Date tips.

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by BIGMAMA, Feb 22, 2009.

  1. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    I know that a lot of young guys are on here... and I just wanted to give them some date tips.

    1. Dont say the same thing over and over "love your eyes" or "you are so pretty" you can say it...just one time.

    2. Dont talk on your cell phone... especially if you are doing it to sound more important with your job. (remember the scene from "Freddy Got Fingered" )

    3. If you meet for coffee or drinks, dont taste her drink.

    4. Dont think chicks are stupid... "oh I drive a _____ but my brother needed it today, so I am driving his minivan"

    5. Dont wear a hat, she will think you are hiding something.

    6. Dont ask if her boobies are real or fake

    7. If she answers a cell phone, that did not ring, and her friend is broke down and she has to leave ASAP...take a hint.

    my Plenty of Fish dating adventures sucked this weekend. But I am about to get dressed and head out to meet a dentist from an Arab online date site. Only problem with this one..no pic - but I did look him up on a dentist rating site- seems to be a good dentist, so hopefully he will be cute.... but I have a feeling he will not.

    I tried to go out with the white boys... they just dont feel right, look right, sound right... so I am stickin to my brown boys (Arabs & Indians) oh and all the white guys seems to think I am a foreigner...and say I have an accent... I guess I have pulled a Madonna and picked one up some how. Plus I think I like collecting hard to say/spell last names.
     
  2. BigEddie

    BigEddie New Member

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    Im guilty of no. 5. I wear a hat almost everyday, just because Ive grown to like wearing it, even in the rain. got ok hair, but I just love wearing my hat. All other things you've mentioned is like common sense imo.
     
  3. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,885
    Some guys look better with a hat. Just don't wear it backwards or barely resting on the top of your head. Just wear it correctly as all I ever ask.
     
  4. BigEddie

    BigEddie New Member

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    150
    Thats exactly the only way I wear it. I hate guys who wear their hats backwards and also guys who wear white sunglasses, its not only gay, but a faux paus.
     
  5. Reizvolles

    Reizvolles Active Member

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    2,487
    I know a guy who looks better with a hat on.

    My biggest tip: don't try and impress her! If she's on a date with you, then you most likely already have impressed her enough. So don't be a try hard.

    Some of the worst dates I have been on turned bad because the guy acted anomalously.
     
  6. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    well here is another tip... dont be a fucking mama's boy UGGG I hate that!

    Went out with the dentist...everything was fine, until he said "yeah my mom is getting older and I am I trying to talk her into selling her home and move in with me"

    one of the best things about foreigners.... 90% of the time...mom is in another country.

    I dont do well with moms or old people.
     
  7. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    Here's a tip you left out.

    If she's giving you a hand job in the car, politely say, 'hey this is great and all, but would you mind catching it in your mouth, I dont want it to get all over the car'

    :p
     
  8. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    I believe you are talkin bout the kinda dates you pay for... in that case, you gots to pay extra- for the mouth receptacle

    oh did I hurt your feelings with whole "hat" thing?? sorry ...forgot you wore one.
     
  9. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,885
    Being old is gross and not fun.

    I don't want to be old and have to be taken care of. That's why I have a suicide plan and don't worry about 401k and all of that other BS.
     
  10. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    Ive never had to pay for it unless you consider dinner and a movie paying. I dont mind the hat statement. I burn easily and I am pretty much bald (well receding anyway) and I dont like the idea of skin cancer, so I wear the hat. Outdoors mainly.

    I think most people in general dont know how to 'date'. A few real rules to follow.

    1. Dont talk too much.

    If your date asks you a question just answer it, dont go on a 30 minute rant about how your 7th grade girlfriend/boyfriend made this annoying laugh (nobody cares).

    2. Dont have 'top that' discussions.

    If your date tells you something, dont always come back with the 'oh yea, this one time at .... a similar thing happened to me. It's a date, not a competition.

    3. Don't fart.

    Unless you want the date to end early.

