Pranks

So the other day I decided to pull a prank on a friend of mine. I bought $100 dollars worth of plastic-wrap and foil, with two bottles of ketchup and a bottle of dishwashing soap (so she can clean up the mess) and a bunch of realistic fake spiders (she's scared to death of them)...oh, and toilet paper! I started off with the plastic wrap and used about half of it, wrapping her truck with it. Then I dumped the whole bottle of soap on the hood of the truck and wrapped toilet paper all around.
Then I started with the foil, but it was making too much noise so that was stopped. Then came both bottles of ketchup followed by the spiders hidden under the foil. Finally, the final 1200 square feet of plastic wrap was used. It was a harmless prank, and I didn't think it was good enough. She screamed when she found the spiders, and when she started to take off the stuff on the hood of her truck, she got covered in the soap. And the ketchup started cooking (thank God for the plastic wrap covering the paint, she has a real nice truck) and it stank. She ended up missing her one hour meeting for work and spent the morning cleaning her truck off. Her in-laws have all seen her truck, as well as half the neighborhood. Her father-in-law already threatened to call the cops on me (I'm not scared because I was a Military Policeman, and I know it the owner has to be the one to press charges).
Does anyone out there have any other pranks that I could do to her, that are harmless, but are really really good? I have less than a month left before she moves back down to San Diego with her husband. I know it's immature, but I don't give a f*ck. I find it funny, and I know she does (which is why I'm not in jail right now) AND I know she plans to retaliate before she leaves. Any ideas? Anyone? Beuller?

 

Get up early one morning before she goes to work, sneak down to her house wearing an all black ninja suit. Lay down behind her truck where she can't see you, (long ways, behind the passenger side tire) and let her back the truck out of the drive way, running you over with both tires in the process. When she sees you laying lifeless in the driveway and rushes over to see if you are alive, cough up some blood right in her face and die in a dramatic fashion with contortions and seizures and all. Crap your pants, and roll around on the driveway completely covering it in your blood and excrement. The traumatized look on her face will give you the satisfaction you are looking for, I promise.

OR

If you insist on pranking, which is just another way to say "I Love You" by the way, then here goes -

1. Take an Irish Potato and ram it into the tailpipe with a broom handle.

2. Too much? Then just put a whistle tip in the exhaust. Stick it in with JB Weld at night about six inches inside. It will be solid and invisible by morning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnzw_i4YmKk

3. Still too much? Get some Anti-Seize (graphite) and put it under the door handles. Just a little is all it takes. The crap will get on everything, and is impossible to remove. Don't want to do permanent damage? Then just put a little "deer in rut" scent under the handles. She will Love you long time.

4. Too much? Surely you have a picture of her that she REALLY wouldn't want anyone to see. Get Phatboy to explain the concept of "anonymous websites" and have fun.

OR

...you could do the most damaging thing (psychologically) possible to do to another person. Just completely and thoroughly ignore her from this day forward. No emails, texts, or anything. Do not return her letters, reject her phone calls, walk the other way if you see her. If she walks right up to you, just stare through her. There is no better way to insult someone that to just treat them as if they didn't exist.

 

I thought you were talking about your ex. If this girl is really a "friend" then just steal a flashbang from the training room. Tie one string to the pin and to her bumper, and the other end to a tree. She backs up -BANG! ROTFLMAO:biggrin::biggrin:

ahem.

buy them legally here - http://www.dbcpyrotechnics.com/servlet/the-792/Flash-Bang-Diversionary-Device/Detail

 

what you did is not a prank... pranks are funny little things you do to people you know. What you did is something you do to an enemy.

I just like putting my baby's shittie diapers in cars that have the windows down, and when I am mad I write bad words in their lawn with weed killer.


One time I did go to an exotic pet store and bought a bunch of bugs and put them in my X boyfriend's sister's car (she was a cunt) I think it was 100 meal worms, and huge bag or grasshoppers.

oh and I still buy stupid bumper stickers and put them on friends cars. My dad was so excited when he got a new Hummer... but was pissed when he found out he had driving around with a gay pride sticker on his bumper for about a week. A few weeks later I put a " Eat A Queer Fetus For Jesus" on it... but he found it 2 days after.... when someone cussed him out at a redlight.

