't want to hurt her... and she DID walk down the aisle with you... feelings schmeelings... phone her if you feel you need to get her out your system and explain how she's your past now... or you could just do the dooood thing.. whatever :?
Masturbate. Run a batch and see how you still feel. Your interest may drip right down your hand. Of course, that's my answer for everything but, yeah, masturbate.
bro first of all don't justify her dumping u by blaming it on her mother.... she's a big girl, like pimp said she made her bed... she is just being greedy by doing what she's doing, it's understandable that you have so much emotional tension but don't confuse it with genuine feelings towards her.... you have a wife that was willing to accept you for all of your flaws and continues to do so..... I’ve been in similar situations, admittedly nowhere near as complicated as yours but for some reason when I break up with a girl I turn into the booty call guy they love to call when they’re in-between boyfriends, it's just bitches being greedy...... she didn't care what happened ot u when she dumped u or what u went through but now she thinks she made a boo-boo?….. whatever your decision is make sure it's one you make with 3 out of 3 thinking tools every man possesses: penis, head, heart,
Smiles I know what you are saying and I understand that. But her mother was a complete control freak I have no way to explain how she was. I mean during the planning of the wedding, We had a small disagreement about some songs and her mother started to walk home. Only problem was we where 100 miles away from home. She home schooled her son and did not allow him to have any friends. He was 17 and only allowed to watch G movies alone, He could watch PG movies as long as someone was with him. As far as my wife I love her to death she basically saved my life because I was drinking and doing crazy shit. We have all been there. I have no idea I think the feelings I have is the simple fact I never got any closer.
Do you really want to deal with her mother again? She fucked you over before, and she'll do it again. Leopards don't change their spots.
Wow, I can't believe that I am agreeing with Pimp. Slaps myself for a reality check... Obviously you have some unresolved feelings for this person. I strongly suggest that you resolve these issues with your brain and not your probiscus. You are married. That is a good thing. An affair will probably destroy your marriage, and they never end up well. Make a conscious choice to love the wife that you have, and to put the other woman behind you. Men can make choices like that. I promise you that nothing good can come from renewing communication with her. I have yet to see an "old flame affair" have a happy ending. and yes i think that dreams can be a warning. Your subconscious picks up a lot. Barry
I agree with Pimp also..and Barry...and what's furthermore I don't feel bad about it at all...you usually disagreeing jerks. But I think part of what Grim was freaking out about was that he dreamt about this girl before he ran into her again. I don't think anyone here is qualified to say anything about that subject. I myself chaulk it up to wierd coincidence. I guess I will repeat (in different words) what Barry said Grim. Sure this ex meant something too you, and sure she may be miserable in her situation now. But this is not your problem (I repeat..NOT YOUR PROBLEM!), not even in the slightest. Any further attempts that this girl makes to contact you should be met with this....a firm confirmation to her that you are happy and love your wife very much, and that as much as you would like to help her, it is putting you in a bad position, one that could potentialy ruin what you have now... and over all is not worth the risk. Let her know that she should not make any further attempts to contact you. If this girl actually cares about you she will understand this. If she dosn't, well that means she is selfish and her motives are purely that. Selfish. Just remember that this girl has made her bed, now she has to lay in it. We all have problems and we all deal with it. Had she been a friend the whole time, maybe it would be a different story, but your first concern should be your wife's feelings on this, and I can tell you what you wife's feelings are without a doubt. She would want you to have nothing to do with this person. We all have thoughts and wonders about others at times, the thing that makes you (or anyone in a similar plight) a good person is not acting on these thoughts and being true to the one you are with. We are all human and notice other persons we are attracted to. Nothing is wrong with that (if you're bored..well.... that's what porn is for), but..I guess read what I wrote above again if you have any questions. In general cheating isn't always physical so don't shit where you eat my friend. Or another classic one is, put yourself in her shoes and think how you would feel if she did this to you. (not that you have done anyhting but IF) Do the right thing and close this chapter of your life for good. ps write this off and never mention it to your wife. NO good will come of even bringing it up. Love, Dr. Schmedly
I think Maj Havoc is on the right path, just rub one out. Or better yet, call her as your doing it and say "That could have been all over you" Then hang up on her.
Run, Forrest, RUN!!! When you marry a woman, you marry her whole family. You don't want to take that freak show on the road so, stay your ass at home! I don't know you or your wife, but it sounds like you have a good thing. You can feel something for your ex as long as its intangible and not physical. The bird in your hand is worth anything in that other bush. Maybe the dream-state prognostication has you weirded out but, as Dr. Schmed said, chalk it up to coincidence. In the meantime, leave the memory in the spank bank and call it up once in a while when you're curious but pray you don't say her name in your sleep. Wouldn't want your sub-conscious to sell you out. Now, go touch yourself. Wax on.....whack off.... Havoc-sai, out.
Depends on the woman... Personally, I disagree. I find it's much easier to discuss things like this, you can figure out where the problem within your relationship lies that is making you theoretically stray. Of course it depends on the man as well, but women are more likely to propagate insecurities from such things.
Or you get woken up one night with your schween between some scissors and your wife saying, "So you wanna screw her now?" Of course malibu could be completely cool with it.
True some people use insecurity as a tool of control as well as an excuse. I'm not talking about exploiting an insecurity such as would be the case in Grim toying with his wife’s insecurity about his fidelity or lack thereof. But instead I am referring theoretically with his wife using the "I do not feel secure with you on this" excuse to control all aspects of Grims behavior over time this gradually morphs into Grim acting along strict guidelines set by his wife’s insecurities. I say nip it in the bud married couples should be able to be an open book for their partner to read otherwise it’s dysfunctional. Trust me on this I live in a dysfunctional relationship where I’m not insecure or jealous but my wife is. It won’t get any better only worse till it is addressed. Of course this is making a lot of assumptions on my part. ************ALERT************** On second thought after reading Phats last entry I advise going for the safe route don't say shit. Keep it all to yourself.
Don't shit where you eat, and don't fix something that isn't broken. Your marriage is going fine, don't fuck it up. If you need some backup on this advice go talk to a local bartender and ask him how many guys he's seen crying into their beer because the woman they love got hurt by something stupid they did. Keep your mouth shut, get rid of the phone number, and if you run into her again wish her luck but tell her you don't need a burger when you can go home and have steak. She'll get the message.
