Ok, since everyone else on this site has had anythint but monotanous long term relationships I will post stupid stuff I have done in the past. The skank bang. This generally happens after a long night of drinking and a ridiculous amount of built up baby batter. So at a kegger, party was ok, kind of thin, but it was a sunday night in the summer and we got the keg from the Class 6 store. The decent chicks all left around 10 or so, and I was about to take off when this homely girl starts talking to me about how drunk she is and how she doesnt even like bud light. SO Im like, ok, I wouldnt mind some head. So we ease off to one of the bedrooms and she's trying to kiss me and stuff (me no kissey skank) so Im letting her lick on my neck (benefit of being tall) and shes running her hand over my junk, and I am like "YES". but then she's like 'so how do you want to take me?' what kind of question is that? So, since I am not the least bit into this girl and if any of my friends busted in the room Id have to act like she had a gun on me, I tell her to get on her knees. So shes on the bed, me standing on the floor behind her, going at it. She is making some weird noises, just odd, kind of like someone trying to clear their throat. I am ridiculously not into it. Im looking down at this gelatinous (SP?) blob of ass and I am like what the fuck am I doing? So I continue on doing my thing, trying to figure out how to get out of this. Really wishing someone would bang on the door or something. Finally it hit me. I know how to end this. I start grunting like Im bout to lose it, I back out and make like Im rubbing one out, leaning over her back I actually spit on her..... just dropped a blob of saliva on her back. Letting out the ohhhh and all, couple more drops on her back and I know Im good. I tell her to not move so I can get something to wipe it off with, and I grab the covers of the bed and wipe her back off. I then make up some shit about having to work and nice to meet you, I gotta go.......I think she spent the night there, cause no one saw me leaving.
Monotonous or monogamous? Was that a Freudian slip? Like when I asked you how you were doing that one time and you meant to answer, "I'm good" but instead you said, "I'm gayer than a leather pinata."?
I had to read this again "after a long night of drinking and a ridiculous amount of built up baby batter" in my head it read -- after a long night of drinking a ridiculous amount of built up baby batter I was like WTF - why would he tell people this
It's monotonous. I didn't read the fine print on the marriage license. And just for the record, I'm a lesbian.
So you fucked some random nasty chick at a party without a cap? Dumb move dude. And yes I have also done this.
I was very ashamed. My dick was hard out of spite. I dont think I could have jacked one off on her back for real. I would have been ther for ever. maybe put a playboy across her ass, then i might have been able to let one fly.
"gelatinous blob of ass", hahahaha. That gives a really disturbing visual...though I'm gonna assume it's accurate.
Ah the anonymity of the internet reminds me of the night I got some how shuffled into having this fat girl in my truck. I was blind drunk should not have been driving. The radio kicks on when I start my truck at about 150 decibels and its that song by Queen on the radio “Fat Bottom Girlsâ€. I honestly do not mind a chick being a little bit thick. But that was not it this chick had an ass that took up the whole passenger side of my truck cab. And no Phat I was drunk but had enough self respect to drop her off at her house. Made some sort of excuse. And went out to another party. Two more beers though I'd have been there.
why is it that guys get drunk and fuck ugly chicks--- then say it was ok because they were drunk. What I mean is, ... just because you are drunk - you feel it is ok.... and you claim you would NEVER do it sober... hmmm so what is next??? fucking little raver fags in the but ....but its ok because you were drunk and would NEVER do it sober??? or pokin the family dog... but is ok---- you would never do it sober. Every person that has ever inserted a penis/tongue/finger whatever in me I was attracted to, in some way. (or I was paid.... just kiddin ...) I have never said - "ugg I was drunk and fucked a gross 500lb redneck." and I did some drinkin in my younger days. Is it because men are just gross pigs and will poke anything? Hell you nasty fuckers even fuck fruit for god's sake. I was bartender many years ago for a short time. One time we got this plain Jane looking chick come in with her friends. She asked for something sweet and not to alcoholie tasting. I mixed up some shit that had a tiny splash of alcohol in it .... and she tasted it... Ewwwww! she asked for something sweeter ... so I mixed up a bunch of crap with NO ALCOHOL. She loved it and after 4 she was acting like a drunk and hanging all over any guy that would sit next to her. Maybe it was a placebo affect ... but I think it was just an excuse to act like a slut. So the next day she could say ... I was drunk--- and would NEVER do that sober. Stop blaming the Bud Light ... you know you would have fucked her sober. You just use the alcohol as an excuse.
Y'kno... I've been in similar situations, but never actually went through with it... Except for that one time I passed out on the toilet at the Zoo, woke up after closing, and was stuck there overnight with only my bottle of Old Crow and my wits about me... And the female Bonobo Ape managed to seduce me into her cage... At least, I think it was a female...