 

I know, it doesn't seem like a funny thing to do, but we had a good laugh about in the morning. She plans on getting me back for it too. It's just something we have been doing to each other since May. I started off writing her tickets from an obsolete ticket book I had leftover from when I was Military Police, and covered her windows with it. Then she wrapped my car up in plastic. Then I tied a dildo-squirt gun under her truck (which she was pulled over for, but no ticket, just having to explain to the cop why she had a penis tied to her truck). Then she tricks me into believing that she had already left for San Diego without saying "bye". So I choose to annoy her. I took great care that the paint of her truck wasn't damaged. I plan on leaving peanut butter under the door handle to her truck,then I will place some fake spiders in the peanut butter (she hates spiders, I mean really hates spiders). Then I will tape some plastic over her tailpipe with a couple of holes poked in (I plan on testing that out on my car first to make sure nothing serious happens). I just hope her father-in-law doesn't catch me, he already threatened to have me arrested. What's funny, was that my friend (who owns the truck) had no problems with what I did.

 

I like the bumper stickers. We used to put 'save a horse ride a cowboy' stickers on peoples trucks. Then those stupid country singers came out with a song so it wouldnt sound so gay. I also like putting the 'no fat chicks' on the back of a fiesta or geo metro. Cause you know there is going to be a fat girl getting into it sooner or later.



Vaseline on the door handles works pretty good too. Urinate in half a bottle of aunt jemima, shake well and spray all over the car and driveway. So many things to do.

Or you could act like grim and set up a murder scene in your house. Just dont get mad when she goes 'YES!!!!! They did it!!!!'

 

when I am mad at a business, I take a bottle of Buck Lure or Fox Lure and sprinkle it around.

But karma got me, and one I lost the cap and a bottle had a small amount still in it, and it spilt in a Prada purse - I was not too mad... it came from a thrift store.

 

Amateurs...

 

My nephews alway change my ring tone to some stupid country song _ Red Neck Yacht Club Trailer Park - they set it so it goes off when certain people call and I seem to always be in a quiet public place when it goes off. Little bastards

 

At least it wasnt 'baby got back' or 'the crying game'

 

All pretty good pranks.

I gotta say except for the first one sorry but it seems like the joke is on you for spending 100.00 for a rather lame joke.

There was one very telling point I noticed when you said :

So what are the stalking laws like there where you live?

The dildo prank was funny though I gotta admit but what does a guy say when he goes into one of those sex shops to buy one?

Walks up to the counter forces a nervous grin and says "This is for a prank its gonna be so funny!"

 

i know a gud one i done....if ur sink has the little spray thing to it....ya know...there's a faucet then the litlle spryaer.....well wut i done was tied a rubberband to the thing that mke sit spray,and waited for sum1 to turn the sink on so it squirted them...hillarious i sware...lols...

 

I'm sorry, but when I saw your avatar, I was thinking "fresh meat" - but when I read your post, I couldn't help but think, "5th grader."

 

Lomo I understand the whole tradition of hazing the new peeps but we need more chicks on the forum.

Besides, you know if she stays on the other girls will get all catty like they need to protect their territory anyways and that's fun to watch.

Hell even the pseudo chicks. I bet Nursey will come back from the dead.

 

I did not think it was a chick. I guess my screen is dark... I thought it was a meixcan or american indian 13-15 year old guy with long hair. and no not being catty- thats what my screen looks like.

either way-from that post I can tell you - it is not old enough to drive....or retarded....or huffs household products. OR all of the above

I wish more chicks were on here... hell I wish more people in general were on here....but not kids. At one time women ruled this forum... and you guys were just filler.

I miss "Unlimited Time". she would dress up real ugly-draw on a unibrow and thick glasses and make ugly faces... and have sexy webcam chats with dorks on yahoo. They would all say "you are so sexy" Those were fun.

 

I'm with Joe on this one.

 

I don't care if women post here as long as they are funny.

 

Unlimited Time was funny, I think what you were reading probably was someone yes young that posted from a web phone or sends text all the time from a phone to friends of the same age group and that is the style.

You hear about some teen age girl recently killing her self because people made fun of her on facebook or myspace?

 

Shit... We've got Dan - aren't his emasculating antics feminine enough for the rest of the gals here?

Hell - half the time you might think you're typing to a 'gal' - it's really just Dan.

His real name is "Lillian Oglethorpe," BTW. I did some recon, and found out that "Lillian" had one of those sex changes, and posts as Dan after her Addidictome.

 

You should be glad, too.

"Thinning the herd" is not given enough credit these days.

Imagine if that little girl had lived long enough to instill her insecurities and total misunderstanding of values upon a future generation. Then, imagine her meeting the brick wall that caused her to off herself after giving birth to progeny that would, in all likelihood, share in her silly self-conscious, detrimental, mental problems.

That truly would be a worst-case scenario. Imagine her procreating, imparting the genetic code that led to her own demise onto her offspring, and then not teaching them how to properly execute themselves when they meet their own brick walls, later in life.

I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for people that take the cowardly way out, and willingly end their own lives. I feel for their friends and families, but offer them some sort of solace in the usual fact that "There was nothing they could have done..."

Do I come off as cold and heartless?