    4. Dont take them places you used to go with your ex.

    5. Puerto Rican showers are not OK.

    Take a real bath for petes sake.

    6. Powder your boys

    After a long night of dancing you dont want to be slapping her chin with your slimey cod sack. Or maybe you do.... :)



    *****

    This could be a really helpful thread for those of the younger generation of fuglyites.
     
  11. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    Im bad about the "top that" ... thats because most people are lame...one guy showed me a scar on his leg... puhlease... what a pussy. I really wanted to drop my pants and show off my c-section scar...but I was a lady, and did not.

    My problem is, I dont like anyone, so I sit there observing them, and focusing on the all the wrong stuff.

    Funny thing is... I dont really want to "date" anyone, I just want to meet them...
    I need to just give up on dates - because they are not as fun as it was when I younger... and men seem to be desperate to get married, or just dorky... I seem to have become a snob, and feel no one is good enough to bang... that is unless I am drunk. Think I will stop meetings, and just fuck the kid that works at the Petco... not that HE is good enough, but he sure looks fun to ride.
     
  12. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    That cracked me up.

    I think 'top that' is okay if it's funny. Anything serious is bad.

    "My grampa died in a plane crash"

    "No way, mine did too, but just as the plane was about to hit the ground he jumped out and got run over by a train, how crazy is that?"

    (LAME)

    I have always been a believer if you just let someone talk, they will eventually tell you every stupid detail about their life that you never really wanted to know. Then you realize how lame they are and dont see them again.
     
  13. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    my problem is staying entertained... if the person is boring, I will start doing/saying stupid shit, just for my own shits and giggles.

    One guy asked me if my tits were real, then asked if I ever had any plastic surgery... so I said "yeah, on my vagina, I kinda had it tailored... you know had it taken in a little" the guy sitting near us actually looked up from his laptop and gave me a wink and a smile . I never knew what that wink meant... did he know I was full of shit , or was he turned on by vagina plastic surgery... I dont know. But I will tell funny shit, just for fun, its not like Im ever gonna see his ass again. I forget how loud my voice is.
     
  14. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    That is funny. He was probably winking cause he was looking at your facebook pic while you were talking.

    My brother told this girl he was dating, that was a lot younger than him (her early 20s) that he only had half a vasectomy.

    And she believed him.
     
  15. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    I have told a guys that I was a hermaphrodite... that was long time ago..in my younger days. I actually told that a few times. Most just got shy, but one time it back fired on me (guy from Iran) and he made me pay for my meal... it was kinda funny. He said I dont buy guys dinner... I said but I am only half, so how about you pay for half my meal. He did not find it at all funny.
    Funny thing is, once he got all pissed off and dropped all bullshit and wanted to leave, I kinda liked him. It showed me he was straight.

    I found an X boyfriend on that site, and he looks really good now, and he sent me a message, but he was into some gross stuff... I have a feeling I will be using him as my cooter maintenance man.
     
  16. phatboy

    phatboy New Member

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    6,956
    What do you want him to do, Paint the walls and shampoo the carpet?
     
  17. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    naa just a some dingdong here and there.. whenever I want it.

    ya know, slip me some salami on Saturday and Sunday.
     
  18. Nauseous

    Nauseous Active Member

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    10,885
  19. Reizvolles

    Reizvolles Active Member

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    2,487
    Don't fuck on the first date. Seriously.
     
  20. BIGMAMA

    BIGMAMA New Member

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    2,169
    and dont date Reizvolles... she wont put out... that dirty slut. :p

    I dont have a problem fucking on the first date. hell My first husband, and first long term boyfriend.. both were first date screws. My second husband... well he got "his" on the first date... but it was an accident.

    there is a big difference in fucking on the first date...., and one night stands with guys from a bar/party etc.. I mean I have had first dates that lasted 3 days... so it was not like fucking a stranger...

    Anyone that I knew was going to be a ONS ... I robbed.. I have a little touch whore and small case of klepto in me.
     

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