Lomotil
10-26-2006, 01:00 AM
Finally saw a *real* psychaitrist this morning, and accomplished more in half an hour than I did in all four of my previous attempts (http://www.fuglyforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=8656).
I like this guy. He talked fast, got straight down to the point, and didn't waste any of my time (or subsequent visits) to help. He asked questions that were specific to instances I described before I had gone over all of the details.
He mentioned something that I had considered (despite some literature I'd previously read to the contrary), that some of my OCD symptoms were actually manifestations of the ADD itself. He asked questions about any drugs that I might have done, and I was completely honest with him. He asked specifically about what I thought of my methamphetamine use, and I told him, quite frankly, that I liked it. I explained that it gave me the focus that I needed to perform whatever task it was that I'd set out to do. I also told him how I always used it as a 'tool' - rather than a recreational drug. I would only acquire it when I had a specific task at hand, be it house-cleaning or studying for a test, and that when the event was over with, there was never any 'craving' for the drug. I also added that I didn't like the risk involved with dealing with illicit drugs, most notably the fact that you don't really know 'what' exactly is in what you buy off the street, second only to the legal aspects of it.
So, I ended up getting a 30 day prescription for Adderall XR 15 mg. He wants to see me again in another month to discuss how the drug is affecting me, if and when the effects start to 'drop off' during the day, and if any of my OCD habits disappear as a result of treating the ADD.
Now, honestly, I've had Adderall before (don't know what strength, or whether it was XR or not), but it was given to me by a classmate years ago. I only used it on a day that I was studying for a test, and I seem to remember it working well for that. However, regarding today's first dose of my own prescription, on a day when I didn't have a test to study for, I wasn't expecting it to have the impact that it did.
I knew I'd feel more energetic than normal, but I had no idea just how well the drug was going to treat my condition. I feel as if I've rediscovered myself, or rather, reaquainted myself with "the old Lomo" - I haven't felt this well in probably a decade or more. My ambition, drive, follow-through, and attention have all found their way back to me. I feel as if I've unlocked the door to my true potential. Hell, during a regular lecture that I had today, I was able to focus completely on the topic at hand, take the best notes I've taken in years, and remain completely on top of the information presented to me. Not a single random thought popped into my mind, not a bit of daydreaming, or any other distraction like I normally get. (Except the Jewish chick sticking her hand up my shirt sleeve)
It will be interesting to see what happens in this month...
I like this guy. He talked fast, got straight down to the point, and didn't waste any of my time (or subsequent visits) to help. He asked questions that were specific to instances I described before I had gone over all of the details.
He mentioned something that I had considered (despite some literature I'd previously read to the contrary), that some of my OCD symptoms were actually manifestations of the ADD itself. He asked questions about any drugs that I might have done, and I was completely honest with him. He asked specifically about what I thought of my methamphetamine use, and I told him, quite frankly, that I liked it. I explained that it gave me the focus that I needed to perform whatever task it was that I'd set out to do. I also told him how I always used it as a 'tool' - rather than a recreational drug. I would only acquire it when I had a specific task at hand, be it house-cleaning or studying for a test, and that when the event was over with, there was never any 'craving' for the drug. I also added that I didn't like the risk involved with dealing with illicit drugs, most notably the fact that you don't really know 'what' exactly is in what you buy off the street, second only to the legal aspects of it.
So, I ended up getting a 30 day prescription for Adderall XR 15 mg. He wants to see me again in another month to discuss how the drug is affecting me, if and when the effects start to 'drop off' during the day, and if any of my OCD habits disappear as a result of treating the ADD.
Now, honestly, I've had Adderall before (don't know what strength, or whether it was XR or not), but it was given to me by a classmate years ago. I only used it on a day that I was studying for a test, and I seem to remember it working well for that. However, regarding today's first dose of my own prescription, on a day when I didn't have a test to study for, I wasn't expecting it to have the impact that it did.
I knew I'd feel more energetic than normal, but I had no idea just how well the drug was going to treat my condition. I feel as if I've rediscovered myself, or rather, reaquainted myself with "the old Lomo" - I haven't felt this well in probably a decade or more. My ambition, drive, follow-through, and attention have all found their way back to me. I feel as if I've unlocked the door to my true potential. Hell, during a regular lecture that I had today, I was able to focus completely on the topic at hand, take the best notes I've taken in years, and remain completely on top of the information presented to me. Not a single random thought popped into my mind, not a bit of daydreaming, or any other distraction like I normally get. (Except the Jewish chick sticking her hand up my shirt sleeve)
It will be interesting to see what happens in this month...