I am a bitter clown

Discussion in 'Complaints, Requests and Suggestions.' started by Ministersf, May 10, 2002.

  1. Ministersf

    Ministersf New Member

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    451
    So i buy this laptop on an auction and pay for overnight delivery ("next day air"). It cost me like $50 but what the hell, I get paid every week and I don't pay more than the minimum balance on my credit card anyway... Today the order status is still "In Process"... What the Fuck is That??? Last time I checked, the "next day" after thursday was friday. It's friday. I want my shit. Why am I, well, let me rephrase that, why are the good people at Visa paying all this money if i'm not getting what I pay for. I'm a bitter clown. I almost got scammed twice on this auction site and when i finally get a real item, they yank me around.
     
  2. Ministersf

    Ministersf New Member

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    451
    What the fuck?!! So now it's back in credit card processing??? I called them up and bitched about the laptop not arriving today and I think they sent me back to stage one. I just want my computer is that so wrong? That's the problem with the internet. There's no fucking accountability. I could sit here all day and make threatening references to the U.N. and nobody would do shit. I wish there was somewhere to go and complain (besides this forum, not like anyone will ever read this anyway). When I'm president I'll make it a law that all retail companies have to have someone on hand to be bitched at 24-7. I'll also make it a law that once a year, wives and girlfriends have to consent to anal sex. And I'll make it a law that anyone who pisses on a public toilet seat without laughing out loud about it will be stuck with a cattle-prod. I'm so mad, I could eat at Arby's
     
  3. Ministersf

    Ministersf New Member

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    451
    So what's up with this Fat Joe character, anyway? I think his album sucks. It's pretty simple for a new rap album. It sounds like he made it with an old four-track tape recorder and a $25 KMart synthesizer. Not that I have anything against KMart. I buy all my clothes there, or I would if they carried tall and fat sizes.
    So the music is lame and the raps aren't really all that good either. Everything's so repetative (whoo hoo spelled that wrong) and pretty seventh-grade level. It's kind of insulting. Plus he says the "n" word a lot and he's hispanic. Is that allowed? I don't think so.
    Don't make the mistake I did of stealing his CD from and eight-year-old and running away with it. It's not worth the beating he gives you when he catches up with you.
     
  4. Matthew

    Matthew New Member

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    722
  5. Ministersf

    Ministersf New Member

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    451
    So look at this shit. This guy who tried to scam me on this laptop auction site sends me this email to prove to me that he's not a criminal

    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>
    Dear customer,

    We would be glad to anounce you Mr Franchini Marco is
    legit and all his customers will be protected by uBid.
    This means that if he will not send you the product we
    will refund you for the payment. Payment prove will be
    westernunion recipient. Please have a nice business.

    uBid team http://www.uBid.com
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    his freaking email address is right there in the hotmail header:
    (here it is, by the way, if you want to call him a jackass)

    julianno@te-iubesc-mult.ro

    Like I'm gonna fall for that! Look bitch, I have a degree in Engineering. I'm an edjukated man. Just because I spend 10% of my income on lottery tickets and cigarettes doesn't mean I fall for every ruse. What kind of world is this?
     
  6. Ministersf

    Ministersf New Member

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    451
    So there's this guy who works with me and he talks alot. He comes and sits in my office and rambles on about machining methods. He doesn't really even know what he's talking about. He just rehashes things over and over again. It drives me nuts. I work right in front of him and respond to his chatter with "Uh huh", and "Oh yeah?". I usually don't even look at him when he's talking. Sometimes I work on my computer and just leave my back to him (continuing the "Uh huh", and "Oh yeah?" at regular intervals). Sometimes I even interrupt him with an "Uh huh" or "Oh yeah?" when he's talking and he just keeps going. It drives me nuts. He reminds me a lot of the deliverence banjo guy only older and without the banjo. This picture reminds me of him too:
     
  7. Matthew

    Matthew New Member

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    722
    0100110001101001011000110110101100100000011011010111100100100000011000100110000101101100011011000111001100000000

    Thats Binary code for lick my balls.
     
  8. kitana

    kitana New Member

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    5,555
    ROFL. i feel yer pain
     
  9. ratatouille

    ratatouille New Member

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    2,688
    Ouchy feels your pain too


     
  10. Matthew

    Matthew New Member

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    722
    Ouchy the clown is going to dj my wedding. I dont care what my future wife says.
     
  11. Ministersf

    Ministersf New Member

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    451
    I think I should start a cult. Or join one... Nah, I'll start one. I'm sure that for every person with the nutsack to claim he's Jesus there's at least a dozen or so genetic throwbacks who'll believe him. That's the great thing about living in a world with 6 billion people. If you can convince even 0.1% of them that you're Buddha or something you're set for life. You've always got some ass 'cause you just say "I must spread the god-seed" and people fall right into line. You can even send your mass-married wives out to recruit more wives (or husbands, I suppose, if that's your thing).
    Yeah. I think I could do that. Once a day you just come out of your little breeding hut slobbering like a freak and claim to be speaking in tongues. People eat that shit up. Then demand money. People could even farm lima-beans for you and make money.
    That's what cults do, right? Farm lima beans and have crazy group sex? Even if you don't like lima beans at least you can look forward to the sex. Sex with your GOD. Whoo hoo. That's the shit...
    Eatin lima beans, fuckin mad ho's and speaking in tongues. That's for me. I'll call my cult the "Mormons". That sounds like a good name.
     
  12. Ministersf

    Ministersf New Member

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    451
    Breasts are pretty cool but I think there needs to be more of them. Like a third one in the back for dancing. That would be great.

    I'm pretty much in favor of anything that makes it easier to cop cheapies. Cheapies are what keeps a man going between one-night stands.

    You should get some cheapies or something when you open a checking account. Do you get them though? No. You get some tupperware. I think there should be a sliding reward chart for free gifts when you open an account. Like:
    $100 = some Grab Ass (notice the capitalization)
    $1000 = Head
    $5000 = 1/2 hour in the vault with any teller you chose

    That would probably be bad for the economy though... Banks with shitty interest rates would be full of money 'cause they have hot tellers. No one would buy anything 'cause they were putting all of their money in the bank.

    Still, sex is a big industry. Supported by MEN I might add... Men are underappreciated. Think of all the hot but stupid people would be on welfare if there were no men to support the porno industry. Women should thank us for saving them so much in taxes every year. People should thank white people too because if it weren't for us honkies, the entire mayonaise and cheeze-whiz industries would crumble overnight. The layoffs at Kraft alone would be catastrophic.
    The balance of nature is a beautiful and delicate but unappreciated thing.
     
  13. Matthew

    Matthew New Member

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    722
  14. Ministersf

    Ministersf New Member

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    451
    Hell yeah, a real-doll would be fresh. That would be a great gift for the $10,000 level. With my luck though, I would get one that played a "Not tonight, dear" message every time I tripped it's snatch sensor. (ha ha, I said snatch).
     
  15. kitana

    kitana New Member

    Messages:
    5,555
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rattila the hon:
    Ouchy feels your pain too


    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    y did u have to bring him up again!

    eww, nasty boy talk
     
  16. ratatouille

    ratatouille New Member

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    2,688
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitana The UnDead:
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    y did u have to bring him up again!
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
    because everyone loves a clown dammnit.

     
  17. canine_STD

    canine_STD New Member

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    1,386
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Matthew:
    Thats Binary code for lick my balls.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    No it isn't.
     
  18. FredVegas

    FredVegas New Member

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    1,096
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="verdana">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rattila the hon:
    because everyone loves a clown dammnit. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    clowns scare me...

     
  19. FredVegas

    FredVegas New Member

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    1,096
    let's try that again. Take two:

    clowns scare me...

     
  20. FredVegas

    FredVegas New Member

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    1,096
    GODDAMNIT!!!!



    this one better work....
     

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